The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back
by Amberdiamondswords
Summary: You thought it was over? HAHAHA...it was. But now the dares are back and better than ever in this sequel to the beloved 'Diamond Dare Show'. New characters to dare, new Pokémon arrive, and Swords has all new ways to torture the ninja. Rated T because of language, you all saw that rating coming.
1. Chapter 1: Return

AmberDS: Alright, it's Friday afternoon, my schedule is clear, and it's gonna rain later. Perfect day for typing fan fiction. Now, which story should I work on?

...

...

...

*Starts typing a Diamond Dare Show chapter*

AmberDS: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, what am I doing? The Diamond Dare Show is over, I made it clear in episode 30. I'm already in enough trouble with breaking the guidelines and I don't need to further it. Plus people said that it was boring anyway! I need to face it, The Diamond Dare Show is dead!

*Sees that she's already written half a chapter*

AmberDS: ...Aw fuck

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2**_

**Main host: Swords Evelyn (that's right she has a last name)**

**Co-hosts: Ratchet and Clank**

**Director: Frank Eisenhower**

Swords: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Eisenhower!

Frank: -_-

**(AmberDS apologizes if your last name is Eisenhower) **

**Darable characters**

**-Kai**

**-Cole**

**-Jay**

**-Zane**

**-Lloyd**

**-Nya**

**-Sensei Wu**

**-Garmadon**

**-Misako**

**-Dareth (Get it? DARE-th?! Ehehe...heh heh...I need to shut up now)**

**-Pythor**

**-Skales**

**-Cyrus Borg**

**-Pixal**

**-Overlord**

**-General Cryptor**

**-Mindroid**

**Old Pokémon**

**-Voltz the Pikachu (Thunderbolt)**

**-Slushy the Articuno (Ice Beam)**

**-Twilight the Charizard (Fire Blast and X Mega available)**

**New Pokémon**

**Tomb the Garchomp (Sand Tomb and Mega available)**

**Dark Angel the Absol (Razor Wind and Mega available)**

**Azura the Flygon (Dragon Rush)**

**Xavier the Crawdaunt (Vicegrip)**

**Degree the Moltres (Hyper Beam)**

**Thor the Zapdos (Drill Peck)**

**Percy the Suicune (Hydro Pump)**

**I WILL NOT accept dares from prpldragon, Zelyd, webchow, Sketchrex, Netbug009, and, for now, Hearts in Ice**

* * *

**Be sure to send in dares!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	2. Chapter 2: Back and Better Than Ever

Swords: *Kicks open door to the studio* OW MY FOOT!

Ratchet: Told ya' not to do it

Swords: *Stomps on Ratchet's foot*

Ratchet: OW!

Swords: Didn't tell me not to do that. Alright boys, bring em' in!

Workers: *Brings in new darable characters*

Cyrus: Where are we going?

Swords: Hell, that's where

Pixal: Are we being taken prisoner?

Swords: In a way, yes. But don't worry, Zane's waiting for you. (God I ship them so hard)

Overlord: I demand to be released RIGHT NOW! I am the ultimate evil, AND I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!

Clank: *Kicks Overlord*

Overlord: OW!

Clank: Hehehehehe!

Swords: Move him along

Worker: And uh, here are those Nindroids you wanted

*Two boxes are rolled inside*

Swords: Um...why are they in boxes?

Clank: *Tugs on Swords' pants*

Swords: What?

Clank: *Points to a sticker on the box that says 'IKEA'*

Swords: ...Aw fuck (That's gonna be a thing now)

**-Several hours later**-

Swords: Okay, we managed to finish Mindroid

Ratchet: Now all we have to do is-

Mindroid: *Falls apart*

Swords: *In an angry tone* Mmmmmmmm

**-Several more hours later-**

Swords: Okay, we're done...again. Let's turn him on.

Ratchet: *Turns the switch to 'on'*

Mindroid: ...

Swords: Why isn't it working?

Clank: *Reads instructions* It says..."batteries sold separately"

Swords: ...*throws wrench onto the ground* DAMN YOU IKEA!

**New show means new theme song. So here it is, the Diamond Dare Show theme song runner up, Counting Dares (parody of Counting Starts by OneRepublic)**

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Welcome back or for the first time my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to start bringing the pain once again-

Kai: I THOUGHT THAT THIS CRAP WAS OVER WITH?! *Starts crying into Cole's kimono*

Cole: Get offa me!

Kai: NO! *Keeps crying*

Ratchet: Should I tell them about Lavashipping?

Swords: Totally, but after the show. I wanna get their reactions on film.

Clank: Swords, what's Lavashipping?

Swords: I'm going to pretend that you didn't just ask me that question

Clank: ...

Swords: ...ANYWAY it's the first episode of the new show, everyone's excited and they brought me a dump-truck load of dares. Seriously, I got 42 dares, I'm gonna need to save some of these dares for the next episode. But let's get started anyway! First dare is for Pixal, kiss Mindroid

Mindroid: :D

Pixal: Oh...um...alright *kisses Mindroid*

Zane: *Points to Mindroid* You're dead you little punk!

Mindroid: :P

Zane: Grrrrrrr

Swords: One of my friends thinks that Mindroid is like...yours and Pixal's child

Everyone: ...

Swords: Well I didn't say I thought it too! ANYWAY, next dare is for Dareth.

Dareth: Oh boy, I got a dare in the first episode!

Swords: Yes, and you get to be the first person Clank gets to beat up!

Dareth: ...*Starts running*

Ratchet: Nuh-uh, you ain't gettin' away. SICK HIM CLANK!

Clank: Throw me! Throw me!

Swords: *Grabs Clank* Hut, hut, HIKE! *Throws Clank*

Clank: *Tackles Dareth*

Dareth: SAVE ME ARCEUS!

Clank: The god of Pokémon ain't listening to you! *Grabs Dareth and throws him into the wall*

Dareth: OW!

Clank: Oops, sorry I missed, let me just *Throws Dareth into the wall again* Sorry, I'll get this right *And again* My aiming's a little off today, I'll just *And again* I really need to get my optic sensors checked. Alright hold on, let's just *Throws him out the window* There we go

Ratchet: I think Dareth might be really hurt

Swords: I know, isn't it wonderful?

Ratchet: Yes it is

Swords: Ehehe, next dare is for Zane. He must battle Cryptor...he must battle Cryptor...Ratchet, do you know what this means?

Ratchet: I do...

Swords and Ratchet: NINDROID FIGHT!

_**NINDROID FIGHT**_

_**Zane vs. General Cryptor**_

Swords: *In an announcer booth with Ratchet and Clank* How we doing tonight ladies and gentlemen? Swords Evelyn here with Ratchet Lombax and Clank Robot, we're sitting here waiting for the big Nindroid vs. Nindroid fighting event. What do you think about this robotic fight of epicness, Ratchet?

Ratchet: This is definitely gonna be one hell of a fight, but I have an important question. How the hell did you pay for this announcer booth and equipment?

Swords: All I can say is that there's a huge hole in the Diamond Dare Show's budget-oh! It's starting!

Zane and Cryptor: *Enters the ring*

Cryptor: You gonna go down original Nindroid!

Zane: It is you who will go down!

Kai: Yeah! Go Zane! You got this! *Whispers to Jay* Put my money on Cryptor

*A book hits Kai in the face*

Kai: OW!

Swords: Good thing I installed the book launcher into the booth *fires book launcher*

Cole: *Hit in the face with a book* OW! Hey look, Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters!

Clank: The movie was terrible!

Zane: Alright, let's get this fight st-

Cryptor: *Punches Zane*

Zane: ...OW! You piece of robotic crap! I'll kill you! *Beats up Cryptor*

Swords: There's only one thing to do in this situation *Starts throwing money* SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Ratchet: I may only have bolts for money, but shut up and take them! *Throws bolts*

Swords: Whoo! Make it hail Ratchet! Clank, load The Hunger Games!

Clank: Which one?

Swords: **All three of them**

Clank: *Loads Hunger Games book and fires them* Face my literature!

Cryptor: *Gets knocked out by books*

**_KNOCKOUT...BY KNOWLEDGE!_**

Swords: Ah...that was fun. Well Zane, I hope you're not tired-

Zane: I was just in a fight for my life

Swords: Yeah, so was I after I ate that bean burrito but you don't hear me complaining about it

Ratchet: ...Ahahaha, it's a toilet joke

Swords: Yes it is. ANYWAY Zane, your dare is for you to do play the Impossible Quiz *throws an iPod at Zane's face*

Zane: Ow. Alright, let's try this...tap these colors...wait w-why...wait it says I'm wrong...I'm tapping the colors but...this...doesn't...make ...ANY...SENSE..._OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD_

Swords: HIT THE DECK!

Everyone: *Cowards under chairs*

Zane: _OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVER-*_Explodes*

Ratchet: I thought that Zane was the author's favorite ninja?

Swords: What? That means that she can't make him explode?

Ratchet: ...

Swords: ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Cole

Cole: Ah, my first dare of the show. I take it that it's Nya related?

Swords: Close *Pulls out two Pokeballs*

Cole: ...Aw fuck

Swords: Ehehe, let's see what a combination of old and new can do *throws Pokeballs and Voltz and a Zapdos comes out*

Thor: Gyaoooooooooo!

Cole: What the fuck is that thing?!

Swords: A spiky lightning bird of awesomeness that's what he freaking is! Sick him boys!

Voltz: *Points to Cole* Pika pi!

Thor: Gyaoooo!

Cole: ...AAAHHHH! *runs away*

Voltz: Pika pika pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaCHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Electrocutes Cole*

Swords: Thor, Drill Peck dat Earthy piece of shit!

Thor: Gyaoooooooooooooooooooo! *Uses Drill Peck (Zapdos has a VERY sharp beak)*

Cole: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW I'M BEING SHANKED BY A BIRD!

Swords: If I had to choose a way to die, that would be it

Ratchet: I thought that it was being blown up by a firework imported from England?

Clank: And the firework was lit by Toby Turner, Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Brent Miller, Seth MacFarlane, and every member of Imagine Dragons?

Swords: ...Okay, being shanked by a bird is the second way I would like to die...ANYWAY next dare is for Kai

Kai: Oh joy, let me guess, Twilight?

Swords: *Pulls out a Pokeball* Bitch, don't tempt me! No, yours involves another Pokémon

Kai: Who?

Swords: Alright, let him in!

*A Salamence comes bursting through the door*

Salamence: Saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Kai: ...Aw fuck

Swords: Hey, you know who'll love this guy? *Pulls out a Pokeball* Go, Azura!

*A Flygon comes out of the Pokeball*

Azura: Grrrrrrrrrrrnn

Kai: Now THAT is a man's dragon

Swords: Azura's...a...GIRL!

Kai: Oh come on-*gets carried away by Salamence*

Swords: Make sure Kai gets an extra hard time

Azura: Grrrrrrrn! *Flies with Salamance*

Kai: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ME?!

Salamence: *Hovers over a pool*

Kai: ...Oh, well I guess that's okay-

Azura: GON! *Opens mouth*

Kai: What...what are you-

**-HYPER BEAM TO DA' FACE-**

Kai: *Cough cough* I should've seen that coming...

Salamence: ...*shrugs and drops Kai*

Kai: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Salamence and Azura: *High five...or paw*

Kai: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH *Lands in a pool* Huh...there's eels in here...well, there are no eel Pokémon

Swords: *Yells from studio* Tynamo, Eelektrik, and Eelektross!

Kai: Aw shit! *Gets electrocuted*

Swords: They're electric types too, so this worked out nicely. ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Jay. You have to play through Pokémon Ruby Version to see what a pain in the ass Steven's Metagross is

Jay: Uh...okay

**Six hours later**

Jay: No! No don't use Psychic! No! NOOO! My Blaziken! It's all up to my Crawdaunt-NO! NOT METEOR MASH! AAAH! *Starts crying*

Swords: That Metagross was a pain to all of us...and then they gave it a damn Mega Evolution...we are all going to die...

Ratchet: ...I guess I'll read the next dare. Kai, you have to apologize to Twilight for calling her a guy

Kai: Why should I? She's eaten me countless times!

Swords: Yeah, because you called her a guy!

Kai: ...*sighs* Twilight I'm sorry that I called you a guy. THERE!

Twilight: ...

Kai: ...

Swords: ...

Ratchet and Clank: ...

Other characters: ...

Camera crew: ...

Twilight: ...*Eats Kai*

Kai: SON OF A BITCH!

Clank: I think that she just does not like him at this point

Swords: Meh, who does like that hothead?

Kai: I HEARD THAT!

Swords: You were supposed to! Next dare is for Jay, swear at everybody. But to shorten things, by everybody, I mean all the ninja

Jay: Okay...okay...KAI FACE IT YOU'LL NEVER BE THE FUCKING POWERFUL NINJA YOU THINK YOU ARE! ZANE JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SMART MOUTH EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE! LLOYD YOUR ASS WOULD BE GRASS IF IT WASN'T FOR US! AND COLE...**_COLE_**...

Swords: I'm frightened

Ratchet: So am I

Jay *Gets in Cole's face* _**You stay away from my girl you motha-fucking piece of Earth shit**_

Cole: 0_0 Mommy

Clank: *Hides under chair*

Swords: Oh way to go Jay, you scared Clank! Ratchet get him out from under there while I handle the next dare

Ratchet: Come on pal *Grabs Clank* Come on...come on...COME ON! He's gotta good grip!

Swords: Hm...*pulls out Celebi toy* Clank look, your Celebi toy

Clank: Prove it!

Swords: *Squeaks toy*

Clank Yay! *Grabs toy and sits back down* *Squeak squeak squeak* Hehehehe!

Sensei: No! Why did you give it back to him?!

Swords: Ehehe. Next dare is for Zane. Throw Frank out the window!

Frank: What?!

Zane: *Grabs Frank*

Everyone: THROW! THE! DIRECTOR!

Zane: *Throws Frank out the window*

Everyone: WHOOOOOOOO!

Swords: That was...that was beautiful *sniff* Last dare of the episode is for Cole

Cole: 0_0 Imma...Imma kinda scarred over here...

Swords: Well too bad bitch *Pulls out sword* cause we gotta fight!

Cole: *Throws chair and starts running*

Swords: HIYA MO-FO! *slices chair in half and catches Cole*

Cole: AH! Get away from me!

Swords: Where you goin' buddy? We gonna have a party! *Grabs Cole and kicks him in the nuts*

Cole: *High pitched voice* AAAHHH! OWWEE! *Falls to the ground*

...

...

...

...

Frank: *Comes running into the studio dressed as a referee* Sorry sorry sorry sorry *Gets on the floor next to Cole* 1, 2, 3!

_DING DING DING!_

Ratchet: *Covers his ears* AH! When the hell did that bell get there?

Swords: I think it first appeared in episode 19. ALRIGHTY THEN looks like we're done here. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Jay: You know, you always say 'this is Amberdiamondswords' but you're not. The author is Amberdiamondswords, you're just Swords.

Swords: ...Educate him!

Clank: Firing "To Kill a Mockingbird"! *Fires book launcher*

Jay: *Hit by book* OW! THE KNOWLEDGE! IT HURTS!

Swords: Ehehe...ah this show is gonna be great

* * *

**HailsStorm and IceFreak101, I'm gonna save your dares for next episode (Cause you sent in A LOT)**

**Hey, someone told me that the Antasma theme from Mario and Luigi Dream Team would make a good theme for Swords. I dunno, what do you guys think? I'll leave a link to it on the bottom of my profile. **

**Make sure to leave a dare/truth while picking up your complementary toasters! **

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	3. Chapter 3: Clanky Potter

*Swords, Ratchet, and Clank are watching viral videos*

Swords: Okay...there is no way that someone can use a Slip and Slide to ramp themselves into the air and land in a pool 300 feet away

Clank: It is logically impossible

Ratchet: Meh, ya' never know

Swords: Yes I do, that dude it defying the laws of gravity

Ratchet: So what? We do it all the time! *Hover in the air* See?

Swords: That's because we're in a fan fiction *snaps fingers and Ratchet falls to the ground*

Ratchet: Ow my hippocampus!

Swords: Ehehe

Ratchet: MEH! I can pull off a stunt like that easily!

Clank: No you can't

Ratchet: Watch me

**-At the Grand Canyon-**

Swords: Don't do it dude, you're gonna fail

Ratchet: *In a giant slingshot* Shut up!

Clank: I thought that it was you who is supposed to be doing the stupid stuff?

Sword: Well, out motto death and destruction all around, I guess that means stupidity too

Ratchet: Alright, I set up a kiddie pool 500 yards from here, now I'm gonna back up in this slingshot and fly to-*Trips and sets off slingshot* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Flies down into the canyon*

Swords: ...

Clank: ...

Swords: ...

Camera crew: ...

Swords: ...You wanna go down there and get him?

Clank: No

Swords: You wanna just leave him down there so he can learn his lesson?

Clank: Yes

Swords: You wanna go home and watch Harry Potter?

Clank: Okay

Swords: Which Harry Potter's do you wanna watch?

Clank: ...Prisoner of Azkaban...Goblet of Fire...Order of the Phoenix...and both Deathly Hallows

Swords: Alright, let's go

*Leaves with Clank*

Ratchet: ...I'm in a lot of pain here! Get me out of here! HELLO?!

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here-

Jay: You're not Amberdiamondswords! Amberdiamondswords is the author! You are just Swords!

Swords: ...*Fires book launcher*

Jay: *Book to da' face* OW!

Swords: Face ma' Harry Potter!

Clank: Stupefy!

Swords Ehehe, now let's try this again. Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ra-*Sees that Ratchet isn't there* Where's Ratchet?

Clank: In the Grand Canyon. You never made him teleport back here

Swords: ...Aw fuck

**-At the Grand Canyon-**

Ratchet: *Still in the canyon* Help! Anyone! Lombax in distress!

**-Back at the studio-**

Clank: Is there anyway you can bring him back?

Swords: *Pulls out a book that says Harry Potter Wiki* There's nothing in here that says I can!

Clank: Have you tried anything that's NOT Harry Potter?

Swords: ...I don't understand what you're saying

Clank: *Facepalm*

Swords: Well, looks like no Ratchet today! Let's get on with the dares...but first *Loads Harry Potter Wiki and fires it*

Camera guy: *Book to da' face* OWWW!

Swords: Ooh, sorry Jerry! Alright, here's what I'm gonna do, we have A LOT of dares so I'm just gonna get some Speed Daring goin' on. that measn we're gonna speed through all the quick and easy ones. Ready...set...GO! *Throws dare cards* GO GO GO!

Mindroid: Heh-heh *Kicks Kai in the nuts*

Kai: OW YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-

**NEXT**

Swords: Alright, let's get make out dares outta the way! *Covers Clank's eyes*

Clank: No! Only Ratchet gets to do that!

Swords: Well we both wear gloves so pretend that I'm Ratchet!

Cole: *Makes out with Shiro (IceFreak101's OC)*

Zane: *Makes out with Pixal*

Nya: *Makes out with Cole*

Swords: I have the most uncomfortable feeling right now

**NEXT**

Swords: Stupefy MO-FO! *Grabs and taser and tasers Jay*

Jay: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

**NEXT**

Misako: Kicks Wu in the nuts

Sensei: MY FAMILY JEWELS!

**NEXT**

Swords: Alright boys, grab your ammo!

Overlord: *Grabs General Cryptor*

Garmadon: *Grabs Lloyd*

Clank: *Grabs Jay*

Jay: Aw what? I get the robot?

Swords: Ready...aim...fi-

Garmadon: *throws Lloyd out the window*

Swords: Ahahaha, I didn't say fire

Garmadon: Damn it!

Swords: Ehehe...FIRE!

Overlord: *throws Cryptor out the window*

Clank: *throws Jay out the window*

**NEXT **

Skales: This dare show is ridiculous *slaps Pythor on the arm lightly*

Pythor: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! *Slaps Skales*

Skales: *Slaps Pythor*

Pythor and Skales: *slap fight*

**END OF SPEED DARING**

Swords: *Plops down in chair* Whoo, that was a lot of dares. How many do we have left? We gotta be almost done by now

Clank: 5 dares and 3 truths

Swords: ...Aw fuck this is gonna be a long episode. I'm sure that Ratchet wouldn't mind waiting though

**-At the Grand Canyon-**

Ratchet: *Still in the canyon* Hello? I'm very hungry right now! I know that there's a rule about dropping stuff into the canyon but if drop some Taco Bell I think I can help you with the fine you have to pay! Maybe a Doritos Locos Taco, some Cinnabon Bites and a Moutain Dew Baja Blast? Anyone? PLEASE!

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: Next dare is for Kai, you have to ride Twilight

Kai: OH COME ON!

Swords: Boy, don't you 'oh come on' me! Get on the dragon before I make ya'!

Kai: Meh mehmeh meh meh mehmeh mehmeh *Get on Twilight* So are we just gonna fly out the window or-

Twilight: *Flies through the roof*

Frank: Hey! Kai, you're going to pay for that!

Kai: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Swords: We can't afford to take any more money out of the DDS budget! So tough luck hothead! ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Cyrus

Cyrus: Oh joy, my first dare!

Swords: You have to stand-

Cyrus: *In a wheelchair*

Swords: ...You have to go to the top of a cliff and jump-

Cyrus: *In a wheelchair*

Swords: ...Roll off of it

Cyrus: But how do I get all the way up on a-

Clank: Stupefy! *Snaps fingers*

Cyrus: *Appears on a cliff* AH! Oh...well it is a nice view from up here-*rolls off the side* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Crashes into the ground* OOWWWWWW! Well...actually that wasn't as bad as I thought...who are you?

Ratchet: Ratchet...the co-host?

Cyrus: Doesn't ring a bell

Ratchet: ...Well your memory just cost you some Taco Bell

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: Oh great, now we have two people stuck in the Grand Canyon

Clank: Not necessarily, Cyrus was told that he could ride on Slushy

Cyrus: *Flies through the window on Slushy* WOOO! This beats spider legs by a LONG shot!

Clank: Did you bring Ratchet back?

Cyrus: Who?

Clank: *facepalm*

Swords: Clank, stop facepalming or else you're gonna hurt your cute little face! ANYWAY next dare is for Misako, you have to run a marathon!

Misako: There's no scroll saying that I-

Swords: *Grabs scrolls and chucks them out the window* There, now those scrolls can't tell you what to do anymore. Now get to the starting line!

**-At the Diamond County marathon-**

Everyone: *In the announcer booth*

Swords: Alright everyone I want a good clean race, you hear me? That means no dirt or mud throwing, but you can use weapons, spikes, fireworks, or however the hell you wanna win. *Leans back in chair* Well, this doesn't seem like such a bad dare

Misako: *Takes off sweat jacket*

Everyone: ...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Swords: It's like looking at a yellow prune wearing a sports bra! And there's no spell for fixin' that!

Sensei: Oh baby...

Garmadon: ...*punches Sensei*

Swords: Alright alright, let's hope that I can keep my lunch in while I do this. On your marks...get set...GO! *Throws up*

Clank: Eeeew!

Swords: Ugh...oh god...that sucked...ugh-hey look a french fry...

Clank: Don't eat it!

Swords: Awwww

Misako: *Gasping and wheezing* Whoo, must've ran a few miles by now

Swords: Nope, you're about three feet from the starting line...I don't think you're cut our for this you're like 800 years old!

Misako: -_-

Swords: Ehehe...it's funny because she's old. ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Nya, you have to take Clank's toy away

Nya: Okay *Grabs Clank's toy*

Clank: No

Nya: Give it

Clank: No

Nya: Give it!

Clank: No!

Nya: Come on, let me do my dare

Clank: No

Nya: Just...give it...to me *Takes toy away*

Clank: Give it back!

Nya: Nope

Clank: Meh...eh...eh eh...*Starts crying*

Nya: Oh...oh don't do that

Clank: T-T

Nya: Don't do that

Clank: T-T

Nya: Knock it off!

Swords: No, yelling at him will only make it worse!

Clank: T-T Meh...meh eh...meh

Nya: ...Okay okay! You can have it back! *Gives toy back*

Clank: Meh...eh...eh?

Nya: Feel better?

Swords: You just screwed yourself over

Nya: What do you mean?

Clank: STUPEFY! *Squeaks toy and Nya is blown out the window*

Everyone: 0_0

Swords: Harry Potter in yo' face bitches! *high fives Clank...I mean low five because he's short and Swords is standing up and-OH WHATEVER!* Let's move on to the truths shall we? First one is for Nya. Just tell us straight up: Jay or Cole?

Nya: I picked Cole!

Jay: ... *Starts crying* Meh eh...meh meh eeeh...meeeh

Clank: ...*Gives toy to Jay*

Jay: Meeeh *squeak* eh eh meh *squeak* meeeh eh eh eh *squeak*

Swords: Even I'm a NyaxCole shipper (DON'T KILL ME!) Next truth is for Jay, how does it feel to have Nya snatched by a much more handsome and civil guy like Cole?

Jay: Was the question in those exact words

Swords: I may have improvised. Now answer the question!

Jay: ...It feels like when you're snuggled up in your blankets on a winter's night, then having those blankets ripped away from you leaving you in the cold.

Swords: ...Hm? What was that? I wasn't listening

Jay: Meeeeeeeeh -_-

Swords: Ehehe, last truth is for Clank. Why do you like blowing up people with your rocket launcher?

Clank: Because it shows that even the most adorable things can be deadly with the right tools...and I like 'boom' sound! Hehehehehehe!

Swords: Clank, you are so adorable that I don't think it's legal

Clank: Thank you

Swords: Well, looks like we're done here. this is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Clank: Hmm...it feels like we're forgetting something

Swords: Yeah...I do to...OH WELL! Let's watch more Harry Potter movies!

Clank: Yaay!

**-At the Grand Canyon-**

Ratchet: *STILL in the canyon* HELLO?! I'm still DOWN HERE! The show should be over by now! Bring me back please!

Random person: *Accidentally drops food into the canyon*

Ratchet: AH! Oh thank god, food! I thought I'd never-ARBY'S?! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

**Me and my older brother watched a Harry Potter movie marathon on ABC Family and that put me in a Harry Potter mood**

**Lya200 and LuckyVeenom, I am saving your dares for next chapter**

**HailsStorm I am saving a few more of your dares for next chapter as well**

**Make sure to leave a dare/truth while you pick up your complementary toasters!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	4. Chapter 4: Pie Bombs

Ratchet: *Looking at his watch* Come on, come on

Swords: I GOOOT IIIIT!

Ratchet: HURRY UP! JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!

Swords: I can't just do that, I need to make it cool!

Clank: Yell something when you jump!

Swords: Alright! *Runs towards the window and jumps* I REALLY HAVE TO POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! *Falls to the ground*

Ratchet and Clank: *Wince*

Swords: OW! AW SON OF A *censored* THAT HURT LIKE A *censored* KICKING A *censored* WITH A BUCKET OF *censored* AND MORGAN FREEMAN DOING A *censored* WITH A *censored* ON A FRIDAY!

Ratchet: ...Swords are you alright?

Swords: Yeah, I'm fine

Clank: Did you get it?

Swords: *Holds up Kai's diary* I did

Ratchet: Eeeeh! Let's go read it!

Swords: TO THE SWORDS MOBILE!

...

...

...

Swords: *Walks into the Swords Mobile and drives away from Kai's house*

Ratchet: I didn't even know Kai had a house

Swords: Neither did I

**-At the studio-**

Ratchet: Alright, let's read this mo-fo!

Clank: Though this is in violation of Kai's privacy, I will enjoy hearing his personal secrets

Swords: ...*Hugs Clank* Alright, let's see...page one: "Dear Diary"-oh god, what is he? A nine year old girl?

Ratchet: That's what I've been thinking

Swords: ...Okay, moving on. "Dear Diary, today I made a sandwich for my sister. It had bread, fish, chocolate sauce, spaghetti, ground meat, and something I found on the bottom of my shoe. She must've really liked it because she ran off and told Mom and Dad after she took a bite. Then she went into the bathroom for a little while."

Ratchet: ...

Clank: ...

Swords: ...Take away the thing he found on his shoe and I would eat that sandwich

Ratchet: That's exactly what I was thinking

Swords: Alright, let's read something from recent years...ah! Here we go. "Dear Diary, today I met a cute girl at a gas station. I showed her how hot I was by eating the spiciest snack they had at the convenient store. Then I blew a heart shaped smoke ring in her face. But then Pixal just HAD to call me, and she got the wrong idea and threw a slushy in my face. Then I strolled off in my fabulous car, knowing that she had missed out on one sexy guy."

Ratchet and Clank: ...

Swords, Ratchet, and Clank: ...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Swords: One...one sexy guy! AHAHAHAHA!

Ratchet: Fabulous car! HAHAHAA!

Clank: Maybe she threw the slushy in his face because she did not think he was hot, she thought he was cool

Swords and Ratchet: ...AHAHAHAHAHA!

Swords: Ahaha...ahhahaha...ahh *throws Kai's diary* Let's go break into Jay's house

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Kai: *Looking out the window* Why are there construction workers out here?

Swords: I'm having some...extra work done to the studio. I think my swordians will be pleased with this vaguely new feature.

Lloyd: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that

Swords: Of course you don't! Anyway, we have a lot of dares to get through so let's get started! First dare is for Mindroid, you have to crawl around on all fours

Mindroid:*Speaks in a language no one can understand*

Ratchet: I don't know what he just said, but I'm pretty sure he's swearing at us

Swords: A tiny swearing nindroid...awesome. Now get to it shorty!

Mindroid: *More unknown language, then gets down on all fours and walks around*

Ratchet: Heh-heh, dude check this out *Stands on Mindroid's back*

Swords: Aw, I want some of that action! *Jumps on Mindroid's back* I am Swords Evelyn and I rode upon this not-so-noble steed to inform you that 87% of you will be in serious pain by the time this episode ends!

Mindroid: *Unknown language and bucks Ratchet and Swords off his back*

Ratchet: *Falls on top of Swords*

Swords: AH! POLICE! RAPE!

Ratchet: That's the third to last thing I would do to you

Swords: Th...third?

Ratchet: ...

Swords: ...MOVING ON! Next dare is for Kai, you have to eat a whole jar of peanut butter...lucky bastard you get to do it again

Kai: Heh-heh-heh *Starts eating peanut butter, then spits it out* AH! What the hell is in this stuff?

Ratchet: Peanut butter, bread, fish, chocolate sauce, spaghetti, ground meat, and something I found on the bottom of my shoe

Swords and Clank: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kai: Bread, fish, and...wait a minute...

Swords: Aw shit he's on to us. Quickly! Read the next dare!

Ratchet: Mindroid has to throw pies at everyone

Mindroid: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh

Swords: Here ya' go *Tosses bag full of pies*

Mindroid: *Throws pies at everyone (except for the hosts)*

Jay: *Licks pie off his face* Mmmmmmm, what kind of pies are these

Swords: Remember those bomb pies from that episode of SpongeBob?

Everyone: Yeah...

Swords: They're those pies

Everyone: ...Aw fuck

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

Jay: *cough* Did someone order extra smoked ninja? *Crumbles into ashes*

Swords: Mm, that would be my order! Next dare is for Pixal, you have to throw Pythor out the window. Which is great because now I can test out the new feature, but first *snaps fingers and Pythor grows legs*

Pythor: What the-what in the bloody hell happened to my tail?!

Swords: Did you not just see me snap my fingers? Honestly! Alright Pix, get to it.

Pixal: *Grabs Pythor*

Pythor: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!

Pixal: I cannot do that *throws Pythor out the window*

Pythor: Hmm, this isn't so bad...wait what in the bloody hell is tha-

_DONG!_

Pythor: ...aaahhhhhhh

Ratchet: That's the new feature? You brought the pole back?

Swords: Not exactly *Puuls out a remote and presses a red button*

Pole: *Catches on fire*

Pythor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ratchet: Ah! It's burning his-

Swords: Yep. I call it the Nut Roasting Rod

Ratchet: ...Ah because it lights on-

Swords: Yup

Ratchet: And it burns their-

Swords: Yup

Ratchet: And it's like roasting-

Swords: YES! ANYWAY next dare is for Cole. You have to hug Mindroid.

Cole: Uh...uh okay...um...*Hugs Mindroid*

Mindroid: Meeh...*Kicks Cole in the shin*

Cole: OW!

Swords: Just be glad it wasn't Clank, he would've kicked you in the stones

Clank: Hehehehehehe

Cole: ...I don't like that robot

Swords: And he doesn't like you! ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Jay, you have to fight Harry Potter

Clank: Yaaay!

Harry Potter: *Flies through the window on his broom* So, where's this blue man you were talking about?

Swords: Hold on Harry, I think Clank wants your autograph

Clank: *Holding up the DVD copy of Order of the Phoenix*

Harry: *Waves his wand and all of Clank's books and DVDs are signed*

Clank: *Jumps up and down excitedly* Hehehehehe!

Swords: Alrighty then, that's the guy you have to fight *Points to Jay*

Jay: Uh...

Harry: why should I fight him?

Swords: He works for Voldemort

Harry: I KILL YOU! AVADA KEDAVRA! *Green light comes from his hand*

Jay: AH! *Dodges it*

Harry: Avada Kedavra!

Jay: *dodges it*

Clank: Use stupefy! Use stupefy!

Harry: Stupefy!

Jay: *Blown out the window*

_DONG!_

Jay: AAAAHHHHH! MY LIGHTNING BOLTS ARE BURNIN'!

Swords: Ehehe, best renovation decision I've ever made. Next dare is for Zane, you have to hit Jay with a frying pan

Everyone: *Looks at the window*

Ratchet: Just throwing the frying pan out the window

Zane: *Throws frying pan out the window*

Everyone: ...

Swords: Wait for it...

Everyone: ...

Swords: Wait for it...

Jay: ...OW! Where the hell did this frying pan come from?! That hurt!

Swords: And boom goes the diamond-mite. ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Cole, you have to take embarrassing selfies of yourself and put them on advertisements

Cole: Aw man *Takes out phone and takes several selfies*

Ratchet: *Takes phone* We'll just put these on the right advertisement and...there

**-Several minutes later-**

*Someone knocks on the door*

Clank: How can we hear that if we're on the top floor?

*A bunch of pirates come in*

Pirate: Is this DDS Studios?

Swords: Yes it is, he's over there *Points to Cole*

Captain: All right boys, there's your target! Ready, aim, FIRE!

Pirates: *Throws pies at Cole*

Clank: ...They're the pie bomb pirates from SpongeBob aren't they?

Swords: Maybe-

_**BOOOM!**_

Ratchet: Nice explosion

Swords: Ehehe, yes it was. ANYWAY next dare is for Jay, you have to sit on Thor, my Zapdos

Thor: Gyaooooooooo!

Jay: ...Ahhh *Climbs onto Thor*

Thor: Gyaoooo...*Purrs*

Swords: Huh...a Pokémon that actually likes one of the ninja

Kai: Lucky bastard

Twilight: Chaaaaar!

Kai: ...Aw fuck

Swords: I didn't even know that she was out of Pokeball. Next dare is for the five ninja, you have to speak gibberish

Jay: vnfinvdoinvfsdvnsofncsdivnsdiovnmsonv

Swords: Oh yeah right Jay, you don't have the guts to do it

Cole: nvonosvnsdjkncjvfkvnenkncfriocnoen!

Swords: Yes Cole, he was

Zane: dwonmewoifniocniucnocoincoiaw

Swords: HA! Yeah they are

Lloyd: pwdfkjewofneonfwofneuifnewif

Swords: I'd rather push Ratchet out the window

Ratchet: What now?!

Kai: Hmm...uh...wejofheibeifbdofndifnijffckeofhwofhwohfeoh

Swords: *slaps Kai* Watch your mouth! Because you used those words at me, you get the last dare

Kai: Damn it!

Swords: You have to admit you're an idiot and jump off a cliff

Kai: Yeah right like I'm really gonna-

Swords: *Snaps fingers*

Kai: *Appears on top of a cliff* What the-FRIG! Well, might as well do the dare to get Swords offa ma' back. *Clears throat* I AM AN IDIOT! *Jumps off the cliff*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_DONG!_

Kai: MY LAVA ROCKS!

Swords: ...I had a pole installed in our jumping cliff. ALRIGHTY THEN looks like that's all we have for this episode. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: ...Wait, how did I get out of the Grand Canyon?

Swords: Ratchet, that episode is over, I don't give explanations of previous episodes.

Ratchet: Yeah but I don't even-

Swords: Ratchet...no!

Ratchet: Meh -_-

Swords: So, what to do now...let's go break into Cole's house!

Cole: WHAT?!

* * *

**Ah! another day, another completed episode of DDS 2. Sorry it took awhile, I had relatives over.**

**Also I'm going camping next week so I might not post a chapter next Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Just to let you guys know. But the fresh air and bike riding will give me time to think of new material.**

**Make sure to leave a dare/truth while you pick up your complementary toasters!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	5. Chapter 5: Battle Royale

Swords: *Playing with the Animator 3000* Let's see, what else should I make?

...

...

Swords: I know! *Spawns in a bunch of Minecraft pigs* Ehehe, this is awesome

Ratchet: *Walks into the room* Hey Swords, do you have any-*sees all the pigs*

Swords: ...What? I spawned in a bunch pigs. Go figure.

Ratchet: You know, I was thinking. If you can make things come out of a video game with that machine, can't you reverse it somehow so it can put us IN a video game?

Swords: ...Reverse? REVERSE?! You think that I can just throw a reverse switch on this futuristic piece of technology to reverse the affects?

Ratchet: Yes

Swords: ...YOU'RE A FREAKING GENIUS YOU IDIOT! VILLAGERS!

*A bunch of Minecraft Villagers enter the room*

Swords: *snaps and points to Animator 3000* Pay y'all 5 emeralds if you can put a reverse switch on this mo-fo

Villagers: YAAAAAAAY!

Clank: I'm frightened

Ratchet: HOLY SHIT WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

**-8 minutes later- **

Villager: Finished!

Swords: *Puts down her Game Informer magazine* Great, Ratchet pay the men

Ratchet: *Throws emerald out the window* There ya' go

Villagers: AAAHH! EMERALDS EMERALDS COME BACK EMERALDS! *Jumps out the window*

Swords: Those crazy sons of bitches

Clank: *Observes new switch* Will this actually work?

Swords: Doubt it, let's go! *throws switch*

*Swords, Ratchet and Clank are transported into a video game*

Swords: Huh, it really did work

Ratchet: Whoa...look at you...you look like a big badly made pixel!

Swords: Just like you!

Clank: Ouch...

Ratchet: Shut it R2-D2...wait where are we?

Swords: Well, judging by the sheep, chickens, the village over there, and the fact that everything is made of blocks. We're in-

Ratchet: Roblox?

Swords: ...*slaps Ratchet*

Ratchet: OW!

Clank: Even I admit you deserved that, we are obviously in Minecraft.

Ratchet: Meeeeeeh...that hurt

Swords: And that's gonna hurt more *Grabs Clank and runs away*

Ratchet: What's gonna hurt more?

Creeper: Tssssssssssssss

Ratchet: ...Aw fuck

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Ratchet: *Walks into the studio covered in ashes*

Swords: Hey, look who figured out how to respawn

Ratchet: I regret ever mentioning the reverse switch idea

Swords: We know you do, that's why Clank is the brains of your duo

Ratchet: Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh -_-

Swords: Boy, don't you 'meh' me! Cause we gotz dares to do, so shut yo' mehing mouth.

Ratchet: ...

Swords: ...ALRIGHTY THEN let's get to the dares!

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Swords: *Pulls out diamond sword* You wanna start that again?! Huh? HUH?! I got Mega Stones bitches, don't make me use them!

Everyone: 0_0

Swords: Alright, that's what I thought...*sniff sniff* Does anyone else smell pee?

Jay: *Shaking* Uh...no

Swords: ...ANYWAY as for the dares. Looks like today's gonna be an all out Battle Royale! Three of our eleven dares are fight dares!

Everyone: *Hides under there chairs*

Swords: Get your asses back in those chairs! I haven't even told you who's fighting who yet

Everyone: *Gets their asses back in their chairs*

Swords: Alright now, let's get the easy dares out of the way. First is Kai-

Kai: AW COME ON!

Swords: ...I was going to make this easy for you...and then you said that...boy, you just screwed yourself over

Clank: I told you that he is not a likeable character

Kai: Yeah, well neither are you

Swords: Bullcrap, everyone loves Clank because he's adorable and he can beat the living shit out of you

Clank: Hehehehehe

Swords: Also the laugh, gotta love the laugh

Ratchet: I think it's annoying

Swords: I think you're annoying. Don't make me throw you back into that game!

Ratchet: ...I'll behave

Swords: Good boy, now get to your dare Kai!

Kai: You didn't tell me what it was!

Swords: Uh...oh yeah *Reads dare card* You have to sing Counting Stars by OneRepublic...so sing the opposite of the Diamond Dare Show's theme song

Kai: Let me guess. To the mall?

Swords: Yep! *Pulls a random lever next to her seat*

Kai: What does-*Ejects from seat and flies through the roof*

Ratchet: When did you install ejector seats?

Swords: What do you think I did when I spawned in those villagers?

Ratchet: Ohhhh

**-At the mall-**

Kai: *Walking to the stage* Hey Random Guy-

Random Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Jumps out the window*

Kai: ...Why is he always here when I come to sing?

Swords: I know right? It's beyond a coincidence at this point

Kai: Alright, let's just get this over with...

_Lately I been, I been losing sleep_  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard_  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be counting stars_  
_ Yeah, we'll be counting stars_

_I see this life_  
_ Like a swinging vine_  
_ Swing my heart across the line_  
_ In my face is flashing signs_  
_ Seek it out and ye shall find_

_ Old, but I'm not that old_  
_ Young, but I'm not that bold_  
_ And I don't think the world is sold_  
_ I'm just doing what we're told_

_ I feel something so right_  
_ By doing the wrong thing_  
_ And I feel something so wrong_  
_ By doing the right thing_  
_ I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie_  
_ Everything that kills me makes me feel alive_

_Lately I been, I been losing sleep _  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard _  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be counting stars_  
_ Lately I been, I been losing sleep _  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard _  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be, we'll be counting stars_

_I feel the love_  
_ And I feel it burn_  
_ Down this river every turn_  
_ Hope is our four letter word_  
_ Make that money_  
_ Watch it burn_

_ Old, but I'm not that old_  
_ Young, but I'm not that bold_  
_ And I don't think the world is sold_  
_ I'm just doing what we're told_

_ And I feel something so wrong_  
_ By doing the right thing_  
_ I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie_  
_ Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly_

_Lately I been, I been losing sleep_  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard_  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be counting stars_  
_ Lately I been, I been losing sleep _  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard _  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be, we'll be counting stars_

_ Oh, oh, oh_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_ Everything that kills me makes me feel alive_

_Lately I been, I been losing sleep _  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard _  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be counting stars_  
_ Lately I been, I been losing sleep_  
_ Dreaming about the things that we could be_  
_ But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard_  
_ Said no more counting dollars_  
_ We'll be, we'll be counting stars_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned _

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

_Take that money_  
_ Watch it burn_  
_ Sink in the river_  
_ The lessons I learned_

Kai: Thank you!

Swords: ...Wait for it...wait for it...FIRE MO-FO'S!

Everyone: *Fires tomato catapults*

Kai: AAAAHHHHHHH! *Hit by tomato storm*

Swords: I told you that you screwed yourself over!

Kai: I have tomato in places where they should never be

Ratchet: That's gross

Swords: Yes...yes it is gross...ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Lloyd. You have to take this golf club, and get a hole in one with the Overlord in golf ball form

Overlord: WHAT?! *Turns into a golf ball* THIS IS SO DEGRADING!

Swords: That's why it's so funny! Now run along Lloyd, get a hole in one on the 18th!

Lloyd: Okay but...uh...I don't wanna pick him up

Ratchet: Clank!

Clank: Hehehe...hehehehehe *runs up and kicks the Overlord out the window*

Overlord: I DON'T LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Clank: *Waves out the window* Bye!

Lloyd: To the golf course! *Sits in chair*

Swords: EJECT MO-FO! *Pulls lever*

Lloyd: *Ejected from seat and flies through the whole in the roof*

**-At the golf course-**

Lloyd: *aiming hit shot*

...

...

...

...

Overlord: Oh will you hurry up!

Lloyd: Shut up golf ball!

Overlord: I don't have a face, but -_-

Lloyd: Alright, on three...one-THREE! *Hits Overlord with golf club*

Overlord: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Lands a couple inches away from the hole*

Lloyd: Awww...

Clank: *Runs to golf course and kicks Overlord into the hole*

Lloyd: ...HOLE IN ONE BITCHES!

**-Back at the studio-**

Ratchet: What is it with him and kicking the Overlord?

Swords: *Hugging Clank* I don't know and I don't care because it's mean, it causes pain, and he has the most adorable face in the universe. Why don't you read the next dare while I hug him some more

Ratchet: ...Alrighty then. Next dare is for Pixal, you have to sing Blue Bird by Ikimono Gakari...sounds like a Japanese song

Swords: TO GOOGLE TRANSLATE!

**-One translation later-**

**-At the mall-**

Pixal: *Walks up on stage* Um...hello everyone...

Random Guy: AAAHHH-oh wait, this one is a girl...a pretty robo girl

Swords: She's taken!

Random Guy: Oh...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Jumps out the window*

Pixal: That man may need medical attention

Swords: Nah, he'll be fine! Just sing!

Pixal: Oh, um, okay...

_You say if you could fly, _

_you'd never come back down _

_You only have eyes for that blue, blue sky_

_You've yet to learn what sadness is _

_and are just now grasping what pain is like _

_even the feeling i have for you _

_must be expressed with words_

_As you awaken from a dream _

_into an unknown world _

_Spread your wings and take flight_

_You say if you could fly, _

_you'd never come back down _

_You aimed for those white, white clouds_

_You know if you can just make it through, _

_you'll find what you seek_

_so keep trying to break free, _

_to that blue, blue sky _

_That blue, blue sky _

_That blue, blue sky_

_With a sound like all politeness was gone, _

_the rusted old window broke look, _

_your so sick of looking at that cage _

_that you're throwing it away _

_without ever looking back again_

_that throbbing beat takes your breath away _

_and you kick open that window and take off_

_You said that if you ran, _

_you would obtain it you're tempted by that distant, _

_distant voice it grasps your far too dazzling hand_

_untill you pursue that blue, blue sky_

_i understand that you are falling, _

_but continue to follow the light_

_You say if you could fly, _

_you would never come back down _

_You search for those white, white clouds_

_if you break through, _

_you'll know you'll find it_

_so try untill you break free to that blue, blue sky _

_That blue, blue sky _

_That blue, blue sky_

Zane: *sniff* That's my girl!

Swords: Ready the catapults!

Zane: *Grabs Swords by the jacket collar* YOU BETTER NOT OR ELSE I SHOVE THAT SWORD OF YOURS UP WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!

Swords: ...Clank! Shin shot!

Clank: *Kicks Zane in the shin*

Zane: OW! *Drops Swords*

Swords: *Hugs Clank* Good boy I love you! Now, let's get the truths we have out of the way. First two are for...me! How would I react if Lloyd died and if I was stuck on an island who would I eat first? One, I would cry but not as hard as when Zane sacrificed himself. And two, I would eat Lloyd first because he's a balance taste of all four ninja.

Lloyd: That's...that's disturbing

Swords: Thank you. The other truth is for Pythor. Out of all the ninja, who do you dislike most?

Pythor: Oh, I say the blue one. He's so annoying!

Jay: HEY!

Swords: The truth hurts Jay. Now then, let us begin, THE BATTLE ROYALE!

Everyone: *Hides under the chair*

Swords: HEY! Asses, chairs, NOW!

Everyone: *Gets back in their chair*

Swords: Now then, the first battle shall be...Dareth!

Dareth: *Screams like a little girl* WHY ME?! Who do I have to fight?

Swords: Against a ninja of Ratchet's choice

Ratchet: Ooooh, I get to pick! Hmm...who has Dareth screwed over the most?

Ninja: *Raises hands*

Ratchet: ...Let's go with Kai

Kai: Yes!

Dareth: Uh...oh-no I think I left my faucet running at home! Let me just step out...*Starts running away*

Swords: He's lying! I broke into his house this morning and his faucet was off!

Ratchet: Awww, you broke into a house without us?

Swords: No, I brought Clank

Ratchet: *Looks down at Clank*

Clank: Uh...uh...hehehehehehe...hehehe...hehe...we did, we did break into Dareth's house

Swords: Kai! Get him!

Kai: *Uses spinjitzu to catch up with Dareth* Where you goin' browny? We gonna have a party! *Starts beating Dareth*

Swords: *Hols up money* No Swords! This fight isn't worth it...*Throws a few singles* Shut up and take a small amount of my money!

Dareth: AAAHHH! I surrender!

Swords: WINNER! KAI!

Kai: YEAAAAH BOYYYYYYY!

Swords: Next match in the Battle Royale: Pythor versus a ninja of Clank's choice!

Pythor: Oh dear, R2-D2 gets to pick for me

Clank: Why does everyone keep calling me that?

Swords: Because you're a robot and your video franchise reminds everyone of Star Wars...but everyone stop calling him that or else Imma punch ya' in the throat. Now, who do you choose?

Clank: Hmm...I choose...Lloyd!

Cole: Lucky bastard!

Lloyd: Why me?

Clank: I figured that this would be a nice way of getting revenge on Pythor for betraying you in "Never Trust a Snake" and for saving the Overlord

Lloyd: ...You're right! Come here snake boy! You're going down!

Pythor: Very well, engarde!

Lloyd: *fires green flames*

Pythor: AH! Not engarde! NOT ENGARDE! *Slithers away*

Lloyd: *Fires an ice blast*

Pythor: *Becomes frozen* Oh bugga...

Swords: WINNER! LLOYD!

Lloyd: Oh yeah! That's right! I rule!

Swords: And now, the final match! A two on one match! Cole versus Voltz and Clank

Cole: ...Aw fuck

Clank: Yaay! Beat up Cole time!

Cole: ...You know what? I'm not scared! I'm not! I'm bigger than the two of you, I am dominant! And this Alpha Male is gonna kick your little asses! and I'm gonna start with YOU! *charges and attempts to punch Clank*

Clank: *Stops Cole's fist*

Cole: ...Well shit

Clank: Looks like this Alpha Male is about to be dethroned. Voltz, shock him!

Voltz: Pika pika! PikaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Uses Thunderbolt*

Cole: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Clank: Kung Fu in your face! *Kicks Cole into the wall*

Cole: *Falls to the ground and coughs up smoke* Uuugh...I...I... X_X

Swords: WINNERS! CLANK AND VOLTZ!

Clank and Voltz: *High five*

Swords: Mommy's little murderers...*sniff* I'm so proud of them. Well, looks like that's all we have for this episode! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Cole: *Coughs up more smoke* I think...I think I need a hospital

Swords: Of course Cole, I already called an ambulance

Cole: Okay...can some one help me up?

Swords: Yep *Picks Cole up* Now let's head to the door...*Tosses Cole out the window*

Cole: Why didn't I see that COMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING?! *Lands on an ambulance*

Swords: Huh...there actually was an ambulance

* * *

**While I writing this, I found myself looking at pictures of Clank...I left some of their links on the bottom of my Profile (If you don't know what Clank looks like...these would probably come in handy)**

**Make sure to leave a dare/truth while you pick up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, singing off! **


	6. Chapter 6: Dat Cinnamon Challenge Tho

*Outside Swords' palace*

Swords: Ah, what I beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I get to spend the pre-show bonding calmly with my two best friends...*cocks shotgun* PULL!

Ratchet: *Throws DVD copy of 'Rango'*

Swords: *Shoots DVD*

Ratchet: YEAH MO-FO!

Clank: *Hold up a sign that says 8.5*

Swords: Nothin' like shooting terrible movies, an activity that'll never get old...

Ratchet: ...I'm bored

Swords: So am I...let's do a singing montage!

Clank: Of what song?

Swords: How about a sing that 87% of the swordians won't know?

Ratchet: ...We're going to sing Diggy Diggy Hole, aren't we?

Swords: When I'm not praising Tobuscus, I'm praising the Yogscast! Boys, grab your pickaxes, we're gonna dig a hole! But first *turns Clank into LC*

LC: I'm back bitches!

Swords: No you're not

LC: ...Awwww

**(Insert Diggy Diggy Hole by YOGSCAST)**

**-Awesome beginning instrumental-**

**Swords:** Brothers of the mine rejoice!  
**R & LC:** Swing, swing, swing with me  
**Swords:** Raise your pick and raise your voice!  
**R & LC:** Sing, sing, sing with me  
**Swords:** Down and down into the deep  
Who knows what we'll find beneath?  
Diamonds, rubies, gold and more  
Hidden in the mountain's core

**All three:** Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone  
Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home  
Skin made of iron, steel in our bones  
To dig and dig makes us free  
Come on brothers sing with me!

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole  
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

**Swords:** The sunlight will not reach this low  
**R & LC:** Deep, deep in the mine  
**Swords:** Never seen the blue moon glow  
**R & LC:** Dwarves won't fly so high  
**Swords:** Fill a glass and down some meat!  
Stuff your bellies at the feast!  
Stumble home and fall asleep  
Dreaming in our mountain keep

**All three:** Born underground, grown inside a rocky womb  
The earth is our cradle; the mountain shall become our tomb  
Face us on the battlefield; you will meet your doom  
We do not fear what lies beneath  
We can never dig too deep

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole  
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole  
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

**-Instrumental-**

Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone  
Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home  
Skin made of iron, steel in our bones  
To dig and dig makes us free  
Come on brothers sing with me!

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole  
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole  
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole  
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

Ratchet: ...I bet a lot of people are confused right now

Swords: It's the Diamond Dare Show Ratchet, what the hell do you expect?

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Lloyd: Uh...any particular reason that you're covered in dirt and wearing Viking hats?

Swords; They're DWARF hats! Get it right!

Lloyd: Uh-huh, and why is gray kitty here?

LC: My name's LC! And I'm a gray Lombax, not kitty! Lombaxes are not cats

Ratchet: THANK YOU!

Swords: Quiet kitty bitch *snaps fingers and LC turns back into Clank*

Clank: *Dwarf hat covering his face* I can not see

Ratchet: *Takes out a bell ringing stick*

Swords; Ratchet, if you do what I think you're about to do, Imma cram that stick down your throat. And when you poop it out, Imma shove it back up your ass.

Ratchet: 0_0

Everyone else: 0_0

Clank: ...Do it Ratchet. DO IT!

Ratchet: No!

Everyone: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

Ratchet: No! No! and no!

Everyone: Awwwww...

Swords: Aw come on Ratchet, don't ruin everyone's fun

Ratchet: -_-

Swords: Ehehe...you're my best friend as well as my bitch. ANYWAY let us begin the dares shall we?

Kai: Shall we not?

Swords: ...*Throws a brick at Kai*

Kai: OW!

Swords: No! No! Bad fire ninja! You don't get a say in this!

Kai: I think I'm bleeding

Swords: You probably are. Now, without anymore interruptions, first dare is for Cole. Throw Ratchet out the window!

Ratchet: What?! No, no get away from me!

Cole: *Grabs Ratchet* This is for not doing it! *Throws him out the window*

Ratchet: I'M A NYA AND JAY SHIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Cole: OH THAT'S IT! *Reaches out the window, grabs Ratchet, and pulls him back up*

Ratchet: Oh thank you, I-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Get's thrown out window again*

Swords: Whoa! Look at Cole going for a twofer!

Cole: I'm the greatest!

Nya: That's my man!

Jay: *angry tone* Mmmmmmmmm...

Swords: The author has the right to make the characters say that...we all ship people differently...ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Nya, you have to kiss Jay then kick him straight in the lightning bolts

Jay: Wait, I get to kiss Nya? YAHOOOOO!

Nya: Alright, let's just get this over with *Kisses Jay*

Jay: ...Oh baby

Nya: *Kicks Jay in the nuts*

Jay: ...*high pitched voice* ...Oh not baby *Falls to the ground*

Swords: I think Jay's turned into Howard Wolowitz (yes, I watch The Big Bang Theory). Alright, next dare is for Cole, I have to show you Voltz's evolution

Cole: His...his what now?

Swords: His evolution, what he turns into when you evolve him

Cole: He...He has another form? He gets bigger?

Swords: Yep, see for yourself *shows Cole a picture of a Raichu*

Cole: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs through the wall, leaving a Cole shaped hole*

Frank: Dang it Cole, that's coming out of your paycheck!

Swords: No Frank, that's coming out of YOUR paycheck

Frank: ...*Breaks clipboard*

Swords: Ehehe...ah I like takin' his money. ANYWAY next dare is for Pixal and Zane...awwwww you have to pretend that Mindroid is your child

Mindroid: *Speaks in an unknown language*

Pixal: You watch your mouth young man!

Mindroid: *Flips Pixal off*

Zane: UH! That's it! Pixal, you know what to do

Pixal: *Grabs Mindroid and spanks him*

Mindroid: *More unknown language*

Swords: Cover Clank's eyes

Ratchet: *Covers Clank's eyes*

Clank: *Tries to pulls Ratchet's hand off*

Ratchet: No, bad robot! No watching!

Swords: I have the most uncomfortable feeling right now. Don't forget Pixal, you were making out with that guy a few episodes ago!

Pixal: ...

Swords: Yeah...think about that...

Everyone: ...

Swords: ...

Everyone: ...

Ratchet: ...I think this is the part when you say "alrighty then" in all caps

Swords: Oh, it is? Well in that case...ALRIGHTY THEN!

Ratchet: There ya' go

Swords: Next dare is for Jay and Kai...boys...IT'S TIME TO GET DRUNK!

Jay and Kai: ...YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**-3 kegs of beer later-**

Kai: *In almost gibberish* Hey, s-say whatever you want but...but I think that the cyborgs...th-the cyborgs will rise up and-and take..ya' know...take over our beaver dams and use them for EVIL!

Jay: Ah...I-I know I totally and I bet...I bet that they'll take...they'll take all of our cheese danishes! They're gonna take all of our cheese danishes!

Kai: All of our cheese danishes?

Jay: ALL OF THEM!

Ratchet: This is entertaining beyond legal limits

Clank: Indeed it is!

Jay: ...That...that toaster just talked...and so did the cat thing...

Kai: I think...I think it's Hello Kitty's cousin that she doesn't like to talk about

Ratchet: HEY!

Kai: Th-that's his name! His name is Hey Kitty!

Ratchet: ...Just make them do the rest of the fucking dare

Swords: Alrighty then, now that they're all nice and wasted...*pulls out sword* Time to fight these mo-fo's

Jay: Dude...that pole is made of shiny things!

Swords: SHINY THINGS IN YOUR FACE! *Smacks Jay with sword*

Jay: *Falls to the floor*

Kai: Ha, he fell to the gravity thingy, and now he made friends with the floor!

Swords: That's right Kai...*smacks Kai with sword*

Kai: *Falls to the ground* ...I don't like the shiny pole

Swords: And it doesn't like you! *sniffs the air* Oh god, I think Jay voided his bowls, someone get a towel and clean that up while we do the last dare.

Ratchet: What is the last dare?

Swords: We all have to do the cinnamon challenge

Everyone: ...Aw fuck

Swords: Hey, I have to do it too, so for once I get to feel your pain

Everyone: Oh...yay!

Swords: ...Imma kill all you bitches one day. Alright, let's head to the kitchen

**-In the kitchen-**

Everyone: *Has a spoonful of cinnamon*

Swords: Alright everyone...one...two...th-

Garmadon: *Eats cinnamon* ...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! *coughs up cinnamon dust*

Swords: Ah! Got you again Garmadon!

Garmadon: *Cough cough* YOU SUCK!

Swords: Ehehe...THREE!

Everyone: *Eats cinnamon* ...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Zane: HEAT LEVELS RISING! MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION!

Lloyd: It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's on fire!

Ratchet: *Throws up*

Kai: *Looking at spoon, still drunk* What...what is this stuff?

Jay: *Still drunk* It's magic man...you blow it into your face and you...you become magical

Kai: That...that's fucking awesome...let's try it!

Jay: Do it! Make me...make me Elsa! Make me Elsa!

Kai: *Blows cinnamon in Jay's face*

Jay: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF ELSA! OWWEEEE! STINGY!

Kai: Ahahaha, magic is painful!

Swords: Hm...that wasn't so bad

Ratchet: Fuck you!

Swords: Hey! No cursing! Bad lombax! Now resume your vomiting

Ratchet: ALRIGHT! *throws up*

**-Back on stage-**

Swords: Why is everyone moaning in pain?

Clank: I do not know. I don't have taste buds so the challenge was not a problem for me. In fact, I don't even have an internal digestive system *Opens chest compartment and cinnamon comes out*

Swords: ...Huh...neat. ANYWAY that's all we have for this episode! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off! Now, while you guys are busy being in pain, Imma go to the bathroom for a minute *Leaves*

Clank: *Looks at Ratchet* Does it really hurt that bad?

Ratchet Yes...yes it does...real bad

Clank: Oh...I wonder what's taking Swords so long?

Swords: *Puking in the toilet* DAMN YOU CINAMMON CHALLENGE!

* * *

**I will never take that challenge for as long as I live**

**For my When Dimensions Collide II readers, I found a cover photo for the story, so check it out when you have the time (LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT CLANK IN HIS CUTE LITTLE HAT!)**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	7. Chapter 7: Much Mmmmm, Little Wow

**-At an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert-**

Swords: Ah, nothing like sitting at a concert for a band that children today don't know about

Ratchet: Yeah...why did I come again?

Swords: Because Clank didn't want to

Ratchet: Uh...oh yeah

_All the love in the world can't be gone  
all the need to be loved can't be wrong  
All the records are playing  
and my heart keeps saying  
"boogie wonderland, wonderland"  
dance boogie wonderland  
dance boogie wonderland_

Ratchet: Dude, dude, Party Flare! Party Flare!

Swords: Totes ma goats Party Flare! *Pulls out a flare gun and fires it* WHOOOOO! BOOGIE WONDERLAND BITCHES!

*Flare hits stage and the stage catches on fire*

Audience: AAAHHHHH! *run away*

Swords: ...Maybe we shouldn't have brought the party flare

Ratchet: Yeah...we should run for our lives now

Swords: Right! *Starts running*

Ratchet: Wait! We should leave a note or something saying what we did

Swords: Right again! *Pulls out a sticky note and writes something* alright, TO THE SWORDS MOBILE!

*Swords and Ratchet jump into the Swords Mobile and drive away*

**-After fire is put out-**

Police Officer: Well, we don't know who's responsible for the fire, but we'll find out!

Police Officer #2: Mitch, we found this in the ashes *Hands Mitch a piece of paper*

Officer Mitch: *Reads note*

_I shot the flare that caused the fire. I will pay for all the damage._

_-Frank Eisenhower...AHAHAHAHAHA! Eisenhower!_

Officer Mitch: ...Seems legit. Let's go.

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Clank: Why are you and Ratchet covered in ash and smell like fire?

Swords: Because...uh...because...we were wrestling near a campsite and we fell into the bonfire

Ratchet: Yeah, that's totes what happened

Clank: O...kay then...

Ratchet: STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!

Clank: 0_0 *Squeaks Celebi toy in fear*

Swords: Ratchet! Down boy! He wasn't asking anymore questions!

Ratchet: ...Oh

Swords: Yeah...you feel stupid now?

Ratchet: ...Yes

Swords: Good boy...

Everyone: ...

Kai: ...Are you gonna dare someone or are you just gonna sit there?

Swords: I think I'm just gonna sit here

Kai: Swords!

Swords: Alright Kai alright...don't be such a bitch

Clank: Yeah Kai

Kai: You be quiet

Swords: *Stand up in chair* Nuh-uh, no one tells my little Clanky to be quiet! Boy, you goin' first for dares!

Kai: Oh god damn it!

Ratchet: Ha! and both of your dares are dual dares too! So you draggin' two other ninja with ya'!

Ninja: *Looks angrily at Kai*

Kai: ...What?

Swords: For your first dare, you and Lloyd have to watch My Little Pony for five hours

Kai: ...I should've never open my mouth

Clank: Yes you should have. Now you can work on keeping it closed.

Kai: *angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmm

Clank: Hehehehehehe! *Squeaks toy*

Lloyd: WELL WE BETTER DO THIS DARE OH GOD IT'S GONNA BE SO HORRIBE COME ON KAI! *Drags Kai into the other room*

Everyone: 0_0

Ratchet: ...I think Lloyd's a brony

Swords: YA' THINK?!

**-5 hours later-**

Kai: *Comes crawling out of the other room* So much friendship...so much ponies...so much...so much...*Puts head down*

Clank: Where is Lloyd?

Swords: HEY LLOYD! GET OUT HERE! YOUR DARE IS OVER!

Lloyd: FUCK YOU!

Swords: Well then! I guess he's good for the rest of the episode. ALRIGHTY THEN Kai, your next dare is to fight Jay...your almost brother in law until he was replaced by Cole

Jay: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Kai: Alright, alright, let's get this over with

Ratchet: *Whispers to Jay* I heard Kai say earlier that he didn't think you and Nya were gonna make it. He's a hardcore Cole and Nya shipper

Jay: WHAT?! KAI I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS!

Kai: ...Oh what now? Sorry, I wasn't listeni-*Tackled by Jay*

Jay: *Beating Kai up* Me and Nya were meant for each other! Not Nya and Cole! I don't care who ships them! They're wrong!

Swords: No they're not!

Jay: Yes they are!

Kai: No they're not!

Jay: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! *Throws Kai out the window*

Everyone: 0_0

Nya: ...I still prefer Cole

Jay: Damn it

Swords and Cole: *Fist bump*

Ratchet: Meh...I'm a Nya and Jay shipper

Swords: Quiet you! Let's just continue with the dares. Next dare is for Cole, you get to kick Ratchet where the sun don't shine...Zane says that once and people are using it in their dares.

Ratchet: *Jumps behind chair*

Cole: Here kitty kitty kitty

Ratchet: How 'bout no, you crazy earth bending bastard!

Cole: *Grabs Ratchet and pulls him over the chair*

Ratchet: *Scared cat meow*

Cole: This is for shipping Jay and Nya! *Kicks Ratchet in the butt*

Ratchet: OW my ass! He's wearing steel toed boots too!

Clank: What did I just witness?

Swords: Someone gettin' their ass kicked...literally. ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Jay, you have to slap and kiss Nya

Jay: Well, I'll kiss her, but do I have to slap her?

Swords: Yes...yes you do. Or we can have Clank do it. He's made of metal so it'll just hurt even more!

Clank: Let me do it! Let me do it!

Jay: No! I'll do it.

Clank: Aww...

Jay: I'm sorry Nya *slaps Nya then makes out with her*

Cole: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmm...

Swords: Lots of mad people saying 'mmmm' this chapter isn't there. Well, we only have three more dares to go, so let's blast through them

Ratchet: Did someone say blast?! *Pulls out a futuristic blaster*

Swords: No Ratchet, I didn't mean literally! Put that thing away!

Ratchet: Meh *Puts blaster away*

Swords: Thank you. Next dare is for Pixal, you have to sing Let it Go...holy shit I love that song!

Zane: Does she get to wear Elsa's dress?

Swords: No Zane, she does not

Zane: Awww...

**-At the mall-**

Random Guy: Hey, that pretty girl is back!

Swords: Still taken!

Zane: You're darn right she's taken!

Random Guy: Oh...*jumps out the window*

Kai: What is wrong with that guy?

Swords: I dunno, ask the author.

Pixal: Okay, well, I'm back with another song

Zane: WHOOO! YEAH!

Pixal: ...Aha...yeah, well I guess I'll start

_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight_  
_ Not a footprint to be seen_  
_ A kingdom of isolation,_  
_ And it looks like I'm the queen._

_ The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside_  
_ Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!_

_ Don't let them in, don't let them see_  
_ Be the good girl you always have to be_  
_ Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know_  
_ Well now they know!_

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Can't hold it back anymore_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ Turn away and slam the door!_

_ I don't care_  
_ What they're going to say_  
_ Let the storm rage on,_  
_ The cold never bothered me anyway!_

_ It's funny how some distance_  
_ Makes everything seem small_  
_ And the fears that once controlled me_  
_ Can't get to me at all!_

_ It's time to see what I can do_  
_ To test the limits and break through_  
_ No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!_

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ I am one with the wind and sky_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ You'll never see me cry!_

_ Here I stand_  
_ And here I'll stay_  
_ Let the storm rage on!_

_ My power flurries through the air into the ground_  
_ My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around_  
_ And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast_  
_ I'm never going back,_  
_ The past is in the past!_

_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ And I'll rise like the break of dawn_  
_ Let it go, let it go_  
_ That perfect girl is gone!_

_ Here I stand_  
_ In the light of day_  
_ Let the storm rage on,_  
_ The cold never bothered me anyway!_

Zane: *Crying* THAT'S MY GIRL! THAT IS MY GIRL! WHOOO!

Swords: Party Flare time!

Ratchet: NO!

Swords: Oh, right, right...Well, to the second dare! Zane, you have to sing Music of the Night to Pixal

Zane: Anything for my lady *Grabs microphone*

Swords: Wait, he needs to be fabulous for this! *Snaps fingers and Zane is dressed in a glitzy white tuxedo*

Zane: Nice...

_Nightime sharpens, heightens each sensation. _

_Darkness stirs and wakes imagination. _

_Silently the senses abandon their defenses._

_Slowly, gently, night unfurls it's splendor. _

_Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender._

_Turn your face away from the garish light of day. _

_Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light, _

_and listen to the music of the night._

_Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams,_

_ purge your thoughts of the life you knew before._

_Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar. _

_And you'll live, as you've never lived before._

_Softly, deftly, music shall caresss you. _

_Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you._

_Open up your mind, let your fantisies unwind, _

_in this darkness that you know you cannot fight. _

_The darkness of the music of the night._

_Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world, _

_leave all thoughts of the life you knew before._

_Let your soul take you where you long to be. _

_Only then can you belong to me._

_Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. _

_Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation._

_Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in,_

_ to the power of the music that I write._

_ The power of the music of the night._

_You alone can make my song take flight._

_ Help me make the music of the night._

Zane: *Gasping*

Pixal: ...Hm? Oh I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?

Zane: *angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmmmm...

Swords: Even I saw that coming because the author works in cruel and mysterious ways. As for the last dare, we must look at ninjago picture on Deviant Art

*Pulls out a laptop and goes to Deviant Art*

Ratchet: Hey...some of these are pretty good

Swords: Yeah

Kai: There's some comics, scenes that we did in the show, and...w-wait what's that. Cole, come over here please

Cole: What?

Kai: What's this picture?

Cole: Well it looks like...it looks like me...and you doing...uh...uh...UUUH...UUUUUUHHH...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kai: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD THAT'S FUCKED UP!

Cole: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SICKO! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Kai: *Throws laptop out the window*

Everyone: 0_0

Swords: Hm...well at least we don't have to explain Lava Shipping to them anymore. Well looks like that's all we have for this episode! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Cole: OH GOD! OH MY GOD! *throws up*

Kai: I NEED A SHOWER! I NEED TO TAKE A FREAKING SHOWER!

Ratchet: They're pretty freaked out

Swords: Yeah...let's show Jay and Zane Techno Shipping!

* * *

**I leave for camping tomorrow and I'm coming back on Tuesday. I am PRAYING that the campground has Wi-Fi so I can make the new episode.**

**Who else is excited for Comic Con 2014? I hope that they reveal a new trailer/clip for the Ratchet and Clank Movie! (It's possible that they will)**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while you pick up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off! **


	8. Chapter 8: Hash Tags Everywhere!

Swords: *Playing guitar*

_Windmill, windmill for the land_

_Turn forever hand in hand_

_Take it all in on your stride_

_It is sticking falling down_

_Love forever, love is free_

_Let's turn forever you and me_

_Windmill, windmill for the land_

_Is everybody in?_

Ratchet: Do you always have to sing whenever I'm in the room?

Swords; Not gonna lie, I didn't know that you were in the room

Ratchet: Oh whatever...wait, where did you get that guitar?

Swords: I found it

**-At Swordian 69's house-**

Swordian 69: WHERE'S MY ANTIQUE GUITAR?!

**-At the studio-**

Swords: Ehehe

Ratchet *Gets out of seat* Well, show's about to start. Better find Clank and head to the studio set

Swords: Yeah. Do me a favor and grab the dare cards.

Ratchet: *Walks over to the dare card mailbox* Let's see how many we got *Opens mailbox and gets buried by dare cards*

Swords: ...Looks like we got a couple

Ratchet: I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN! THESE CARDS ARE POINTY!

Swords: Frank! Clean up on isle Ratchet!

...

...

...

Swords: He'll come eventually, bye Ratchet! *Leaves the room*

Ratchet: ...I have dare cards in places where they should never be

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Ratchet: *Pulls a dare card out of his pants* AAAHHHHHH! OH MY GOD THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER! AAAHHHHHHH!

Clank: ...Do I even want to know?

Swords: No you do not

Ratchet: Oh...um...here *hands Swords the card*

Swords: Yeah, wash that off before I make contact with it, cause I know where's it's been

Ratchet: ...*sniffs card* Ewwww

Swords: Yeah...I don't want that touching my skin

Clank: You wear gloves

Swords: I don't want it touching my glove either. Now, without further ado, let's start the dares. And I'm not saying that because we already did the "pre dare" shenanigans. No, the author is itching to tell you guys something so she wants to move the chapter along before she explodes. So we're going to do the easy dares first. Which means that Zane and Jay will be going first

Kai: HA! SUCKERS!

Swords: *throws a brick at Kai*

Kai: Will you cut that out?!

Swords: Hell naw! Next one is gonna be Clank!

Clank: *Cracks knuckles (and he doesn't even HAVE knuckles! He's that badass)*

Kai: ...I am so frightened right now

Clank: You should be

Swords: Cute robot by day, adorable killer by night

Clank: Hehehehehe!

Kai: ...*slowly moves under his chair*

Swords: Now then! Zane and Jay, you have to read Techno Shipping fan fictions

Zane: What is Techno Shipping?

Ratchet: ...this is gonna be absolutely hilarious, here Zane *Hands Zane and Jay a laptop*

Zane and Jay: ...Ooh...ohhhhh...OHHHHHH...ohhhhh...ahhh...ahhhhh...AHHHHHH...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jay: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU NINDROID RAPIST!

Zane: THIS DOES VERY MUCH DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT F*CKING COMPUTE! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Swords: Yeah, camera crew, post all of those shots on YouTube. Like, ASAP! Next dare is for Kai

Kai: Son of a-

Swords: *hold up Clank*

Kai: 0_0

Clank: Yay! I'm a weapon!

Swords: Ya' damn right you are. Now Kai, outside of the window over there is a volcano, I need you to jump into it

Kai: ...Why is there a volcano next to the studio?

Swords: Why is there a giant orange cat sitting next to me?

Ratchet: *Licking his fur* HEY! I'm a Lombax!

Swords: Shut up kitty bitch. Now out the window with ya' hothead!

Kai: *Mumbling angrily then jumps out the window* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, wait why am I screaming? I'm the ninja of fire! There's no way Swords could have found her way around this one

Swords: He totes ma goats f*cked!

Kai: *Falls into the lava* Ahhh...this feels really nice...wait a minute...what's that sound? Is it the-OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER!

*A Groudon rises out of the lava*

Swords: *Jumps onto the window sill* #OMEGARUBY BITCHES! I'M ON TEAM GROUDON!

Kai: ...Aw fuck *Gets eaten by Groudon*

Ratchet: I'm #AlphaSapphire

Swords: ...*smashes a hash tag sign over Ratchet's head*

Ratchet: #HolyCrapThatHurt

Swords: ...*Looks at Clank*

Clank: Ah! *holds up a flag that says #OmegaRuby*

Swords: Alright, checks out. Next dare is for Zane, you have to make out with Elsa from Frozen! My favorite movie!

Ratchet and Clank: *glare at Swords*

Swords: ...UNTIL 2015! *Snaps fingers and Queen Elsa appears*

Zane: ...I have a strange feeling in my-

Swords: Whoa! Zane! Let's keep this Rated T, alright? #TRatingLet'sKeepItThatWay

Zane: Oh, my apologies. You are quite beautiful Ms. Elsa

Elsa: You aren't too bad looking yourself

Zane: *Makes out with Elsa*

Pixal: *Extremely angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Swords: Pixal, read "Wired Hearts" then you'll feel a lot better. Besides, I ship Elsa with Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians...#ElsaxJack

Ratchet: Enough with the hash tags!

Swords: No! #RatchetIsBeingABitchBecauseHeDoesn'tLikeItWhenIUseHashtagsALot

Ratchet: Oh come on, that's hash tag cheating right there

Swords: DON'T CARE! MOVING ON! Next dare is for...#HolyCrapThisDareIsForRatchet!

Ratchet: Eheh...what now?

Swords: Yep, you have to...fight Clank

Ratchet: Oh-no!

Clank: Oh-no!

Jay: Oh-no!

Frank: Oh-no!

Kool-Aid Guy: *Bursts thought the wall* OH YEAH!

Everyone: *Stares at Kool-Aid Guy*

Kool-Aid Guy: ...*Backs out of the studio*

Cole: ...Did the author watch Family Guy before typing this?

Swords: Yes she did...NOW BATTLE MY LOYAL CO-HOSTS!

Ratchet: Alright, let's do this. I'm the most macho man I know. I carry large weapons with me ever. I've saved the galaxy about eight times. And I've dealt with Captain Qwark. I think that I can fight my own best friend, BRING IT ON TIN CAN!

Clank: *Stares at Ratchet*

Ratchet: Well, come on!

Clank: *Staring at Ratchet*

Ratchet: ...I...I don't get it, what's he doing?

Clank: *Staring at Ratchet*

Ratchet: Stop it!

Clank: *Smiles at Ratchet*

Ratchet: Knock it off!

Clank: *Hugs Ratchet*

Ratchet: Ahhh...ahhh get him off...I will not fall for it...ahhhh...ahhhh...ahhhhhaaaaaaa *Starts crying and hugs Clank* I could never hurt my best pal!

Swords: All in favor of saying that Ratchet just f*cked himself, raise your hand!

Everyone: *Raises hand*

Clank: *Knees Ratchet in the crotch*

Ratchet: AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Clank: #InYourFace! *Punches Ratchet in the face*

Ratchet: *Falls to the ground* Ahhhhhhh...ahhhhhhh...

Clank: That's for believing Klunk was me and for not believing me about the Zoni. #RobotRevenge

Swords: #RobotRevenge...let's make that trend...like seriously. Next dare is for...well it's for me. I get to Sparta kick Jay down Niagara Falls!

Jay: WHAT?!

**-At Niagara Falls-**

Jay: Why would anyone do this? Like seriously! This is madness!

Swords: ...Madness?

...

...

...

...

Swords: THIS IS A DARE SHOW! *Kicks Jay down the falls*

Jay: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *hits a rock* and fall into the water*

Swords: It...is done...alright fish him out. We need him for the next dare.

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: That dare was awesome. But, for the record, I refuse to watch 300: Rise of an Empire because my brother keeps on saying "Leonidas is dead" in a violent British accent...gets really annoying but it's always funny. Last dare is for Jay and Kai. There's a drum set in this guy's house and I want you to steal it for me.

Kai: Can't you just steal it yourself

Swords: NO! #DoYourDamnDareBeforeIShoveMySwordWhereTheSunDon'tShine

Jay: ...Okay

**-At a guy's house-**

Kai: Alright, how are we gonna get in?

Jay: Ring the doorbell?

Kai: Jay...we're breaking into a guy's house, we don't ring the damn doorbell!

Jay: Hahaha, right, I knew that *Grabs a rock and throws it through the window*

Kai: Hmmm

Jay: What?

Kai: This window looks awfully familiar...oh well, let's get those drums! *climbs through the window* alright, you find the drums while I keep watch

Jay: Got it!

Kai: *Looks around* ...Actually a pretty nice house...though it feels like I've been here before...wait a second...I have been here before...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jay: WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!

Kai: WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!

Jay: WHY?!

Kai: BECAUSE-

*the lights turn on to reveal someone holding a baseball bat*

Bald Guy: #YouRatBastard

Kai: ...Aw fuck

Bald guy: *Raises baseball bat* AAHHH-

**~WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES~**

Swords: Oh come on! I wanna see Kai get beaten...as well as Jay!

Ratchet: Then again, there are children here...that likes to beat the crap out of me

Clank: *hugs Celebi toy* Hehehehehehehehe!

Ratchet: I'm trying to hate you but I love you too much to do so. so I'm just going to stare a t you intensely *Stares at Clank intensely*

Clank: ...#IAmVeryUncomfortableRightNow

Swords: *smashes another hash tag on Ratchet's head*

Ratchet: OW! I BIT MY TONGUE!

Swords: Ehehe, you deserve it too

Ratchet: -_-

Swords: Ehehe, well looks like that's all we have for this chapter. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Jay: *Crawls through the window* Ahhhh...oweeee...oweeeee...oweeeeeee...

Clank: I do not think Kai made it

Swords: Neither do I...let's go steal from people's houses

Ratchet: Yay! Criminal activity!

* * *

**Alright, it's the end of the chapter...I can let this out of my system...**

**You know how every movie has a song that goes with it? (Earth to Echo: Counting Stars. Big Hero 6: Light Em' Up). Well, the song representing the Ratchet and Clank Movie was announced today and...*deeps breathe* IT'S "LIVE IT UP" BY OWL CITY! OWL FREAKING CITY! OH MY GOD ONE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS SINGING FOR MY (soon to be) FAVORITE MOVIE!**

**(Heavy breathing)**

**I listened to the song and it is PERFECT for R&C! I WAS SO EXCITED I THOUGHT THAT I WAS GONNA EXPLODE!**

**(More heavy breathing)**

**Okay, got that outta ma' system. **

**Now, because I was typing this at 12:41 in the morning, I had to cut short on dares, but I did save some for the next chapter.**

**Also, you like the new cover photo?**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	9. Chapter 9: Lombax Rage

Swords: *Singing obnoxiously* _IMMA CHECK MAI EMAIL! IMMA CHECK MAI EMAIL! _*checks email* Bill, bill, bill, law suit, bill, restraining order, bill, bill, law suit bill, free subscription to the Diamond Times Newspaper, law suit, bill, bill, bill-AAAHHHHH! A new Super Smash Bros character has been revealed!

Ratchet: *bursts through the wall* WHAT NOW?!

Swords: Ratchet! There's a f*cking door right there! Honestly!

Clank: *Being dragged by Ratchet* That's going to add another bill to your inbox

_Ding_

Clank: There it is

Ratchet: *Jumps into a seat and scoots up to the computer* Who's the new character?

Swords: Doesn't say, but there's a video trailer link

Ratchet: Click on it! Click on it!

Clank: Swords, I have to go pee tinkle

Swords: Hold it in, we gotta watch this *Plays video and sees Charizard as a playable character*

**Charizard Fires It Up!**

Ratchet: Oh, so he's gonna be his own character now?

Swords: I guess so, I'm gonna miss Squirtle and Ivysaur though...wait...who the hell is that?

Ratchet: Is that...no...NO IT CAN'T BE!

**Greninja Makes a Splash!**

...

...

**-One reaction later-**

Swords: (Heavy breathing)

Ratchet: (Heavy breathing)

Clank: I don't have to pee tinkle anymore

**(1st Verse)**

This game of dares, it is really fun

Dare requests and Jay's bad puns

Diamond chairs reflect the light

Torturing guys is just my type

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I have not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me, I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(2nd Verse)**

I feel this love from my swordians

Time to start the show again

Shenanigans behind the set

Mess with Frank then he will fret

Let me introduce myself

Swords be me, I run this hell

Diamond sword is in my hand

My studio is so grand

I am feeling so strong

Releasing my Pikachu

And I love my co-hosts

I got not one but two

Can't get enough

Get enough

Get enough

Every dare you send me I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

**(3rd Verse)**

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Add my dare twists

Occasional pranks

Hangin' with my homies

Ratchet and Clank

Every dare you send me...I will bring to life

**(Chorus)**

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Hosting this dare show making memories

Throwing ninjas out of the window

No more ToD, this the Diamond Dare Show

_**The Diamond Dare Show 2: The Dares Strike Back**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Clank: Am I in trouble for not going to the bathroom on Kai's hood?

Swords: Nah, it was your reaction that made you pee out of place. Plus you were sitting on Ratchet's lap, so it counts for something.

Ratchet: *Sees black stains on his pants* AWWWWWWWW!

Swords: Calm down Ratchet, you're one of those characters who wear the same thing every day. you have like five other pair of pants exactly like those.

Ratchet: ...Oh...but I'm still made about it!

Swords: #LombaxRage

Ratchet: No more hash tags! That chapter is over

Swords: ...#FuckHe'sRight

Ratchet: But, I have to admit, I did like the Lombax Rage one

Swords: LOMBAX RAGE! That's your new thing now, when you get really pissed off, yell Lombax Rage

Ratchet: Oh finally I have thing! I was the only one of the three of us that didn't have a thing

Swords: Oh, you have a thing alright...

Ratchet: ...AW! I just got that! I thought that this was Rated T!

Swords: Ehehe, it is

Clank: I do not understand the joke

Swords: Good, let's keep it that way. We should probably start the dares now. First one is for Kai

Kai: Oh come on! What did I do?

Swords: Nothing, the author just randomly picked your dare

Kai: Oh...alright...

Swords: ...*throws a brick at Kai*

Kai: OW! I thought you said that I didn't do anything!

Swords: You didn't, I just had an extra brick laying around

Kai: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmmm

Swords: As for your dare, you have to make out with Katniss from the Hunger Games

Ratchet: Lucky bastard

Swords: Whoa, I think Ratchet has a crush

Clank: Indeed he does, he's in love with Katniss Everdeen

Ratchet: No I'm not!

Swords: Yes you are

Ratchet: Yeah, I am

Swords: Ehehe, *snaps fingers and Katniss appears*

Kai: Well hubba hubba ding ding who invented that thing?

Clank: I did not to hear that

Swords: *duck taping Ratchet to his seat* Well, it's Kai, he says stupid things

Kai: You guys be quiet, I'm trying to score over here! *Makes out with Katniss*

Ratchet: *Growling like a tiger* LOMBAX RAGE!

Swords: I'm sure both Peeta Bread and Gale are raging too

Ratchet: Yeah I bet they-PEETA BREAD! Hahahahaha! That's damn funny right there!

Swords: alright kitty bitch, calm down. Next dare is for Sensei. you have to go ONE YEAR without tea

Sensei: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swords: ...Yes. And I have a video from the future (thank you Orvus the Dialga) of what you'll be like in exactly one year

*Shows the video and Sensei is in a straight jacket, rocking back and forth in a white plushy room*

Clank: He's in an Insane Asylum

Sensei: I DON'T BLAME ME FOR GOING CRAZY!

Ratchet: Hm, what are we doing a year from now? Partying with the year's newcomers?

Swords: *Checks video* Mm, no. We're watching the DVD copy of your movie.

Ratchet: Oh...kinda figures

Swords: Yeah. Speaking of your movie, you have a dare to watch the trailer for six hours...OH YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH!

Clank: But there are two trailers. Which one does he have to watch?

Swords: Easy, three hours of the Teaser Trailer, and three hours of the unhelpful E3 Trailer

Clank: Why was the E3 Trailer unhelpful?

Swords: It was short and Captain Qwark had more dialogue than you

Clank: Oh

Ratchet: Well, I'm off! *Walks into the other room*

Swords And now, we wait...

...

...

...

...

Kai: *Farts*

Swords: ...*Throws a brick at him*

**-6 hours later-**

Ratchet: *Walks out of the other room* Much hype, little wow

Swords: Little wow my sweet ass! That movie will have much wow!

Clank: Yes it will!

Swords: I know it will! ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Cole, you have to read Lava Shipping fics

Cole: NO! NO I WON'T GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!

Swords: You must! It is your dare!

Cole: MEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEH!

Ratchet: Just get it over with dude *gives him a laptop*

Cole: *starts reading* Uhhhh...uhhhhh...awww why would I do that? Uhhh...ewwwwww...awwww why would Kai do that? Eeeeewwwwww...ew ew ew ew ew ew...ewwwwwwwwww...THAT'S IT, I"M DONE *Throws laptop out the window*

Ratchet: That was my new laptop! LOMBAX RAGE BITCH! *Tackles Cole*

Swords: Okay, now he's just having fun with his new meme

Clank: Who wouldn't have fun with a new meme?

Swords: Eh good point. ANYWAY next dare is for Zane. You have to make out with zanejulien's OC, Luna

Ratchet: *Still beating up Cole* You get to score with Queen Elsa and an OC. You are one lucky Nindroid.

Cole: Get off me!

Ratchet: Not while I'm LOMBAX RAGING!

Swords: *Snaps fingers and Luna appears*

Zane: Well, hello. My name is Zane and-

Luna: Be quiet *Grabs Zane and makes out with him*

Pixal: *angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmmmm

Swords: Calm down Pixal it's just a dare...that he's enjoying very much

Zane: *Thumbs up*

Swords: I have the most uncomfortable feeling right now. Well Zane, get your face outta that girl's face, this next dare is for you too

Zane: *Sees that Luna disappeared* ...Awwww. What's the dare?

Swords: Chuck dat lightning ninja outta da' window

Zane: Why do you not use proper grammar?

Swords: I'm fifteen, what the hell do you expect?

Zane: Good point *Grabs Jay*

Jay: Oh come on, please Zane, don't do it!

Zane: Sorry, just doing the dare *Throws Jay out the window*

Jay: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH-wait what the hell are those things? *Hits a cactus* OOOWWWWWW POINTY! *Hits a pipe* OOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEEE! *hits another cactus* OOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! Okay...okay...I think it's over...

_DONG_

Jay: *high pitched voice* I FORGOT ABOUT THE POLE!

Ratchet: What the hell was all that other stuff?

Swords: Eh, it was apart of another dare. I figured that I could kill two birds with one stone.

Ratchet: Ah, I see

Swords: Yeah...well looks like that's all we have for this chapter. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: *Walks away*

Clank: Ratchet, where are you going?

Ratchet: I'm gonna...I'm gonna uh...I'm gonna watch the trailer again

Swords: Ah, sorry Ratchet. Your excessive trailer watching burned out the T.V.

Ratchet: ...

Swords: Ratchet?

Ratchet: ...LOMBAX RAGE!

* * *

**So I was listening to "Live it Up" by Owl City (because I've become obsessed with it) and I was thinking...this would make a great song for the Diamond Dare Show. Like, listen to these lyrics:**

**"We're gonna blow up cause we got nothing to lose"**

**"We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules"**

**"Tear up the script, this is it, cause it's all up to you"**

**I dunno, what do you think?**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while you pick up your complementary toaster**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	10. Chapter 10: Spider-Kai

Swords: *Opening packs of Pokémon cards* Got it got it got it got it got it got it got it got it got it and...got it. Ah well *sets cards on fire*

Clank: *enters the room* Uh...Swords?

Swords: Wha-*sniff sniff* Aw, what stinks?

Clank: *holds up a bag full of nuts and bolts*

Swords: What is that? Evidence from the Ace Hardware crime scene? I told Ratchet to stay away from there

Clank: No, this...came from me

Swords: What are you talking abou-

Clank: ...

Swords: Holy shit you took your first shit. YES! I knew that this day would come!

Clank: Uh, what?

Swords: I knew that it was only a matter of time before the author enabled you to crap. What's in this bag isn't poop, it's a miracle!

Ratchet: *yells from another room* He also left a small miracle on a chair in the break room!

Swords: ...That's my bot!

**Ladies and gentle-swordians, it is my pleasure to announce the new theme song of The Diamond Dare Show!**

**Dare it Up- A parody of "Live it Up" by Owl City**

**(Pre-Chorus)**

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

**(1st Verse)**

Show of games

Sword shines like the sunlight

Twilight's flames

Burns bright through the sky

Don't grieve on

Cause those diamond dareless days are gone

It didn't die

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

**(2nd Verse)**

Time to go, the main stage is ready

Gonna have the time of our lives

Three strange hosts: Clank is cute but deadly

Ratchet still boasts, Swords' humor thrives

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

...

Today, let's dare it up, let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

We're gonna dare it up today

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Kai: What happened to Counting Dares?

Swords: What happened to your face?

Kai: What do you-*hit in the face with nuts and bolts* OW-ewww, why does it smell?

Swords: *Wearing sanitary gloves* No reason-

Clank: It's my fecal matter

Kai: ...

Ratchet: That means poop

Kai: Ohhhhh...EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ROBOT TURDS!

Swords: I wonder what Zane pooped out before he knew that he was a robot

Everyone: *Looks at Zane*

Zane: ...Heh-heh...heh...eehhhhhh...

Ratchet: Well...we're waiting

Zane: ...*runs for the window*

Swords: He's making a run for it! *throws Clank at Zane*

Clank: *Grabs Zane's ankle to weigh him down* Do not hide what is inside Zane!

Ratchet: Ha! I get it!

Swords: No you don't

Zane: Get off of me you twenty pound piece of-

Clank: *puppy eyes*

Zane: ...Alright, I won't jump out the window

Clank: Yay!

Swords: Clank, you should become a negotiator when you grow up

Clank: I'm not programmed to grow up

Swords: Oh...yay! Now then, we should continue the dares because we have a lot of them...in fact I'm going to install a Speed Dare session

Lloyd: Aw, I hate speed daring!

Swords: And I hate you!

Lloyd: I thought that you said that I was a ninja that you actually liked?

Swords: You were, until you lost your golden power. Now you're LAME

Lloyd: :(

Ratchet: The truth hurts man

Swords: You're lame too

Ratchet: What? Why?

Swords: Because Full Frontal Assault happened and you and your voice actor let it happen

Ratchet: Hey! Don't bring James Arnold Taylor into this!

Swords: Boy, I'll bring Mike Kelly into this if I have to!

Ratchet: ...LOMBAX RAGE!

Swords: Crap crap crap crap crap *throws Ratchet onto Mindroid*

Mindroid: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ratchet: GOD I HATE THIS GUY! WHY IS HE SO SHORT?! IT CONFUSES ME! *Beats up Mindroid*

Clank: I am frightened

Swords: So am I

Clank: It is a good thing that one of Ratchet's dares was Lombax Raging on Mindroid

Swords: Wait, it was?

Clank: Yes it said-oh nevermind

Swords: Ehehe, well, let's get to speed daring

**_Speed Daring!_**

Garmadon: *grabs a frying pan* DIE YOU EVIL FLOATING PURPLE GOLF BALL! *smacks Overlord with the frying pan*

Overlord: OW! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!

Garmadon: Can't hear you over all of your pain! *Hits Overlord with frying pan*

Overlord: OWWWW!

**NEXT!**

Cole: So what's my dare?

Swords: *Whistles*

Cole: *Eaten by Twilight*

Kai: Ha!

**NEXT!**

Jay: Alright, spit him out!

Twilight: *Barfs up Cole*

Cole: *Gasps* IT WAS SO DARK!

Jay: Shut up Cole *Grabs Cole* Ewwww, you're all slimy

Cole: I was just eaten and barfed up!

Jay: Whatever! *throws Cole out the window*

**NEXT!**

Pixal: Oh...I am so bored

Jack Frost: So I am

Pixal: AH! Jack Frost!

Jack Frost: Hey there, wanna hang out with the Ice Guardian instead of the Ice Ninja?

Pixal and Swords: YES!

Everyone: *Looks at Swords*

Swords: ...What?

Pixal: *Makes out with Jack*

Zane: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmm

Swords: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmmmm

**NEXT!**

Cole: *Appears on the roof* WHOA! This building is taller than I thought. Better be careful not to fall...

Ratchet: HEY COLE! *Holds out a cake*

Cole: CAKE! *Jumps off the roof* OH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

**NEXT!**

Lloyd and Kai: *on the laptop*

Kai: Hey, what's a Greenflame fanfic?

Lloyd: I dunno, click on it

Kai: Okay *Clicks on fic*

Lloyd and Kai: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**END OF SPEED DARING**

Swords: Whoo, that was fun wasn't it?

Lloyd: *Rocking back and forth in the corner*

Garmadon: *Whispers to Misako* I think it's time we tell him about the Birds and the Bees

Swords: More like the birds and the even more birds

Ratchet: Ha!

Swords: Shut up Ratchet

Ratchet: Awww...

Clank: When are you going to tell me about the birds and the bees?

Swords: NEVER! IT'LL TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR INNOCENCE!

Clank: ...Okay

Swords: I like your innocence...makes you cute...ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for the ninja. You have t watch episode 34 of Rebooted

Jay: Episode what of what now?

Swords: Shut up and look at the screen! *Lowers flat screen TV and plays episode 34*

Ninja: ...

Ratchet: We need to time jump

Swords: Alright

**-30 minutes later-**

Ninja: *Crying and hugging Zane* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zane: I am very uncomfortable right now. Was that hard for you to watch Pixal?

Pixal: *texting Jack Frost*

Zane: -_-

Swords: I ship Jack Frost with Elsa ya' know

Ratchet: That's weird, you're weird

Swords: Thank you. Next dare is for Kai, you have to dress up as Spiderman and swing around the city

Kai: Do I get to be that really cool black suit Spiderman

Swords: NO! NO VENOM FOR YOU!

Kai: Awwww...

**-One wardrobe change later-**

Kai: *Swinging around the city on a white painted rope* SPIDER MAN! SPIDER MAN! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN! CAN I SWING FROM A WEB? NO I CAN'T, IT'S A ROPE! LOOK OUUUUUUUUT HERE COMES THE SPIDER-*slams into the side of a building*

Pedestrians: *winces* Ohhhhhhhhhhh

Kai: *Falls down the building, hitting fire escapes and window sills, eventually hitting the ground*

Pedestrians: *Staring at Kai*

Kai: *Gets up all dizzy like* And that's where babies come from! *Falls down*

**-Back at the studio-**

Clank: So babies come from people slamming into a building?

Swords: Sure, why not? Next dare is for Jay, you have to disguise yourself as a bush while sitting on a street corner so you can scare people

Jay: Oh this will not end well

**-Another wardrobe change later-**

Jay: *Dressed as a shrub, sitting on a street corner* Oh this is gonna be great! I can't wait to see the look on the person's face when I scare them!

*Jay hears someone coming*

Jay: Alright, here we go...1...2...3-*Jumps out of disguise and scared the person*

Guy: AAAHHHHHHH! TALKING SHRUB! *Lights Jay on fire with flamethrower*

Jay: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kai: *Still dizzy* I'll save you Mary Jane! This will put you out! *Grabs lighter fluid*

Jay: NO KAI DON'T-

Kai: *Sprays Jay with lighter fluid*

Jay: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: *Laughing her ass off* Oh that's damn funny right there!

Ratchet: Breathe, Swords, breathe

Swords: *Gasping for air* Okay...okay I'm good...I'm good...hah...the next dare is a singing dare. Ratchet has to sing-

Ratchet: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA BACK UP! I have to sing something?

Swords: Uh...yeah

Ratchet: Why?!

Swords: Because it's your dare

Ratchet: AWWWWWWW

Swords: Hey, your voice actor is actually a pretty good singer! don't you watch Batman the Brave and the Bold?

Ratchet: No

Swords: Well you should! Now get to the mall cat boy! You gotta sing Live it Up by Owl City!

Ratchet: Yep, saw that coming

Swords: You know, the person who sings Live it Up actually kinda sounds like you too-

Ratchet: BYE!

**-At the mall-**

Ratchet: God I hate this so much, I can't believe that I'm about to do this. Let's just get this over with

_(Lets Live It Up, Lets Live It Up, Lets Live It Up, Lets Live It Up)_

_ Lead the way, and lets get it started, _  
_ Seize the day, and reach for the sky,_  
_ Carry on, 'cause those broken hearted days are gone,_  
_ So wave good bye,_

_ We're gonna blow up because we've got nothing to lose,_  
_ We're gonna rise up above when we've break all the rules,_  
_ We're gonna re-write the book 'cause its long over-due,_  
_ Tear up the script this is in 'cause its all up to you!_

_ Because tomorrow, will show up on time,_  
_ Its gonna follow, the night of your life,_  
_ You know, tomorrow, begins when you say-_  
_ 'Tomorrow is on it's way, so lets live it up today!'_  
_ Lets live it up today!_

_ Pack your bags, adventure is waiting,_  
_ Gonna have, the ride of your life,_  
_ Smile wide, 'cause theres no debating,_  
_ It feels so right, so hold on tight!_

_ We're gonna blow up because we've got nothing to lose,_  
_ We're gonna rise up above when we've break all the rules,_  
_ We're gonna re-write the book 'cause its long over-due,_  
_ Tear up the script this is in 'cause its all up to you!_

_ Because tomorrow, will show up on time,_  
_ Its gonna follow, the night of your life,_  
_ You know, tomorrow, begins when you say-_  
_ 'Tomorrow is on it's way, so lets live it up today!'_

_ Today, lets live it up, lets live it up, today-ay-ay, _  
_ Lets live it up today!_

_ Because tomorrow, will show up on time,_  
_ Its gonna follow, the night of your life,_  
_ You know, tomorrow, begins when you say-_  
_ 'Tomorrow is on it's way, so lets live it up today!'_

_ Tomorrow, will show up on time,_  
_ Its gonna follow, the night of your life,_  
_ You know, tomorrow, begins when you say-_  
_ 'Tomorrow is on it's way, so lets live it up today!'_

_ Lets live it up today-ay-ay, _  
_ Lets live it up today,_  
_ Lets live it up today,_

_ We're gonna live it up today! _

Ratchet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I'M DONE! *Leaves the mall*

Random Shopper: ...Did that giant cat just talk?

Ratchet: I AM NOT A CAT!

Swords: YES YOU ARE!

Ratchet: NO I'M NOT!

Clank: Yes you are!

Ratchet: BE QUIET!

Clank: *Hugs Celebi toy* Okay...

Swords: Uh! Nuh-uh! I know that you did not just yell at Clank! No one yells at my Clanky!

Ratchet: What are you going to do?

Swords: I'm about to become your worst nightmare bitch!

?: Did someone say _nightmare?_

Ratchet: Who the hell was that?

Swords: *Grabs diamond sword handle* I know that voice anywhere...

**-INSERT ANTASMA THEME (Swords' Theme)-**

*A masked vampire with a purple and black cape, bat like bowtie, yellow eyes, and spiky black hair comes out of the ground*

Swords: HOLY SHIT IT'S ANTASMA!

Antasma: Duh, who do think it vas?

Swords: I thought it 'vas' the ice cream man! But now I see that it's floating dead meat! *Pulls out diamond sword* Prepare to meet your-

Antasma: *Eats diamond sword*

Swords: ...Aw fuck!

Antasma: *Grows bigger* SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Antasma: Now you shall all fell my wrath!

Clank: Not if we have anything to say about it!

Antasma: Vat are you talking abou-SKREEEEE!

Clank: *With a giant hammer made of Dreamy Luigi's* Let's a go! *smashes Antasma with Luigi hammer*

Antasma: SKREEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Explodes into rainbow stars*

**Clank gained 5000 EXP!**

Clank: Yaay!

Swords: Whoa...Clank must play Mario and Luigi Dream Team in his free time

Clank: Hehehehehehe!

Swords: Ehehe, well looks like that's all we have for this episode. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: Hey look, there's your sword

Swords: Oh my baby! *Grabs and hugs sword*

Clank: Is it a good idea to hug a sword?

Swords: Of course it is...does anyone else smell blood?

Ratchet: Uhh, Swords?

Swords: Man, did it just get cold in here? And why is the room getting brighter?

Clank: Swords?

Swords: It's like I'm...*falls to the floor*

Ratchet: ...Alright, let's drag her to the ER

* * *

**So, what do you think of the new theme song? **

**It was a close vote against a parody of "Let it Go", but it pulled ahead at the last minute**

**Also, I made Antasma's (who, by the way, is my favorite villain) theme Swords' official theme music. There's a link to it on my profile if you wanna hear it**

**And to whoever sent in the "LC for the chapter" dare (I think it was magicwolfpup) I'm gonna do that next chapter. SO CLANK IS GOING TO BE LC NEXT CHAPTER GUYS!**

**GAMES-COM IS IN SIX DAYS! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NEW POKEMON MEGA EVOLUTIONS WILL BE REVEALED (oh please let one of them be Flygon) AND (hopefully) A NEW RATCHET AND CLANK MOVIE TRAILER!**

**BTW: I have started a new story called "Burnt". It's an opposite parody of Frozen with the fire elemental Kai playing the role of Elsa instead of ice elemental Zane. Go and check it out! (If you want to)**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	11. Chapter 11: Gold vs Diamond

Swords: Dude, you ready?

Ratchet: As ready as I'll ever be

Swords: Alright, let's do this!

...

...

Swords and Ratchet: *Inhale helium from balloons*

Swords: *Deep voice* ...I don't think it wor-HOLY SH*T!

Ratchet: *High pitched voice* Hahaha-OH MY GOD! I sound like Jay when he hits the pole!

Swords: Dude dude, check this out *Inhales helium* Ratchet, I am your father!

Ratchet: *Inhales helium* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swords: Hahahaha! *Inhales helium* I'll be back...with weapons!

Ratchet: *Inhales helium* Put him in the cone of shame!

Swords: AHAHAHAHAHA...ahahaha...haha...ahhh *passes out*

Ratchet: Oh yeah, this stuff can make you pass out. Well, let's get to the ER *drags Swords out of the room*

Clank: Hello? Ratchet? Swords? I have to go poopie and I don't know what a 'toilet' is! Guy? *Sees balloon* Hmmm...*grabs balloon and inhales helium*

...

...

Clank: ...I do not have lungs

**(Pre-Chorus)**

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

**(1st Verse)**

Show of games

Sword shines like the sunlight

Twilight's flames

Burns bright through the sky

Don't grieve on

Cause those diamond dareless days are gone

It didn't die

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

**(2nd Verse)**

Time to go, the main stage is ready

Gonna have the time of our lives

Three strange hosts: Clank is cute but deadly

Ratchet still boasts, Swords' humor thrives

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

...

Today, let's dare it up, let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

We're gonna dare it up today

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: *Wearing an oxygen mask* Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Everyone: *Awkward faces*

Swords: ...What?

Jay: Any uh...any particular reason you're wearing an oxygen mask?

Swords: I passed out from overdosing on helium and laughter, but I think I'm good now *removes oxygen mask* HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH...alright, yeah, I'm good. We can start the dares now.

Kai: Son of a-

Swords: *Reaches for a brick*

Kai: -of a...beautiful, smart, fifteen year old swordsgirl

Swords: Aww...BOY, YOU COMIN' ON TO ME?!

Kai: What, no, I-

Swords: *Grabs a whole brick wall* STUPEFY BITCH! *throws wall*

Kai: Mama mia! *Hit by brick wall*

Ratchet: ...Did he just say-

Swords: Yes he did

Clank: Any particular reason you yelled 'stupefy'?

Swords: Oh yeah, my friend Guardian Sorceress Alanshee gave me this wand to use for the chapter.

Clank: Ooh, you are like Harry Potter! You should test it out on someone!

Swords: Yeah...I should...SWORDIFY! *Turns Clank into LC*

LC: Ah! That's not what I...I mean Clank meant!

Swords: Too bad, this was a dare. Now you're stuck like that for the whole chapter!

LC: Alright...*pounds on chest* Stop screaming 'no' Clank!

Swords: That's disturbing

Ratchet: Did you yell 'swordify'?

Swords: Yes

Ratchet: Uh...why?

Swords: Because I can! I would go on with a better explanation but we have dares flooding in. Seriously, out mailbox broke after we tried to fit them in there.

LC: Wasn't the mailbox made of diamond? How did it break?

Swords I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S THE THING! Freaking fan fiction logic strikes again! ANYWAY we should seriously start these dares. And that there are so many of them, it's time for-

**_SPEED DARING_**

Kai: *Gets up off the ground* Ow, my head, what's going?

Jay: A speed daring session

Kai: ...*hits himself with a brick and gets knocked out*

Swords: There's no escape Kai! Uh...h-healing spell! *Points wand at Kai and he gains consciousness*

Kai: Oof, is the show over yet?

Ratchet: Nope

Kai: DAMN IT!

Swords: Ehehe, alright, let's get started

**_FIRST UP!_**

Swords: *Sniff* Give me a bro hug Ratchet *Hugs Ratchet*

Ratchet: ...Something bad is going to happen to me, isn't it?

Swords: Yeah...*throws Ratchet into a pool full of electric eels*

Ratchet: ...Aw fuck *Gets electrocuted* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

LC: *Taking several photos*

_**NEXT!**_

Zane: This is for episode 34! *Punches the Overlord and Cryptor in the face*

Overlord: OW! Right in the everything!

_**NEXT!**_

Cole: Come here baby *Makes out with Nya*

Swords: *Taking several photos* I ship it hard

Jay: *Angry tone* Mmmmmm...mmmmmm...mmmm...MMMMMMMMM COLE I'LL KILL YOU! *Attacks Cole*

Cole: Ah! Help, police!

_**NEXT!**_

Jay: ...*slaps Ratchet*

Ratchet: Owee. Stingy.

_**NEXT!**_

Jay: ...*throws a grenade at Ratchet* EAT IT BITCH!

Ratchet: What the-

_BOOM!_

Ratchet: Owee. Boomy.

_**NEXT!**_

Jay: *Laughing at Ratchet* Hahahahahahahaha!

Zane: *Puts a snake on Jay's head*

Jay: Hahahaha...ahahaha...haha...ahhh...is that a snake on my head

Swords: A rattlesnake!

Jay: Oh *snake bites Jay* ...Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *falls to the floor*

_**NEXT!**_

Garmadon: Oh my god, Jay needs medical attention

Swords: you're right, he does! Ninja, Garmadon and Wu, gather around him over by the window. Make sure the breeze gets on him!

Ninja: *Moves Jay over by the window*

Lloyd: Now what?

Swords: This *Turns on a hose and water blasts the seven out the window*

LC: Well those guys are really _washed up_

Swords: ...*blasts LC with the hose*

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: *Taking deep breathes* This means nothing, this means nothing, this means nothing, this means nothing.

Ratchet: What are you-

Swords: *Makes out with Ratchet*

LC: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swords: ...*Blasts LC with the hose*

_**NEXT!**_

Ninja: *Looking on Deviant Art*

Lloyd: What's a 'Ninjago Yaoi Picture'?

Kai: I dunno, click on it

Zane: *Clicks on picture*

...

...

...

Ninja: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jay: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU RAPISTS!

_**NEXT!**_

Jay: *Staring at LC*

LC: *Staring at Jay*

...

...

...

Jay: *blinks* DAMN IT! How are you so good at this?

LC: This may be a different body but I'm still a robot

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: *Speaking into a microphone* Kai Firestone is up to bat. He needs a home run if he wants to win this game.

Kai: *Grabs a diamond bat* Okay...you can do this...*Hits Garmadon with the baseball bat and runs away* IT'S ALIVE!

Swords: THE DIAMOND DARES WIN! THE DIAMOND DARES WIN! THE DIAMOND DARES WIN!

_**NEXT!**_

Cole: ...It feels like something's biting me *Looks up*

Voltz: *Noming on Cole's hair*

Cole: I hate you...so much

Voltz: *flips Cole off*

Swords: *sniff* That's my boy!

_**END OF SPEED DARING**_

Swords: Whoo, many dares, much wow.

Ratchet: *Staring at Swords dreamily*

Swords: I guess we can *punches Ratchet* continue with the longer dares. First up is Kai, you have to play...

Kai: Play...?

Swords: ...**Flappy Bird **

*Insert background lightning*

Kai: What's Flappy Bird?

Swords: The single most hardest, frustrating, make-you-throw-your-phone-out-the-window game that has ever existed, EVER!

Kai: Oh god...what does it look like?

Swords: *Throws Kai a phone*

Kai: *Looks at Flappy Bird game* ...It's just a little yellow bird and some pipes

Swords: Oh...just wait until you play it

Kai: *Shrugs* Okay *Starts playing* ...Oh wait I hit the...whoops, died again...okay, I think I-nope, died again...come on you stupid bird...no go up higher...I didn't even hit the pipe! THIS GAME SUCKS! *Throws phone out the window*

Swords: No one will like that game EVER! ANYWAY next dare is for Zane, you have to fight Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians because he hit on Pixal

Zane: WHERE IS THAT ICY TURD?! I'LL KILL HIM!

Jack: Right behind you Frosty

Zane: ...Frosty? FROSTY?! MY NAME'S ZANE YOU PIECE OF *Tackles Jack*

Swords: NO! Don't hurt his hot yet cool face!

Ratchet and LC: *Hold back Swords*

Jack: *Grabs Zane's neck with wooden staff*

Zane: You may have a staff, but I have shurikens! *Pulls out shurikens and cuts up Jack's staff*

Jack: My staff!

Ratchet: He's weak without his staff Zane! Finish him off!

Swords: You do and I'll beat the crap out of you!

Zane: I'll take my chances *grabs Jack and pulls him close*

Zane: Don't mess with my girl...bitch *Punches Jack through the roof*

Everyone: 0_0

Swords: ...Ohhh

Zane: *Sits down in seat like nothing happened* ...Shall we continue the show?

Swords: Uhh...yeah...yeah we...we shall

LC: I'm scared, hold me

Ratchet: No!

Swords: *Clears throat* Next dare is for Clank...but since he has to be LC for the chapter I guess it's for LC. you have to do a one round boxing match with Cole

LC: *Gulp*

Cole: *Cracking knuckles* Mwuhahahaha...

Swords: Let the fight COMMENCE!

_**ROBOT LOMBAX VS. EARTH NINJA!**_

Frank: *Dressed as a referee* In this corner, weighing 115 pounds, COLE HENCE BREAK YOU WITH A FENCE!

Cole: *smashes a fence piece on the floor* YEAH!

Frank: And in this corner, weighing 97 pounds...LOMBAX CLANK STAB YOU WITH A SHANK!

LC: *Pulls out a shanking knife and makes stabbing motions* Bring it on!

Swords:*In the stands* Whoo! Go LC! *Hands Ratchet $300 dollars* Put it down on Cole

Ratchet: Swords!

Swords: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Frank: Ready...FIGHT!

Cole: *goes up to LC* I'm gonna break you, robot *Tries to punch LC*

LC: *dodges*

Cole: *Tries to punch LC*

LC: *Dodges*

Cole: What the-*tires to punch LC several times*

LC: *Dodges*

Cole: How are you doing that LC?

LC: Hehe...hehehehe...hehehehehehehe *Eyes turn bright green*

Cole: ...Oh-no

Frank: And it looks like Clank has taken over LC's body just so he could beat up Cole! That is one f*cked up robot-*gets hit by a chair*

Swords: No he's not!

LC (Clank): Do you really think that I would let LC fight you? No, beating you up is my job! My job! *Beats Cole up*

*Eye of the Tiger music starts playing*

Swords:_ Rising up, back on the street_  
_ Did my time, took my chances_

Ratchet: Stop that!

Swords: Okay...

LC (Clank): *Delivers the knock out punch*

_BOOM_

Cole: *Falls to the floor*

Frank: And it's a win by knockout! LC/Clank wins!

LC: Yeah-*turns back into Clank*

Clank: Yaay!

Ratchet: Why did he change back?

Swords: *Holding up her wand* I got tired of looking at LC's face. ALRIGHTY THEN, nest dare is for Zane. You have to watch Tobuscus (praise the almighty buscus) for five hours.

Zane: Okay, doesn't seem too hard *Goes into other room*

Swords: And now, we wait...

...

...

...

Clank: *Checking his phone* ...Is that a picture of you and Ratchet-

Swords: Nope *throws Clank's phone out the window*

**-5 hours later-**

Zane: *Walks out of the room*

Swords: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll...?

Zane: ...Hello once again swordians! Zane Julien here and I'm gonna hug Swords *hugs Swords*

Swords: *Taking deep breathes* This means nothing, this means nothing, this means nothing, this means nothing

Ratchet: *Pulls out phone*

Swords: Boy, I will neuter you with my sword!

Ratchet: *Quickly puts phone away*

Swords: That's what I thought...ALRIGHTY THEN next dare is for Cole. Now I have a room full of red marble and one blue marble. You have to find the blue marble within thirty seconds

Cole: What happens after thirty seconds?

Swords: Find the marble, ask questions later!

Cole: UGH! *Leaves the room and enters another room full of red marbles* Okay, okay I can do this

Swords: Twenty seconds left!

Cole: OH GOD! *Searches the room for the blue marble* Come on, where is it?!

Swords: Ten seconds remaining!

Cole: AHHHH! WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT?! I CAN'T FIND IT!

Swords: Three...two...one...time's up!

Cole: Uh...what's gonna happen now?

Ratchet: LOMBAX RAGE!

Cole: ...Aw fuck *Gets beaten up by Ratchet*

Swords: For the first time in my life, I'm proud of Ratchet.

Ratchet: Thank you! *continues to beat up Cole*

Swords: Ehehe, the last dare is for Lloyd

Lloyd: Yaay!

Swords: You have to fight me!

Lloyd: F*ck!

Swords: But...but...butt...butt

Lloyd: Stop spelling it with two t's!

Swords: Ehehe, but you get to use your golden powers. So it's kind of a fair fight. The Master of Gold versus the Mistress of Diamonds. It shall be a good fight...there will be much blood shed...mostly your blood

Lloyd: -_-

Swords: Ehehe

_**GOLD VS. DIAMOND**_

**(Insert "Adventure's End" from Mario and Luigi Dream Team)**

Lloyd: *flips hood down*

Swords: *Draws diamond sword*

Everyone: *Eating popcorn in anticipation*

Lloyd: HYAH! *Fires a golden beam*

Swords: *Deflects it with sword* Come at me bitch!

Lloyd: Very well *summons Golden Dragon*

GD: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR

Swords: Oh, two can play at that game *Grabs Pokeball* Twilight, let's how them what we're made of!

Twilight: *Comes out of Pokeball* Chaaaaaaar!

Swords; *Taps Mega Stone embedded in sword handle*

Twilight: *Mega Evolves in Charizard X* RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRR!

Swords: Let's do this! *Jumps onto Twilight X*

Lloyd: Yes! *Jumps onto Golden Dragon*

Everyone: *Tweeting about the battle*

Swords: Diamond Storm bitch! *Summons spiky diamonds to rain down from the sky*

Lloyd: Golden shield! *Shields himself from the diamonds* Greenflame!

Kai: DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T YOU F*CKING SAY THAT!

Lloyd: Uh whoops, sorry *fires green flames*

Swords: Haha! *Uses dragon wings to block the fire*

Lloyd: Hey! No fair!

Swords: Bite my sexy scaly ass!

Ratchet: I get it!

Swords: Shut up Ratchet, we're killing each other! Now, Twilight, use Flamethrower!

Twilight: RAAAWR! *Uses Flamethrower*

Lloyd: Golden Dragon, use your Golden Blast!

GD: *Uses Golden Blast*

*The flames and the gold energy combines, making a huge explosion (but not enough to destroy the studio)*

Lloyd: *Coughing up smoke* What...what happened?

Swords: Crotch kick! *Kicks Lloyd in the nuts*

Lloyd: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Falls to the ground*

Swords: I win! Diamond triumphs over gold! Whoooooo!

Lloyd: ...Ow

Swords: Ehehe. Well looks like that's all we have for this chapter. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: I just put so many hashtags on Twitter

Swords *Reads hashtags* #DiamondDareShow #GoldvsDiamond #GoldenDragon #MegaCharizardX #DiamondStorm #GoldenShield #Explosion #DiamondWins...what's that picture?

Ratchet: NOTHING!

Swords: *Sees a picture of Zane hugging her* ...Ratchet

Ratchet: Y-yes?

Swords: *Pulls out diamond sword* You are about to lose your manhood

Ratchet: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs away*

Swords: *Chases after him*

Clank: *Follows* Wait, I want to watch!

* * *

**R.I.P Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians who ever lived :(**

**What is with all the dare shows popping up lately?! It's like they're coming out of nowhere!**

**Ratchet and Clank didn't appear at Gamescom...no new movie trailer to fangirl over...*punches wall* OW MY HAND!**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off! **


	12. Chapter 12: Pokemon Blarttle

Swords: Come on! Beat the crap out of him! Punch him! Kick him! Come on!

Ratchet: Are watching an MMA (Mixed Martial Fights) fight?

Swords: No, I'm watching Family Feud. Anyway, I'm glad your here.

Ratchet: That's a first

Swords: Yes it is...and it was extremely painful to say. Anyway, get Clank in here

Ratchet: He's at the your cousin's dare show, remember?

Swords: Ah yes, the Digital Dare Show. But didn't you read the author's notes for the first chapter?

Ratchet: You expect me to read something that's NOT a Batman comic book?

Swords: ...Kinda. Anyway, look at this:

**Though Clank is on this show, this doesn't mean that I'm removing him from DDS. He's still gonna be with Swords and Ratchet.**

Swords: See? The author did say that he would still be here

Ratchet: Where did those words come from?

Swords: Tech may have technology, but I have magic! Now call your tiny adorable robot who I prefer to like over you!

Ratchet: Clank! Get your metal butt in here!

Clank: *Walks into the room* My metal rectum is in here. What do you want?

Swords: Hahaha, he said rectum

Ratchet: Yeah...yeah he did. So what did you want us for?

Swords: For this *Drops a bag of Pokeballs in front of Ratchet and Clank* PICK A POKEBALL! ANY POKEBALL!

Ratchet: *Picks up a Pokeball*

Clank: *Picks up a Pokeball*

Ratchet: So, do we get to see what they are?

Swords: NOT YET!

Ratchet: Owee. Loud noise. Ears hurt.

Swords: I'm sorry

Ratchet: No you're not

Swords: Ya' damn right I'm not!

Ratchet: Bitch!

Swords: Kitty bitch!

Clank: Suddenly I miss being at The Digital Dare Show

**(Pre-Chorus)**

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

**(1st Verse)**

Show of games

Sword shines like the sunlight

Twilight's flames

Burns bright through the sky

Don't grieve on

Cause those diamond dareless days are gone

It didn't die

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

**(2nd Verse)**

Time to go, the main stage is ready

Gonna have the time of our lives

Three strange hosts: Clank is cute but deadly

Ratchet still boasts, Swords' humor thrives

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

...

Today, let's dare it up, let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

We're gonna dare it up today

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with my homies Ratchet and Clank, and we're ready to bring the PAIN!

Ninja: *Sharing an iPod* _Can't outrun, can't outrun, no can't outrun my Lombax Rage! You should know I'm not a kitty! __Can't outrun, can't outrun, no can't outrun my Lombax-_

Ratchet: Stop singing my song!

Kai: Uh...no

Ratchet: *Fires rage in his eyes*

Jay: NO NO NO NO NO NO *throws IPod* We love the song Lombax Rage, not the actual thing

Ratchet: *Eyes still on fire* YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS HURTS!

Kai: Been there, done that

Swords: Shut up Kai

Clank: *Grabs a fire extinguisher and puts Ratchet's eyes out*

Ratchet: Thank you

Swords: Whoo, it smells like burnin' Lombax in here!

Ratchet: Gee, I wonder why

Swords: Ehehe, well let's start the dares shall we?

Kai: I have an idea, let's not

Swords: ...*Throws a table at Kai*

Kai: AAAAHHHHH! *Gets crushed by table* WHAT'S THIS THING MADE OUT OF?!

Swords: Granite!

Kai: OF COURSE IT IS!

Swords: Now, if Kai's done being a little bitch, let's start the dares. First one is for...me. First one is for me. Here Kentucky Fried Cat, read it for me

Ratchet: Ha! I get it, KFC.

Swords: Just read the dare Kitty VonMeowMeow

Ratchet: ...Okay that was just plain offensive

Swords: Thank you, I try my best

Ratchet: *Sighs* Whatever. Your dare is for you to listen to I Can Swing My Sword by Tobus-

Swords: Trust me Ratchet, I know who it's by. And I would be happy to listen to the song the inspired my username.

Clank: I Can Swing MY Sword was your inspiration to make your username Amberdiamondswords?

Swords: Well, it's by Tobuscus and it's about killing things with a sword made of freaking diamonds. Who wouldn't want to have 'diamond sword' in their name after listening to that song?

Ratchet: Me

Swords: ...You think that you're Lombax Rage is scary. Well don't even get me started on Dragon Rage...I could just look at you and you would die.

Ratchet: ...Okay, I take it back

Swords: Ya' darn right you do...OKAY! Let's get this started! *Puts headphones on*

_Do you like my sword, sword?_  
_ Sword, my diamond sword, sword_

_ You can not afford, 'ford_  
_ Ford, my diamond sword, sword_  
_ Even if you could, could_  
_ I have a patent!_

_ No one else can make a sword_  
_ Exactly in this manner, manner_  
_ Welcome to my manor, manor_  
_ I ca ca ca canna canna_

_ Swing, swing, swing my sword, sword_  
_ Whenever I get bored, bored_  
_ I can swing my sword, sword_  
_ I can swing my sword, sword!_

_ Once I hit the floor boards_  
_ But I had it restored_  
_ And it was expensive_  
_ But it was a write off!_

_ Swinging is my business_  
_ And by that I mean swinging swords_  
_ Please do not ignore_  
_ Do you like my sword?_

_ Ha!_

_ That was rhetorical_  
_ You know I am the oracle_  
_ I know you like my sword_  
_ It's made of freakin' diamonds_

_ If you don't you're lying_  
_ But that would be fine_  
_ Because it is awesome_  
_ And you're probably jealous!_

_ I can swing my sword, sword_  
_ 'Cause I am the lord, lord_

_ Lord of diamond swooooorrrrrddddssssah!_  
_ HA HA HA HA HA!_

Ratchet: Okay, you're dare is done. Give me the headphones *Grabs headphones*

Swords: No, no they're mine!

Ratchet: Nope nope *Takes headphones*

Swords: Aww...I'LL SEE YOU I COURT!

Ratchet: Oh yeah, sure you will

Swords: *angry tone* Mmmmmmmm...

Clank: Ratchet, I think that you might want to stop your little war with Swords. You're gonna get yourself killed.

Ratchet: Yeah right, she would never kill me!

Swords: *Holds up sword to Ratchet's neck*

Ratchet: Okay, I'll reel back the 'enemy' in our 'frenemyship'

Swords: Good boy. Now let's continue! Next dare is for Kai, you have to get sucked into the game Flappy Bird

Kai: No...no I won't go back...no...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Clank: Um...yes

Swords: MAGIC DIAMOND IPOD GO! *iPod sucks Kai into Flappy Bird*

Kai: What the...am I...am I in Flappy Bird? Where's the bird?

Ratchet: Look below you!

Kai: *Looks down and sees that he's sitting on the bird* ...Well sh*t.

Swords: *Taps the screen multiple times*

Kai: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! Stop playing the game! This bird flies weird and it makes me feel uncomfortable in a certain area!

Swords: Gross...hey look, a pipe!

Kai: A pipe, where-OH MY GOD! *Hits head on pipe* Owee. Hard pipe. Gonna pass out. *Passes out*

Swords: Don't worry Kai, I know how to help you! Make your body into a cannonball position.

Kai: *Curls up into a cannonball position*

Swords: *Whispers to Ratchet and Clank* Quick, pick something dangerous to shoot him in

Ratchet: The Grand Canyon!

Clank: A fireworks stand!

Ratchet: Ooh, yeah, let's go with that

Swords: Alright, let me just...there. Alright Kai, you ready?

Kai: Yes I am! Get me out of here!

Swords: Three...two...one-*Fires Kai out of the iPod*

Kai: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, where am I going *Flies out the window and into a fireworks stand* OH-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_**BOOOOOOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM**_

Everyone: Ooooooooooooh

Clank: Neat *takes a picture*

Ratchet: Do you think he's still alive?

Swords: Probably, but let's not worry about that. Next dare is for Garmadon, you have to cut Sensei's beard off with a chainsaw

Sensei: WHAT?!

Garmadon: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I may not be evil anymore, but I will enjoy this! *Grabs chainsaw* WHOOOOOOOO!

Clank: I'm frightened

Ratchet: Me too

Swords: I don't know what you guys are talking about, this is a beautiful sight!

Garmadon: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cuts Sensei's beard off*

Sensei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO *covers beardless face*

Jay: Aw come on Sensei, let's see you without your beard!

Kai: Yeah, come on!

Lloyd: Let's see it!

Swords: Yeah, come on!

Sensei ...Okay *uncovers face*

Everyone: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cole: *throws up*

Ratchet: I wish that my eyes were still on fire

Swords: Wish granted *breaks a lantern on Ratchet's face*

Ratchet: AAAHHHHH! IT BURNS! AAAHHHHHH! But thank you...AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Swords: I'm fixing it! I'M FIXING IT! *snaps fingers and Sensei's beard grows back*

Everyone: *sighs with relief*

Swords: Oh god...that was an ordeal...oh my buscus...well, next dare is for Garmadon. You have to go into the Underworld and how the skeletons that you're good

Garmadon: WAAAAAAY ahead of you baby dragon! *Strolls out of the room*

Swords: ...Baby dragon?

Ratchet and Clank: *Shrugs*

**-In the Underworld-**

Garmadon: WASSUP BITCHES! I'M A GOOD GUY NOW! SUCK IT!

Skeleton: ...Get him!

*Skeletons chase after Garmadon*

Swords: _They see him runnin', they shootin'_

Clank: Should we help him?

Swords: ...*Looks at Ratchet*

Ratchet: *Looks at Swords*

Swords and Ratchet: ...Naaaah!

Clank: But what about-

Swords: Hey Clank, do you want your Celebi toy?

Clank: Yes I do!

Swords: Alrighty then let me just...wait, it's at Tech's studio. Sorry.

Clank: ...*Starts crying*

Swords: Oh-no, no not my biggest weakness! *Grabs Ratchet* Do something!

Ratchet: Uhh...uh...uhh...I'll let you hug the puffball on the end of my tail

Clank: ...Okay *hugs tail puffball* Fluffy!

Ratchet: It's a fur puffball, yeah it's gonna be fluffy!

Swords: Hm...maybe I should start calling you Fluffy instead of Kitty Bitch

Ratchet: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmm

Swords: Ehehe. Next up is a truth for the ninja. How would you choose, Nya or Pixal?

Cole: Nya!

Jay: No, I get Nya!

Lloyd: Nya!

Kai: I don't have a choice, so I choose Pixal

Zane: Pixal...*Whispers* Kai, you bastard

Kai: What?

Zane: Nothing!

Swords: And now we have a truth for...for me. I have to scale my least favorite ninja to my favorite...hmmm...last would be Kai, of course

Kai: No surprise there

Swords: Then next would be Lloyd

Lloyd: HEY!

Swords: You went down my list after you lost your golden power

Lloyd: -_-

Swords: Next would be Jay

Jay: Third, not too bad

Swords: Then it's Cole, because I totally ship him with Nya

Cole: Ya' damn right ya' do

Swords: And, of course, my favorite ninja is Zane. Because I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE robots! *Hugs Clank* Especially this one

Clank: I dropped my puffball

Ratchet: You were cutting off the circulation anyway

Clank: ...But it's so fluffy!

Swords: Now, onto the last dare. Ratchet and Clank have to face off in a Pokémon blarttle!

Ratchet and Clank: What?!

Swords: Yeah, why do you think I gave you Pokeballs earlier?

Ratchet: ...Because you felt like it?

Swords: Not gonna lie, that was part of the reason. Now go to the DDS Blarttle Field!

Ratchet: What the hell is blarttle?

Swords: You know...a blarttle. Pokémon blarttle. We blarttle all the time over the last Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream in the freezer

Ratchet: Are you saying battle?

Swords: Yes, that's what I'm saying! Blarttle!

Clank: Just roll with it. She is fifteen and she prefers to speak non-English words. Let's just go to the battlefield

Swords: Blarttle field!

Ratchet: Oh will you shut up?!

Swords: ...BLARTTLE!

**-At the DDS Blarttle Field-**

Ratchet: Stop calling it that! Alright, let's see what I got. Go...whatever you are! *Throws Pokeball and a shiny Luxray comes out*

Luxray: Luuxraaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Ratchet: Kickass!

Clank: *Throws Pokeball and a Leafeon comes out of it*

Leafeon: Leeaaoooooo!

Clank: Yay! It's green! I love green!

Ratchet: Hippie

Clank: I heard that! Leafeon, Energy Ball!

Leafeon *Uses Energy Ball*

Ratchet: Uhhh, uh block it with something!

Luxray: Ray! *Destroys Energy Ball with Iron Tail*

Clank: Oh boy...

Ratchet: Alright, use Electric Terrain!

Luxray: *covers the area in a sparkling yellow cloud of static electricity*

Leafeon: Feon...

Ratchet: Now use Discharge!

Luxray: LuuuuuuuuxRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *Charges the static electricity cloud, causing an electric explosion*

_**BOOOOOOOOM**_

Swords: Oh my first spinjitzu master

*Smoke clears*

Ratchet: Ugh...alright Clank...I win!

...

...

...

Ratchet: Clank?

Clank: *On the floor* X_X

Ratchet: Oh crap! The electricity bust have blown out his circuits! CLANK! *Runs over to Clank and shakes him* Wake up! Wake up! Wake the f*ck up!

Clank: ...

Ratchet: ...Oh-no...OH-NO! I KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!

Clank: ...Leafeon use Leaf Storm!

Ratchet: Wait what-

Leafeon: FeeeeOOOOOOOOOON! *Uses Leaf Storm*

Ratchet: CRAP! *Gets blown away by Leaf Storm*

Swords; He faked his death...to win a Pokémon Blarttle...that is AWESOME!

Clank: *Hugging Leafeon* Thank you!

Ratchet: *Being crushed by his fainted Luxray* You...suck...but you're still my little pal...

Clank: Hehehehehehe

Leafeon: Fehehehehehe

Ratchet: *Growl*

Luxray: *Growl*

Swords: You know what? I'm gonna let you keep those Pokémon. You deserve them. Well looks like that's all we have for this chapter. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Clank: I like my Pokémon. I'm going to call her Yuria.

Ratchet: Ha! That's a girly name! I'm gonna name my Luxray...Maximo!

...

...

Ratchet: Maximo's a guy right?

Swords: Yes he is

Ratchet: Oh thank god!

Kai: Oh great...more new Pokémon...*sarcastically twirls his finger* Whoooo

Ratchet: Maximo, use Discharge!

Clank: Yuria use Energy Ball!

Maximo: *Uses Discharge*

Yuria: *Uses Energy Ball*

Kai: ...Aw fuck

_BOOOOOOOOOM!_

* * *

**Yuria the Leafeon and Maximo the (shiny) Luxray are now helping Pokémon characters **

**Why did I make Maximo a shiny Luxray. Look at the coloration similarities between a shiny Luxray and Ratchet's fur. They look exactly the same!**

**And I gave Clank a Leafeon because she suits him nicely. Leafeon is green and she's nice and Clank's eyes are green and he's nice...most of the time.**

**BTW: Check out my new DDs parody, Lombax Rage. It's a parody of Poker Face by Lady Gaga. And also be sure check out my new series: Ninjago Abridged.**

**AND I updated When Dimensions Collide II. The new chapter is over 5,000 words long. Took me flipping forever, but it was worth it.**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off! **


	13. Chapter 13: Questions and a New Co-Host

Frank: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER WHAT WOULD SWORDS DO! That's right, if you have a question that you want to ask the author or the co-hosts, they'll answer it! But you'll have to wait until next chapter for your questions to be answered, so make sure to send them in while you can!

...

...

...

Frank: Wait a minute...where are the hosts

**~Back at the studio**~

Ratchet: *Sitting in the break room* ….I should probably put some pants on

Clank: *Runs into the room* Ratchet! You have to see thi-you are not wearing any pants

Ratchet: No I am not. Hold on a second *Opens a random drawer and pulls out a pair of pants*

Clank: Why are there pants in that drawer?

Ratchet: I dunno, I just found them randomly *Puts pants on* Now what you all freaked out about?

Clank: I am freaking out because of this! *Hand Ratchet a piece of paper*

Ratchet: What the…

**Wanna join the Diamond Dare Show crew? You wanna cause pain and humiliation to LEGO ninja?**

**Call 734-555-7246 and ask about the new co-host opening**

**The Diamond Dare Show: Where Our Motto is "Death and Destruction All Around"**

Ratchet: ….SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDS!

Swords: *Enters the room* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES Ratchet?

Ratchet: What the bloody hell is this?!

Swords: That would be a piece of paper

Ratchet: But what is this ON the piece of paper?!

Swords: W-W….Words?

Ratchet: Lombax…Lombax….Lombax R-R-Ra-

Swords: STOP RIGHT THERE RAGING KITTY! Okay, so I put out an opening for a co-host position. So what?

Ratchet: So what?! Me and Clank are the co-hosts! Why are you asking for new one?!

Swords: Because you're being replaced

Ratchet and Clank: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Swords: Lol, jk, I'm not replacing you

Ratchet: Oh sweet fossilized Helix, thank god

Clank: *Passes out from too much shock*

Swords: Well then, Clank's out for the rest of the pre-chapter. Now I'm gonna leave because someone might call about the job

Ratchet: No one's gonna wanna work for you, Swords. You pay us below minimum wage, you insult us (except for Clank), you beat us up, and you get pissed off way to easily. No one will be here for the job

Swords: You don't know that!

Ratchet: Oh yes I do!

Swords: Oh-no you don't!

Ratchet: Bitch, you wanna bet?!

Swords: Sure, I bet your flat furry ass!

Ratchet: Well you wanna know what I think?! I think that you're a-

_DING DONG_

Swords and Ratchet: …..

Swords: That….that was the front door bell….

Swords and Ratchet: *Run to the front door*

Ratchet: This is a bad idea. I'm telling you, whoever is gonna want the job is obviously gonna be a bad person

Swords: Calm down, it's not like it's going to be the grim reaper or something like that

*Opens the door and sees a tall black cloaked person with a white skeleton mask for a face*

Ratchet: Oh my gosh

?: Hello, is the Diamond Dare Show studio?

Swords: Yeah

?: And are you Swords Evelyn?

Swords: Are you the police?

?: No

Swords: Then I am Swords Evelyn

Ratchet: And you are?

?: Oh that's right, where are my manners-

Swords: Oh, manners? Yeah you can just leave those outside. We don't have them in here.

?: Really?

Swords: Oh yeah, watch this *Grabs Ratchet and burps in face*

Ratchet: Awwwwwwwww! *Sniff sniff* ….Did you have mac and cheese?

Swords: Yes I did

?: *Clears his throat* As I was saying, I am the Grim Reaper

Ratchet: I TOLD YOU!

Swords: *Punches Ratchet* Hold on a second kitty bitch….I've seen this guy somewhere before *Pulls out her phone and goes onto Wikipedia*

Clank: *Comes to the front door* What is going on?

?: Hello there little guy

Clank: Oh my gosh *Hides behind Ratchet*

Swords: *Pulls up a picture and holds it up next to the mysterious person*

Ratchet: It's a perfect match

Swords: Yeah, I know you! You're Lord Death from Soul Eater!

Lord Death: Well that took you long enough

Ratchet: Lord Death? Never heard of ya'

Lord Death: Well I've never heard of you either

Ratchet: You don't even know my name

Lord Death: What's your name?

Ratchet: Ratchet the Lombax. Proud video game character of Insomniac Games. My franchise has a whopping twelve games and a movie coming out in 2015.

Lord Death: Nope, never heard of you

Ratchet: *Growling* And that's my robot companion, Clank

Clank: Ratchet...he doesn't have legs…he has no legs, Ratchet

Lord Death: Oh yeah, I've heard of Clank!

Ratchet: Oh come on!

Swords: So, Lord Death from Soul Eater as a Ninjago Dare show co-host….I dunno. It's unique, sure, but what can you do?

Lord Death: Watch this *Giant blocky hands come out of his cloak*

Ratchet: *Snickers* Do we need to keep an air pump around to keep those giant hands inflated? HAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP!

Ratchet: Reaper what now-*Karate chop to the head*

Swords: Oh yeah, this is gonna work out just fine

* * *

**That's right...I'm doing that again. So if you have a question for me or the co-hosts, just ask through review and it'll be answered next chapter!**

**Lord Death from Soul Eater will be a darable character after next chapter (Helix knows that I already have enough dares for the new episode) **

**Oh, and by the way...**

**I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSOOORRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYY! MY HOUSE LOST WIFI SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO UPDATE ANYTHING! But hey, I got my internet back so I will be updating...between school hours of course.**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, singing off!**


	14. Chapter 14: What Would Swords Do? Part 3

Frank: Ladies and gentle swordians, welcome once again to the prestigious even, What Would Swords Do? The event where Swords and her extraordinarily odd co-hosts answer you questions! And now, introducing the head swordian herself, Amberdiamondswords!

Swords: *Isn't there*

...

...

...

Audience member: Hey, where's Swords?!

Frank: Uh... uh um...uhh

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Audience member: Let's throw tomatoes at him

Audience: *Throws tomatoes at Frank*

Frank: *Ducks in cover* Where are those kids?

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: *Watching TV with Lord Death*

Ratchet: Whatcha doing?

Swords: Meh, what every other fifteen year old girl does: watching TV with the grim reaper

Lord Death: Word

Ratchet: Oh...well what are we watching

Swords: I dunno, some dude is getting pelted by tomatoes

Clank: *Appears over Ratchet's shoulder* Wait a minute...that's Frank! We're supposed to be at the What Would Swords Do event!

Swords: ...Oh...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Falls off the couch* WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING SITTING AROUND?! LET'S MOVE!

Ratchet: TO THE ROOF! *Runs out of the room*

Swords: *Runs out of the room*

Lord Death: Uhh...

Swords: *Comes back in and grabs Lord Death* Come on...come on Death, this means you too *Drags him out of the room*

**-On the roof-**

Swords: Twilight! *Throws Pokeball*

Ratchet: Ozone! *Throws Pokeball*

Clank: Slicer! *Throws Pokeball*

Lord Death: ...Don't wait for me

Ratchet: *On a Rayquaza* Oh...um, right...Lord Death needs a ride...

Swords: *On a Charizard* Alright, we can figure this out...Death, I guess you'll have to keep up somehow

Clank: *On a Skarmory* Swords! He can't keep up with us while we are on our Pokémon! What do you think he is? A jet?

Lord Death: Well, about that...*Body spiked up to look like a jet and blue flames hover below him*

Ratchet: No f*cking way

Swords: Well sh*t...alright, let's go

**-Several minutes later-**

Frank: *Under a pile of tomatoes* I'M GOING TO KILL THOSE KILL

Swords: EPIC ENTRANCE GO! *Turns on Antasma Theme and jumps off of Twilight*

Ratchet: WAIT YOU'RE STILL IN THE-

Swords: *Falls*

Ratchet: Air...well, I guess I'm the new host

Lord Death: Like hell you are *Dives down*

Ratchet: Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going noobie?! Get back here!

Lord Death: No thanks! Little busy here! Thanks for the offer though!

Clank: His voice is kind of annoying

Ratchet: Yeah it is

Lord Death: *Catches Swords on his back*

Swords: Okay, I'm riding the grim reaper like a hovering skateboard that's also a jet...if that's not swag then I don't know what is *Looks down* Yeah, can we get a runway or something?!

Lord Death: I'm not a jet, this form just makes me look like one!

Swords: Yeah, that's what they said about Latios, but I still made a runway for him.

Lord Death: Really? Did he ever use it?

Swords: Nope

*Lord Death lands on the ground and Swords jumps off*

Swords: Hey every-

Frank: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES GETTING PELTED BY ROCKS AND TOMATOES BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP ON-*Looks at Lord Death*

Lord Death: ...

Frank: ...

Lord Death: ...Can I help you with something Mr. Mustache?

Frank: ...Who the heck is that?

Swords: That's Lord Death, he's the grim reaper

Frank: Oh my gosh

Audience: Oh my gosh

Lord Death: Why does everyone keep saying that whenever I say that I'm the grim reaper?

Swords: I dunno, I guess that's gonna be your thing. Now then, without further ado, let's begin the questions!

Frank: Number 785-

Swords: *Holds diamond sword up to Frank's neck* NUH-UH, I AIN'T GOING THROUGH THIS NUMBER SH*T AGAIN! START WITH NUMBER ONE DAMN IT!

Frank: But Ms. Swords, I just pick a random number from the list and-

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Frank*

Swords: What were you saying Frank?

Frank: *On the ground* Ugh...I was saying...Swordian number one-

Ratchet: I thought that Swords was Swordian number one?

Frank: Ugh, okay, Swordian number two-

Clank: I thought that I was Swordian number 2?

Frank: Alright, Swordian number three?

Ratchet: *Raises hand* Swordian number three is-

Swords: Lord Death

Ratchet: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Swords: That's right, I moved Lord Death up a spot. Sorry Ratchet, but he's just cooler. Plus he's a jet and he karate chops people with his ridiculously large hands. He's just that awesome

Lord Death: You got that right homie *Fist bumps Swords*

Ratchet: Grrrrr...LOMBAX RAGE! *Bursts into flame*

Death Lord: Oh my god your cat is on fire!

Swords: Oh yeah, that'll happen sometimes. Just let the flame burn out and he'll be fine. Now then, let's start the questions! Frank...

Frank: *Trembling* O-o-okay. Swordian number five, you're first for questions

Nicole Jett: I have a questions for each of the hosts. First for Swords. When did you become a fan of Ninjago?

Swords: Ahh, I've been waiting for someone to ask me that. Well, it was a pretty stormy out and I was home alone. My mother was at work, and my brother and father were at Taco Bell. I was extremely bored and there was nothing on TV except for a show called LEGO Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu. I shrugged and turned it on. It was called King of Shadows. Turns out I found it pretty interesting, a LEGO show that was actually good and had a story to it. So I kind of stuck with it after that day.

Nicole Jett: Next one is for Ratchet. Why weren't you wearing pants in the last chapter?

Ratchet: Wait, how did you know that I wasn't wearing pants? *Covers 'area'* Look, I like to take them off when I'm relaxing...did you uh...see anything?

Nicole Jett: Uh, no

Lord Death: Even if she did, I bet she wouldn't see anything impressive

Ratchet: WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Lord Death: Oh come on Mr. Kitty Cat, take a joke every once in awhile. You're always so uptight, maybe if you didn't wear suck a tight shirt-

Ratchet: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to kill you

Lord Death: Now now, no need to get all excited. Besides, we all know that you are no match against me. I'll Reaper Chop you into next week!

Ratchet: Good, cause maybe you'll be fired by next week!

Lord Death: You're starting to irritate me...

Ratchet: Look who's talking!

Swords: *Slaps Ratchet and Lord Death* Now now kids, play nice

Clank: What exactly am I looking at right now?

Swords: A cat and the grim reaper getting bitchslapped, that's what. Now, continue with your questions Nicole

Nicole: Okay then, this one's for Clank. What;s the most embarrassing thing you've seen Ratchet and Swords do?

Clank: Oh, that's easy, the time that Swords and Ratchet practiced kissing on each other-

Swords and Ratchet: *Covers Clank's mouth* STOP TALKING!

Lord Death: You practice what now on each other?

Swords: NOTHING! NEXT QUESTION!

Nicole Jett: Next one is for that Lord Death guy

Lord Death: Hm? A question for me?

Nicole Jett: Yeah uh...who exactly are you?

Lord Death: I guess the audience does deserve an explanation of who I am. You see, I am-

Ratchet: A giant skeleton mask wearing deuce bag

Lord Death: ...Excuse me for a moment, REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Ratchet* Now then, I am indeed the grim reaper, a death god as a matter of fact. I'm from an anime called Soul Eater. I own an academy called the DWMA, where students learn how to use the power of their souls to defend themselves from the forces of evil. I may seem harmless but I actually used to be quiet the scary person. My older form was much more bigger, and my right arm was buff like the one from Regular Show. I looked like the shadow of death, literally! But, when I started my academy, I had to change my appearance because m other form scared the children.

Swords: Yeah, I saw him in his old form. Personally, I would have given him a hug.

Lord Death: Yes, thank you Swords. I may have been a violent person back then, but I assure you that I'm quite the nice fellow when you get to know me. Even a bit humorous. Also, I play the mandolin

Clank: The mandolin?

Ratchet: What the hell is a mandolin?

Lord Death: *Pulls out an oval shaped guitar* This is a mandolin

Swords: The grim reaper...plays the mandolin...that's...that's just awesome

Lord Death: Also, don't make me mad because then I'll use my Reaper Chop to split your head open!

Ratchet: *Rubbing his head* True dat

Frank: Swordian number 6, you're up!

ceeloogreenn: Yeah, I have a question for Clank. Which of the ninja would you rather be friends with?

Clank: Why Zane of course! He's a robot...or a nindroid, so he understands me the best.

Ratchet: I understand you!

Clank: You tried to feed me batteries

Ratchet: I thought that you would like them!

Swords: What about me?

Clank: You make me urinate on the ninja's hoods instead of letting me use an actual toilet.

Swords: Well yeah, but you'd need a freaking ladder to get on top of it

Lord Death: And what about me?

Clank: ...I hardly know you

Lord Death: *Picks Clank up by the antennae* You need to speak up there little guy. You're way down there and I'm all the way up here. It ain't easy being tall or short

Clank: Put me down please

Lord Death: Aww, but you're so cute. And I can't see your face from down on the floor

Clank: Only Swords is allowed to call me cute

Lord Death: Too bad, I'm going to all you cute too

Ratchet: Hey, he told you to put him down, so put him down

Lord Death: Stay out of this Tony the Tiger. Why don't you go film another Frosted Flakes commercial while I chat with Tiny over here?

Ratchet: I'm going to kill you!

Lord Death: Am I gonna have to Reaper Chop a bitch?

Swords: *Slaps Ratchet and Lord Death* If you two don't start behaving then I'm gonna shove my sword up in your 'where the sun don't shine' place. Next question!

Frank: Swordian number seven! Come on down!

PICKLE OVERLORD: I know I've asked this before, but do you watch any anime shows?

Swords: Only Soul Eater, Pokémon, and the occasional Yu-Gi-Oh. I only recently got into Soul Eater, that's why I didn't say that I watched anime last time. Actually I finished Soul Eater yesterday.

Lord Death: Did you like it?

Swords: Totally. But I freaked out when Asura blasted you and you and your mask were all torn up. I thought that you were dead.

Lord Death: No no, I assure you that I made a full recovery and I was just fine

Ratchet: That's a shame

Swords: *Kicks Ratchet in the nuts* Bad kitty, very bad kitty! No wishing that Lord Death was dead!

Ratchet: *Cough* Alrighty then

Frank: Swordian number eight, you're next!

Swords: Ahhh...organized numbers

PyroPixels: I have a question for Ratchet. If Swords and Clank were both about to be killed and you could only save one of them, who would you save?

Ratchet: Clank, definitely Clank

Swords: You bastard, why wouldn't you save me?!

Ratchet: I'd rather save my best friend instead of my psychotic boss

Swords: But, if you saved me, I would beat the living sh*t out of whoever is about to kill Clank and save

Ratchet: Meh, good point. Alright, I'll save you

Swords: YOU BASTARD! WHY WOULD YOU LET CLANK DIE?!

Ratchet: But but but but but but you said-

Swords: And that is why you are now Swordian number 4

Ratchet: -_-

Lord Death: Man, does she ever give that guy a break?

Clank: Nope

Frank: Swordian number nine!

HailsStorm: I have a few questions. First two are for the author herself

Amberdiamondswords: Bout time I got a question

Lord Death: Oh my god who was that?!

Swords: Calm down, it was just the author

Lord Death: The, um, author?

Swords: Yeah, you know, she's typing what you're saying right now. She's the one who makes us who we are here. and she can make us do anything she wants. Give him an example ADS!

Ratchet: ...*Pants falls down* AAAHHHHHHH! Oh come on author! Give me a break, will ya?

Swords: Hm, Lord Death was right, nothing impressive

Ratchet: WHY ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN THERE?!

Swords Ehehe

HailsStorm: Okay author, who would win in a fight, Swords or Amber from When Dimensions Collide?

Amberdiamondswords: Hmm...I would say Amber Draco

Swords: WHAT?! WHY?!

Ambrdiamondswords: Well, even though you two are basically the same, she has the upper hand when it comes to the dragon end of you. She can fly, shoot tail spikes, and breathe fire. Plus she knows kung-fu.

Swords: But I have a diamond sword!

Amberdiamondswords: True, but Amber can easily blast it out of your hand

Swords: *Angry tone* Mmmmmm...

HailsStorm: Okay, I have another fight question. Who would win, Swords or Tech?

Amberdiamondswords: ...

Everyone: ...

Amberdiamondswords: ...I guess you'll find that out in a few chapters

Swords What did she say? She was murmuring

Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death: Nothing!

Swords: Ah, oh well. Next question

HailsStorm: Next one's for Clank. Why are you so cute and why do you love your Celebi toy so much?

Clank: Well, I cannot help that I'm so cute. I was built this way. A tiny robot with big green eyes with a cute laugh and a slight British accent, who wouldn't find that adorable?

Ratchet: Me

Swords: Death!

Lord Death: *Reaper Chops Ratchet*

Clank: *Pulls out Celebi toy* Also, I love my Celebi toy so much because Celebi is my favorite Pokémon. It's small, green, and it travels through time. I'm small, my favorite color is green, and I am the guardian of the space time continuum...plus it squeaks! *Squeak squeak squeak*

Lord Death: Well that's rather annoying

Ratchet: Get used to it buddy, you're gonna be hearing it a lot

Swords: Next question

HailsStorm: Next two are for Swords. Have you listened to Your Gonna Go Far Kid by the Offspring and do you or have you ever had a crush on one of the Ninja? If so who?

Swords: Your Gonna Go Far Kid by the Offspring? Gotta say, never heard of it. I mainly listen to Imagine Dragons, Owl City, and Evanescence. And sorry, I don't have a crush on one of the ninja. I did have a small one on Lloyd, but it passed after he lost his golden powers. But...I do have a crush on someone, and you'll find that out next chapter

Ratchet: *In his mind* Please don't be me, please don't be me, please don't be me

Swords: NEEEEEXXXXXT!

Frank: Swordian number ten!

CameronNinjaDragons: Do you watch an anime called Fairy Tail?

Swords: Once again, never heard of it. But since I'm done with Soul Eater I just might check it out.

Lord Death: Why is everyone wondering if you watch anime?

Swords: I dunno, I guess people around here really like anime. And I can't blame them. If it wasn't for anime, I wouldn't have Voltz, Twilight, or any of my Pokémon. I also wouldn't have you, Lord Death

Ratchet: CURSE YOU ANIM-

Swords: I you finish that sentence I'm going to kill you

Ratchet: Okay...

Swords: Next dude with a question!

Frank: Swordian number eleven!

glitchmonstrosity: ...

Swords: ...

glitchmonstrosity: ...

Swords: ...WASSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!

glitchmonstrosity: WASSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!

Ratchet: What the hell?

Swords: glitchmonstrosity happens to be a good friend of mine in real life...or the author's life rather

Amberdiamondswords: Sup glitch?

glitchmonstrosity: Wassup author? Now I'm gonna ask you a question Lord Death!

Lord Death: Oh do you now? Well ask away! I'll be happy to be interviewed by one of the author's friends!

glitchmonstrosity: What made you want to come onto DDS and be a co-host?

Lord Death: Ah, an excellent question indeed! Well after the Soul Eater series ended, I really had nothing left to do. That is, until I saw Swords' ad about the Diamond Dare Show's co-host opening. I had actually seen a few episodes of DDS and thought that his would be a wonderful job for me. Besides, the motto is Death and Destruction All Around, and well...I an Death. Anyway, I'm happily looking forward to working on the DDS set!

Frank: The event is over! Thank you all for sending in your questions and The Diamond Dare Show shall continue next chapter!

Swords: This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: Well Reaper, looks like next update will be your first official episode. What do ya' think? You excited?

Lord Death: I'm sorry, but did Frank call our number? No more questions!

Ratchet: Uhhh...

Lord Death: Ha! Just kidding! Of course I'm excited!

Ratchet: You know, for a grim reaper, you don't seem all that scary

Lord Death: And you don't seem too menacing for a galactic hero

Ratchet: ...

Lord Death: Kidding again! If you had a gun I would probably fear you. Or maybe not, I guess we'll never know!

Ratchet: This guy...this guy is nucking futs

Swords: Nucking futs...I like that...nah, f*cking nuts is better. Ehehe...I curse a lot.

* * *

**Whoo, that took awhile to write**

**So what do you guys think of Lord Death so far? If you want a better look at him, I put the links of a few videos of him on the very bottom of my profile page. Be sure to check them out, I think that you'll really like him.**

**Also, I'm here to inform you that Swords is a darable character in Peytonholloway11's "Truth or Dare: The authors"**

**Also, I put a poll on my profile on my profile for your favorite DDS co-host**

**Make sure to leave a review while picking up a complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	15. Chapter 15: Fools and Crushes

Lord Death: So, what exactly goes on during these Backstage Shenanigans?

Ratchet: Well basically we hang around, pull some pranks, do some illegal stuff and random crap like that.

Clank: Usually Swords will be around the building somewhere doing some shenanigans of her own

Ratchet: Just don't let her out of the building. Last time she went out she was put in jail for almost killing a guy at a Speedway

Lord Death: Okay, I think I got it. But, uh, so where is Swords now? I haven't seen her around.

Ratchet: …

Clank: …

Lord Death: …Oh dear

Ratchet: *Scrambles for the remote and turns the TV on*

**BREAKING NEWS**

**A precious item was stolen from the Diamond County Museum. Police are surrounding the area with their guns loaded and pointed at every area in the building. But there is no sign of the suspect. We believe that he or she has escaped.**

Swords: *Jumps through the window with something wrapped strapped to her back* Hey guys what's up?

Ratchet: What did you do?!

Swords: Alright...but you can't be mad at me

Ratchet: What...did you do?

Swords: Well, I was minding my own business-

Ratchet: BULLCRAP!

Swords: I waaaaaaaas!

Ratchet: What did you do while you were 'minding your own business'?

Swords: Well I just wandered into the museum and looked around like a straight up balla' geek. Then I saw this awesome thing on the wall. And I thought that it was so awesome that I took the liberty of getting it down and walking out of there with it.

Clank: You stole something from the museum?! What was it?

Swords: It was this *Unwraps object to reveal a silver sword with a golden handle*

Lord Death: Who stole the holy sword of Excalibur?!

Swords: The what now?

Lord Death: That sword is very legendary. Legend says that whoever possesses the sword is known to be a great hero and much fame and fortune is to come to the possessor

Swords: Hero? No. Fame and fortune? I already got that. The only reason I wanted this thing was because my name is Amberdiamondswords, but I only have one sword. So I just grabbed this one to serve as my second sword.

Lord Death: But….uh…there's something about the sword that you don't know about. Seriously, that is no ordinary weapon.

Swords: Ugh, Death you're getting boring! You were such a bro in the last episode. Now you're lame!

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Swords*

Swords: *On the floor* Okay…you have redeemed yourself

Lord Death: Damn right I have

Swords: Well, better put this sword where it belongs

Clank: In the museum

Swords: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….ahhh Clank….you're funny

Clank: -_-

Swords: No way, this sword is going right into my belt loop. Right now-

?: STOP!

Swords: ...Who the hell was that?

Lord Death: Oh boy, here he comes

Ratchet: What? Here who comes? Who's coming?

Lord Death: One of the most annoying people you'll ever meet

Ratchet: Oh-no, I've already met Swords

Swords: *Snaps fingers*

Lord Death: *Karate chops Ratchet*

Ratchet: *On the floor* Those hands aren't as squishy as they look

Lord Death: Damn right they're not

Excalibur sword: *Jumps out of Swords' hands*

Swords: What the hell?!

*Sword turns into a small white creature wearing a white tuxedo and top hat that also has a white cane. It has beady black eyes and a long, sharp pointy nose that curves upwards*

Excalibur: Was that an entrance or what?

Swords: …

Clank: …

Lord Death: …

Ratchet: ….Is that a penguin?

Excalibur: FOOL! *shoves cane in Ratchet's face* My name is Excalibur, and I am anything but a penguin!

Ratchet: Really? Cause you look like a penguin to me.

Excalibur: And you look like a tiger who was run over by a big truck full of disappointment

Swords: DAMN!

Ratchet: Shut up Swords-

Excalibur: FOOL! You do not tell a lady to shut up!

Ratchet: Trust me, that's not a lady

Excalibur: FOOLISH FOOL!

Ratchet: Would you stop calling me a fool?

Excalibur: ...FOOL!

Ratchet: How come every Soul Eater character we have on here pisses me off?

Lord Death: I piss you off?

Ratchet: Uh yeah, you keep hitting me

Lord Death: I do? How?

Ratchet: You do that Reaper Chop thing

Lord Death: What Reaper Chop thing?

Ratchet: You know, the Reaper Chop. You yell it then you hit me on the head. That thing.

Lord Death: Does it look something like this? REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Ratchet*

Ratchet: *On the floor* I hate this place

Swords: Ehehe…ahh, I love these new characters

Ratchet: I DON'T!

Swords: *snaps fingers*

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP!

Ratchet: NOOOOOOO!

**(Pre-Chorus)**

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

Let's dare it up

**(1st Verse)**

Show of games

Sword shines like the sunlight

Twilight's flames

Burns bright through the sky

Don't grieve on

Cause those diamond dareless days are gone

It didn't die

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

**(2nd Verse)**

Time to go, the main stage is ready

Gonna have the time of our lives

Three strange hosts: Clank is cute but deadly

Ratchet still boasts, Swords' humor thrives

Were back to blowing up things with no budget to lose

We're gonna rise up above when we break all the rules

We're gonna bring back the show and the Diamond Dare crew

Tear up the script, this is it

Cause the dare's up to you

**(Chorus)**

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

...

Today, let's dare it up, let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Because the author will update on time

And you know Swords will commit all new crimes

You know the dare show begins when you say

"I want my dare done this way"

So let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

Let's dare it up today

We're gonna dare it up today

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with me homies Ratchet and Clank, and my newest homie, Lord Death from Soul Eater!

Lord Death: Wassup LEGO homies?

Ninjago characters: 0_0

Camera crew: 0_0

Lord Death: …What?

Kai: ….Okay, I'll be the one to say it…WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!

Swords: In his defense, he's an anime character

Everyone: Oohhhhhhhhhhh

Jay: Neat

Lloyd: Why are your hands so big? You look like Wreck-it Ralph's cousin that he doesn't like to talk about

Lord Death: At least they look like hands and not like a plastic cup holder

Swords: Lloyd, you just got burned by the grim reaper!

Everyone: GRIM REAPER?!

Lloyd: *Bows before Lord Death* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't send me to hell!

Lord Death: I'll think about it, but no promises

Lloyd: *Cries into the floor*

Lord Death: Kidding! I'm not that kind of grim reaper. So I'm not sending you to hell!

Lloyd: ...*Cries into the floor*

Swords: This is going to be a fun episode. Now if we can start the dares-

Excalibur: *Walks out onto the stage* FOOL! We may not start the dares yet because...

Swords: ...

Ratchet: ...

Clank: ...

Lord Death: ...

Everyone else: ...

Kai: ...Is that a penguin?

Excalibur: FOOL! Once again, I am not a penguin. I am the holy sword of Excalibur who's legend dates back to the twelfth century. Now everyone gather around for my 5 hour story about my heroic tale

Clank: Five hour story?

Excalibur: Fool! The five hour story is just one of my 1000 provisions!

Ratchet: 1000 provisions?

Excalibur: FOOLISH FOOL! If you want to wield the holy swords you must meet all 1000 provisions.

Swords: Who would want to wield you?

Excalibur: You apparently. You were the one who took me from the museum and said that I shall serve as your second sword

Swords: Yeah, I did, but I changed my mind when I figured out how lame you were!

Excalibur: FOOL! IT is your destiny to be the hero that wields me. Besides, I will be much better than that dull sword you have in your belt right now

Swords: What's wrong with my diamond sword?! It's unbreakable, unlike your neck which I'm about to put my hands on!

Excalibur: Fool! You may not break the neck of the almighty Excalibur

Swords: ...Put him in the closet

Lord Death: *Picks up Excalibur*

Excalibur: Death you fool! Put me down! How can I tell the five hour story while I'm in the closet?

Lord Death: That's a good question. I'll think about that while you're in here *Throws Excalibur in the closet*

Ratchet: Oh thank the Lord Death he's out of our sight

Kai: Who's idea was it to bring the damn magic penguin here? Probably Swords nonetheless.

Swords: ...Put Kai in there with him

Lord Death: *Picks up Kai and throws him in the closet with Excalibur*

Kai: OW! Little rough there, huh reaper?

Excalibur: FOOL! It should have been an honor to have been thrown in here with me. For now, I shall share the tale of my legend!

Kai: ...Aw fuck

Lord Death: *Comes back* I warned you about Excalibur, I told you that he was annoying!

Swords: Alright...I admit it...Ratchet was wrong

Ratchet: ...I'm going to kick...your...ass

Swords: Don't touch my sweet ass Tony!

Ratchet: MY NAME'S NOT TONY!

Swords: Alright alright, calm down. We've stalled long enough, we seriously need to start the dares. But the thing is that we got a total sh*t load of them, so we'll have to do a speed dare session

Lord Death: Speed dare session?

Clank: It's when we do the quickest dare in like two minutes. But a lot of people get hurt...a lot

Swords: Now then, let's begin!

_**SPEED DARES!**_

Swords: Hey Ratchet! I'm basically dating you in When Dimensions Collide II!

Ratchet: *Vomits*

Everyone: Ewwwwww

Jay: Lombax chunks!

**NEXT!**

Ratchet: Well, as long as we're technically dating *Attempts to kiss Swords*

Swords: AHHHHHHHHHHH! RAPE!

Lord Death: *Reaper chops Ratchet*

Ratchet: OWWW! I bit my tongue!

**NEXT!**

Kai: *Eats a bag of Takis, a ghost pepper, and downs it down with a bottle of hot sauce*

Everyone: ...

Kai: *Farts and rockets through the roof*

Swords: That was the coolest thing I've ever seen

Ratchet: Totally

**NEXT!**

Cole: Man, I'm so bored!

Voltz: Pikachu! (Let's play!)

Cole: ...*sighs* F*ck!

Voltz: PIKAAAACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Uses Thunderbolt*

Cole: No regrets-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**NEXT!**

Jay: HAHAHAHAHAHA! You're being electrocuted!

Cole: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Grabs Jay and throws out the window* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**NEXT!**

Swords: Yo Lloyd, y'all gotz a crush Amber?

Lloyd: Amber as in When Dimensions Collide or Amber as in you?

Swords: Amber as in my name's not Amber, my name is Swords

Lord Death: You're name is Amber?

Swords: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Lloyd: Well, yeah I have a crush on her. The whole plot of WDC II is based on me and Ratchet fighting over you. Love triangles for the win!

Ratchet: Who does win Amber over?

Swords: Well, I know that it's a spoiler, but it's Ratchet

Ratchet: How?

Swords: You just relate to her more

Lloyd: And what do I do about it?

Swords: You wuss out like a bitch!

Lloyd: ...Awww

**NEXT!**

Clank: ...*Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak*

Lord Death: You were right, the more you hear it, the more annoying it gets

**NEXT!**

Kai: Hey look, a new Ninjago story!

Lloyd: Oh boy!

Kai and Lloyd: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GREENFLAME!

Lord Death: What's Greenflame?

Swords: I'll tell you when you're older

Lord Death: I'm eight hundred years old!

**NEXT!**

Cole and Kai: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LAVASHIPPING!

Lord Death: What's that?

Swords: Once again, when you're older!

**NEXT!**

Jay and Zane: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TECHNOSHIPPING!

Lord Death: What's-

Swords: WHEN. YOU'RE. OLDER!

**NEXT!**

Zane: Hey, what about-

Swords: *Slaps Zane*

Zane: OW! What was-

Swords: *Slap*

Zane: Please stop-

Swords: *Slap* Stop talking

Zane: I'm serious-

Swords: *Slap* So am I

_**END OF SPEED DARES**_

Swords: And now, we enter the bigger dares. You know, the dares that actually take time to do

Lord Death: Were you talking to me or the audience?

Swords: Both

Lord Death: ...

Swords: ...ALRIGHTY THEN! First dare is for Sensei Wu!

Sensei: Oh god, am I going to die?

Swords: No, I think that time will take care of that

Sensei: ...Hey!

Swords Ehehe. You have to sing When Loves Run Out by OneRepublic...oh my god I love that song

Sensei: *Sighs* you young people and your music...

**-At the mall-**

Sensei: Alright, let's get this over with

Lord Death: Why is he at the mall?

Swords: Because of this *Grabs a megaphone* THE GIANT GUMMY BEARS ARE COMING!

Random Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Jumps out the window*

Lord Death: Oh dear

Swords: Yeah...it never gets old

Sensei: Stop talking you two I'm trying to do something!

_I'll be your light, your match, your burning sun,_

_I'll be the bright, in black that's makin' you run._

_And we'll feel alright, and we'll feel alright,_

_'Cause we'll work it out, yeah we'll work it out._  
_I'll be doin' this, if you had a doubt,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._  
_I'll be your ghost, your game, your stadium._

_I'll be your fifty-thousand clapping like one._

_And I feel alright, and I feel alright,_

_'Cause I worked it out, yeah I worked it out._  
_I'll be doin' this, if you had a doubt,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._  
_I got my mind made up, man, I can't let go._

_I'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul._

_(Ooh) I'll be running, (Ooh) I'll be running,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._

_And we'll start a fire, and we'll shut it down,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._  
_There's a maniac out in front of me._

_Got an angel on my shoulder, and Mestopheles._

_But mama raised me good, mama raised me right._

_Mama said, "Do what you want, say prayers at night,"_

_And I'm saying them, 'cause I'm so devout._

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out, yeah._  
_I got my mind made up, man, I can't let go._

_I'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul._

_(Ooh) I'll be running, (Ooh) I'll be running,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._

_And we'll start a fire, and we'll shut it down,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._  
_Oh, we all want the same thing._

_Oh, we all run for something._

_Run for God, for fate,_

_For love, for hate,_

_For gold, for rust,_

_For diamonds, for dust._  
_I'll be your light, your match, your burning sun,_

_I'll be the bright, in black that's makin' you run._  
_I got my mind made up, man, I can't let go._

_I'm killing every second 'til it saves my soul._

_(Ooh) I'll be running, (Ooh) I'll be running,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._

_And we'll start a fire, and we'll shut it down,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._  
_I'll be your light, your match, your burning sun,_

_I'll be the bright, in black that's makin' you run._

_And we'll feel alright, and we'll feel alright,_

_'Cause we'll work it out, yes, we'll work it out._

_And we'll start a fire, and we'll shut it down,_

_'Til the love runs out, 'til the love runs out._

_'Til the love runs out._

Sensei: Thank you!

Guards: Alright gramps, let's get you back to the Mental Hospital

Sensei: What?! I just got out of there!

**-Back at the studio-**

*Lord Death and Clank looking awkwardly at Swords and Ratchet*

Clank: What...what are they doing?

Lord Death: I think that they're singing a parody of that song

Swords and Ratchet:

_We've got our minds made up_

_And you know were stoked_

_When we said "Hoenn Confirmed"_

_We thought it as a joke_

_But we'll be waiting, we'll be waiting_

_Until Hoenn's Out_

_Until Hoenn's Out_

_That Ruby Sapphire_

_Alpha Omega_

_Make the trumpet sound_

_That's when Hoenn's Out!_

Lord Death: *Reaper Chops Swords and Ratchet*

Swords: *rubbing head* Thank you Reaper

Lord Death: You're welcome!

Swords: Next dare is for Lloyd, y'all gotz to fight Ratchet

Ratchet: Awww, do I have to

Swords: Either that or a Reaper Chop to the space balls

Lord Death: *Holding up his giant hand* Pick your fate little kitty

Ratchet: ...ALRIGHT LLOYD YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?!

Lloyd: *Stretches* Fine, let's get this over with quickly. It's not like you stand a chance against me-

Ratchet: *Slaps Lloyd with omniwrench* Let's see if you really do wuss out like a bitch!

Lloyd: *angry tone* Mmmmmmm *Punches Ratchet in the face*

Ratchet: Owee. Punchy. *Knees Lloyd in the ninja balls*

Lloyd; *High pitched voice* Owee. Knee...knee-ey

Ratchet: You have such a way with words

Lloyd: SHUT UP! *Punches Ratchet in the jaw*

Ratchet: OW! DAMN IT I BIT MY TONGUE AGAIN!

Lloyd: Ha-*Another knee to the nuts* WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!

Ratchet: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Swords: ...Awww...Ratchet...there are kids here...

Ratchet: LOMBAX RAGE! *Bursts into flames*

Lord Death: Okay, he is no longer Tony the Tiger, he is the Human Torch's cat

Clank: Oh, now why didn't I think of that?

Ratchet: *Jumps on Lloyd and beats the crap out of him*

Lloyd: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! *Knocked out*

Ratchet: *Heavy breathing*

Everyone: 0_0

Swords: Well then Ratchet...why don't you go cool down in the corner?

Ratchet: ...*Slowly walks to the corner*

Swords: Alrighty then...next dare is for Jay, you have to fight that Joel robot from the movie theater

Joel: But my name is-

Sword: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU'RE REAL NAME!

Jay: Oh-no, not that guy again

Joel: Um, I don't see the spilled popcorn that you were talking about

Swords: *Sees Death eating popcorn*

Lord Death: *Eating popcorn* ...What?

Swords: *Nods head towards floor*

Lord Death: ...*Sighs and drops popcorn*

Joel: Oh, nevermind, there it is! *Starts cleaning popcorn*

Zane: Why does Joel sound like me?

Swords: Because the LEGO company doesn't have a very good voice actor budget for Ninjago

Jay: Hey, I'm trying to concentrate here! *Aims for Joel, runs, and kicks him out the window*

Joel: I wasn't DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

Swords: Don't worry! I got it! *Eats popcorn off the ground*

Lord Death and Clank: Ewwww

Swords: Oh be quiet. Onto the next dare...oh boy

Ratchet: *Calmed down* What?

Swords: Lord Death you uh...you wanna take a look at this?

Lord Death: *Reads dare card* ...Oh joy! This dare calls for my son to come in!

Everyone: WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Ratchet and Clank: SON?!

Lord Death: What? Didn't you watch Soul Eater...or read the magna...or look me up on Wikipedia?

Ratchet and Clank: ...

Lord Death: Well then, let me just send my boy a quick text *Pulls out Death Phone*

Swords: *Face is red* Ahhhh...Kidd...

Ratchet: Whatcha...whatcha thinkin; about there Swords?

Swords: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Clank: I think that Swords has a crush on Death's son!

Swords: I do not!

Kidd: *A pale boy with black and white hair and a black tuxedo looking outfit comes through the window on his rocket skate board* Sorry to intrude, but my father has summoned me. You're Swords, am I correct? You gave my father the job?

Swords: Humina humina humina humina humina humina humina humina humina

Ratchet: *slaps Swords*

Swords: Thank you Ratchet

Kidd: That cat just slapped you, are you alright?

Swords: ...Huh? OH YEAH YEAH, I'm fine...*Punches Ratchet* That's for making me look bad

Ratchet: Hahaha!

Clank: Hmm, he seems like a nice boy-

Kidd: OH MY GOODNESS! *Picks up Clank* Such perfect symmetry! You are the perfect robot with the perfect balance of right and left!

Ratchet: ...Okay, what the actual f*ck?

Lord Death: Um, yes, about my son, he is actually obsessed with symmetry. If it's not symmetrical, he'll destroy it.

Clank: But Death, you yourself are not symmetrical. Yet you are his father.

Lord Death: Believe me, the fans are still trying to figure that one out

Swords: Anyway, about the dare which involves him...HYAH! *Cuts off a centimeter of Kidd's hair...then secretly puts in a plastic bag* Ohh yeah

Kidd: Huh? My...my hair...my symmetrical hair...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm an abomination! Kill me where I stand! I am not worthy to be alive in this existence!

Ratchet: You're son is nucking futs bro

Lord Death: I know

Swords: *Face extremely red* I don't care how nucking futs he is, he's still SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot!

Everyone: *Looking at Swords*

Swords: What?

Lord Death: Am I going to be a father-in-law soon?

Ratchet: Ha!

Clank: Ha!

Jay: Ha!

Swords: Jay, why are you laughing?

Jay: Death's leg looks like a spring

Swords: Ahh, knock it off all of y'all! Cause we're done here! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Lord Death: Well, I better let Kai out of the closet *Goes to the closet and opens it*

Kai: *Looks like he's dying*

Excalibur: And then there was the time that I fought along side King Arthur. It was a glorious Tuesday morning...or was it Monday? Yes! A chilly Monday night...then again, Fridays are great for battles. Yes, that fateful Friday afternoon-

Ratchet: What are we going to do with him?

Swords: ...

*Excalibur is kicked out the studio window and lands through the roof of a house*

Excalibur: Well that was rather uncalled for

Swordian #69: *Walks into the living room* What the hell?

Excalibur: FOOL! Sit down and prepare for the five hour story telling party! My legend dates back to the twelfth century on a beautiful Monday afternoon...or was it Saturday

Swordian #69: I don't know what that thing is...but it's pretty lame

* * *

**Lord Death is now officially a darable character (Did any of you notice how Lord Death sounds like Sensei Wu? I checked and they don't have the same voice actor...it's really weird)**

**Thanks a lot glitchmonstrosity...I had to go through the horror of writing Excalibur's dialogue **

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW BATTLE ROYALE IS ON! GO TO THE STORY AND CHALLENGE ON OF THE FOUR DDS CO-HOSTS!**

**Also, I have figured out the hosts' Pokémon Teams:**

**Swords' Team**

-Voltz the Pikachu

-Twilight the Charizard (X Mega)

-Shadow the Umbreon (Shiny)

-Slayer the Scizor(Shiny)

-Elsa the Glaceon

-Percy the Suicune (Shiny)

**Ratchet's Team:**

-Maximo the Luxray (Shiny)

-Pitch the Houndoom (Mega)

-Rush the Lucario

-Ozone the Rayquaza (Shiny)

-Neo the Swampert

-Blazer the Flareon

**Clank's Team:**

-Yuria the Leafeon

-Vetro the Magenzone (Shiny)

-Sclicer the Skarmory

-Aqui the Lapras

-Techmo the Metagross (Mega and shiny)

-Victor the Victini

**Lord Death's Team *Names TBA***

Dusknoir

Spiritomb (Shiny)

Sableye (Mega)

Ludicolo

Darkrai (Shiny)

Scyther

**So, if you want to battle one of the hosts via Pokémon, you'll know what they have**

**Also, I've saved a few dares for next chapter. So for those of you whose dares weren't done this chapter, they may be in the next episode**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	16. Chapter 16: Swordsless Again?

Ratchet: Swords? SWORDS?!

Lord Death: Are you looking for Swords, Ratchet?

Ratchet: No, I'm looking for a magical parrot, YES I'M LOOKING FOR SWORDS!

Lord Death: ...

Ratchet: I'm...I'm sorry. But I seriously can't find her. Oh god she didn't get out of the building again did she?!

Clank: *Flipping through TV channels* No reports of heists or shootings, so that's a no.

Lord Death: *Sees a note on the break room refrigerator* Hm?

Ratchet: What?

Lord Death: *Grabs note* It seems to be a note that was left for us...from Swords

Ratchet: I'll read it, your Wreck-it Ralph hands freak me out *snatches note* It says...

**Dear Lord Death, Clank, and Kitty Bitch,**

**I'm afraid that I can't make it to this episode of DDS. You see, I was checking on Kidd because he's staying at a Motel down the street from my palace when something happened. When he answered the door, he had just gotten out of the shower so he was wearing nothing but a towel. The sight of this made me have one of those "holy crap there's a hot person in front of me" nosebleeds. I fell backwards and hit my head on the concrete floor. Next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed.**

**If you're wondering how I'm doing right now, I'm just gonna say that my nose is still bleeding and I am really starting to get concerned. But my doctor took three months of Medical School, so I think I'm good.**

**LOL JK, OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!**

**But anyway, you three are in charge of DDS while I'm gone. You must take care of the show delicately and be very careful. As if sharpening you weapon. Which I will proceed to urinate on.**

**That's right.**

**If you mess up I'm going to PISS on your weapons!**

**PS: Lord Death, don't send Kidd to the hospital to visit me. Cause he'll only make the nosebleed worse...then again it's totally worth it to see his sexy hair and ass.**

**Take care now, bye bye then**

**-Swords**

Ratchet: ...

Clank: ...

Lord Death: ...

Ratchet: Gentlemen, we're...Swordsless again

Clank: ...

Lord Death: ...

Ratchet: ...F*CK!

***To Be Named*- A Parody of Resonance from Soul Eater (This is just for a test run)**

To dare those who know that they deserve it

A show that's stronger than words

And now the spotlights on this girl and her odd ball co-hosts

And they will not go unheard

Locked inside, we're gonna lose our minds

You will be sharing your laughs with mine

Side by side we'll dare them through the night

Until the morning sun comes up

Don't get Swords upset

Dodge Lord Death's Reaper Chop

And Ratchet's shot

Clank will stay by our side as we slip into madness

To dare those who know that they deserve it

A show that's stronger than words

And now the spotlights on this girl and her odd ball co-hosts

And they will not go unheard

Yeah-ah I could care less

If a user or a guest

Cause their all swordians to me

I mean from the first time that I became a hostess

I knew they would stick with me

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Lord Death: ...*Moves camera so it faces Ratchet*

Ratchet: Hey!

Lord Death: You've done this before, so it's up to you now slugger!

Ratchet: OH uh, okay I guess uh...um...

...

...

Ratchet: *Moves camera so it faces Clank*

Lord Death: No no...no putting Clank on the spot *Moves camera back*

Ratchet: Damn it I hate you so much

Lord Death: Am I gonna have to chop a bitch?

Ninja: *Starting awkwardly at the fighting co-hosts*

Kai: ...Alright, I'll be the one to ask. WHERE THE HELL IS SWORDS?!

Clank: She is in the hospital

Kai: What? Did the cops finally get a bullet in her-AHHHH! *Shot in the arm*

Ratchet: *Holding a gun* No, but I got one in you

Kai: I'm bleeding!

Clank: Don't worry, it blends in with your outfit

Kai: That's not what I was concerned with!

Lord Death: Why does it look like that you have a porcupine on your head?

Kai: Why does it look like you have springs coming out of you?

Jay: Why aren't we shutting the hell up?

Kai: Oh look whose talking about shutting the hell up Mr. Mouth of Lightning!

Jay: I didn't ask for your comments hothead!

Ratchet: *Puts head in hands* Oh god, our weapons are so pissed on

Lord Death: Like hell they are! SILENCE! *Reaper Chops everyone*

Kai: *Holding his head* Owee. Choppy.

Ratchet: Thank you Reaper

Lord Death: I will happily chop anyone *Glares at Kai* **Happily**

Kai: Oh my gosh

Zane: Okay, if we're all done with the snappy comebacks, why is Swords hospitalized?

Ratchet: Oh, she got a severe nosebleed after seeing a half naked Kidd

Everyone: ...

Ratchet: Well she did!

Cole: That makes no sense! How can you get a nosebleed from seeing someone that you consider 'hot'?

Ratchet: Imagine Nya without a top on

Cole: ...*Nosebleed*

Jay: HEY!

Lord Death: *Sighs* This is going to be a long episode

Clank: Tell me about it

**-At the hospital- **

Swords: *Nose still bleeding* Why is my nose still bleeding?!

Doctor: Maybe it's because you're staring at a picture of that Kidd dude you keep fangirling over

Swords: *Picture of Kidd is her phone screensaver* Don't tell me what to do with my life!

Doctor: Right, well then, just hold still and I'll give you this shot to help-

Swords: GET THAT F*CKING THIN SKIN STABBING WEAPON OF SATAN AWAY FROM ME!

Doctor: ...Okay, I guess I could just...get you a pill or two

Swords: That sounds much much better. Oh doctor, before you leave, press the play button on the boombox next to my stuff

Doctor: *Presses play button*

_I know you want me_

_You know I want ya'_

_I know you want meeeee_

_You know I want ya'_

Swords: Damn right I want him

**-Back at the studio-**

Ratchet: Okay, now that we're back from Swords' scene, we're all calm and we can continue the dare show. Because we're over 1,000 words in and we haven't done one dare yet.

Lord Death: And who's fault is that?

Ratchet: The media's

Lord Death: ...Yeah, I guess you're right

Ratchet: Damn right I am. Now then, first dare is for Jay...throw Cole out the window

Jay: *Grabs Cole by the leg and slams him against the wall*

Everyone: *Flinches*

Jay: Whoops, sorry, I missed

Cole: Bullsh*t!

Jay: I diiiid! *throws Cole out the window*

Ratchet: Alright, that was painless...for everyone except Cole

Clank: *Reading dare card* Wait a minute...Cole was supposed to throw Jay out the window

Ratchet: Oh...whoops...my b

Cole: DAMN IT!

Lord Death: Hold on a moment *Grabs Jay and flings him out the window* There, problem solved

Ratchet: Meh, good enough. Next up is Kai, you have to befriend one of Swords' Pokémon

Kai: IMPOSSIBLE! All of Swords' Pokémon are evil and will rip anything to shreds

Clank: *Petting his Leafeon* Yes, that is _completely _true

Ratchet: *Opens duffle bag full of Pokeballs* Alright...uhhh...uh-

Lord Death: Ooh, how about this one *Picks up and throws a Pokeball*

Ratchet: NO DON'T!

*Pokeball opens and out comes a gray and yellow ghost*

Void: Dusknoir!

Ratchet: ...Okay...he's a new one

Lord Death: It looks like me

Clank: It does look like you. Weird mask, head ornament, giant hands, and a spring like leg

Ratchet: I think that's a tail, not a leg

Lord Death: ...You're talking about the big ghost thing right?

Ratchet: *Staring at Lord Death's spring leg* Sure, why not?

Kai: Uhhh...uhhhh, nice ghost...macho...thingy

Void: Noir!

Kai: That thing is pretty damn creepy!

Ratchet: I said the same thing about Lord Death but I learned to deal with him

Lord Death: Reaper Chop! *Karate chops Ratchet*

Ratchet: Ouuch. See? I've about gotten used to these chops

Lord Death: ...*Flicks Ratchet's ear*

Ratchet: OWWWWW! My ears are sensitive!

Lord Death: I know

Ratchet: *Glare*

Kai: Alright...don't worry little...or big guy. I'm just a friendly-

Clank: No he's not!

Kai: SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF METALLIC CRAP!

Void: *Upset from yelling* DuskNOOOOOOIR! *Opens up stomach and sucks Kai in*

Ratchet: ...

Lord Death: ...

Clank: ...

Ratchet: Hey Clank, you're a robot so uh...what the f*ck just happened

Clank: It seems that Void has absorbed Kai into his midriff and sent him to the Underworld

Lord Death: Damn that's scary

Ratchet: Can we uh, can we just move on?

Lord Death and Clank: Please!

Ratchet: Alright, next dare is for Zane. You have to make HailsStorm fettuccini alfredo

Zane: Who is HailStorm?

HailsStorm: *enters studio* This girl!

Everyone: ...

HailsStorm: Hello everyone. Hello Ratchet, hello Clank, hello friendly reaper dude who's in Amberdiamondswords' profile pic

Lord Death: *Holds up a peace sign* Hello, good to see ya'!

HailsStorm: and finally, hello...where's Swords?

Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death: Uhhhhhh

**-At the hospital-**

Swords: *Laying in her hospital bed* Man, I'm starving. I wonder when my food's gonna get here

Doctor: *Enters room* Hello Amber-

Swords: If you call me that again I'm going to smash my boombox over your head

Doctor: ...Okay. Anyway, we found an assistant for you who will help you since you are immobilized from the lack of blood

Swords: Oh sweet, who is it?

Slenderman: *Enters room with pizza* Hey guys!

Swords: ...Oh for god's sake just pull the plug right now

Doctor: You're not on life support

Swords: Oh...well then...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**-Back at the studio- **

Zane; *With fettuccini alfredo* Here you go

HailsStorm: *Eats it* ...*sniff* It's beautiful

Zane: Really?

HailsStorm: Nope *Throws bowl*

Clank: *Bowl on his head* ...Ew

HailsStorm: Alright, I'm out! *Leaves*

Ratchet: Alrighty then...*Grabs a handful of noodles off of Clank's head and starts eating them* Next dare is for Lloyd. You have to watch the "Enter the Ninjago" short from the Lego Movie

Lloyd: The what movie?

Clank: The Lego Movie

Lloyd: What the hell is the Lego Movie?

Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death: *GASP*

Lord Death: BE GONE OUTCAST!

...

...

Lord Death: Go...I'm serious...leave...go do your dare

Lloyd: *Having a mini heart attack* O-Okay *Leaves the room*

Ratchet: ...Okay, I'm going to be the one to say it...DAMN REAPER, YOU SCARY!

Lord Death: And don't you forget it

**~Several minutes later~**

Lloyd: *Comes back*

Everyone: ...

Lloyd: ...SINCE WHEN DO I FREAKING SOUND LIKE THAT?! AND WHAT WAS UP WITH MY LEGS WHEN I SAT DOWN?! AND WHY WERE YOU GUYS ON SKATEBOARDS?!

Ratchet: It's Hollywood logic!

Clank: It's time lord science!

Lord Death: It's death god business!

Lloyd: I...I don't-alright *Sits back down*

Ratchet: Seriously...what was up with his legs?

Lord Death: I don't know, they looked like a green plastic stick. I honestly don't know.

Ratchet: Ah well, next dare is for Pixal. you have to sing Lucky Strike by Maroon 5

Pixal: Alright

Ratchet: just...just alright. Well then...you know...get moving

Pixal: Alright *Leaves*

Lord Death: ...She's not very exciting

Clank: No she is not

**-At the mall**-

Pixal: Hello everyone! I'm here to-

Lord Death: Hold on, I want to see if this actually works...THE GIANT GUMMY BEARS ARE COMING

Random Guy: *Reading the newspaper* Alright, alright, I'm panicking, I'm panicking *Deep breathe*...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Jumps out the window*

Lord Death: Hahaha, that is fun

Pixal: *Clears throat* Now then, shall I continue?

_You're such a motivator, gotta get your way_  
_ So sick of saying yes sir, yes sir_  
_ You're such an instigator, you wanna play the game_  
_ Take it or leave it, that's her, that's her_

_ And I can't wait another minute_  
_ I can't take the look she's giving_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million_  
_ My lucky strike_

_ Got me so high, and then she dropped me_  
_ But she got me, she got me, she got me bad_  
_ Took me inside and then she rocked me_  
_ She keep me up all night, this is what it sounds like_

_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million, my lucky strike_

_ Stuck in her elevator, she take me to the sky_  
_ And I don't wanna go down, go down_  
_ She said I'll feel you later, go ahead and fantasize_  
_ She make me want her right now right now_

_ And I can't wait another minute_  
_ I can't take the look she's giving_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million_  
_ My lucky strike_

_ Got me so high, and then she dropped me_  
_ But she got me, she got me, she got me bad_  
_ Took me inside and then she rocked me_  
_ She keep me up all night, this is what it sounds like_

_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million, my lucky strike_

_ Hey, you're taking all my pain away_  
_ You're shaking like an earthquake_  
_ Hey, you're taking all my pain away_  
_ You're shaking like an earthquake_

_ Got me so high, and then she dropped me_  
_ But she got me, she got me, she got me bad_  
_ Took me inside and then she rocked me_  
_ She keep me up all night, this is what it sounds like_

_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Oh oh oh my lucky strike_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million, my lucky strike_

_ My lucky strike, my lucky strike_  
_ Your body rocking, keep me up all night_  
_ One in a million _

Zane: *Crying rivers of tears* THAT'S MY GIRL! THAT IS SOMY GIRL! GO PIXAL! ENCORE DANG IT ENCORE!

Pixal: *Facepalm*

Ratchet: *Waving a little flag* Whoooo...go Pixal...whoo

Lord Death: Whooo, next dare, whoo

Ratchet: Next dare is for Cyrus Borg, you have to meet President Business from the Lego Movie

Clank: That is the second Lego Movie dare this chapter

Ratchet: What? Who doesn't love the Lego Movie?

Everyone: ...

Garmadon: *Raises hand*

Ratchet: *Shoots the seat in between Garmadon's legs* Are you sure that you don't like it?

Garmadon: *Puts hand down*

Lord Death: Nice shot

Ratchet: Yeah, too bad I missed

Garmadon: AAHHHH!

Ratchet: Ha! I'm just messing with you

Garmadon: *Passes out*

Lord Death: ...Well then

Cyrus: you guys try to wake him up while I go meet this President Business person *Leaves*

Everyone: ...

Clank: ...

Ratchet: ...*Looks at Lord Death* You still have no legs dude

**-In the middle of somewhere-**

Cyrus: President Business?

Business: AH! Yes yes, Cyrus Borg, sit down-oh wait you already are, have some overpriced coffee, help yourself to some donuts, GIVE ME YOUR COMPANY!

Cyrus: What? No!

Business: I said GIVE MY YOUR COMPANY!

Cyrus: No

Business: ...*sniff* Okay

**-Back at the studio-**

Ratchet: GIVE ME YOUR ACADEMY!

Lord Death: GIVE ME YOUR SPACE STATION!

Clank: ...Don't wait for me, I'm supposed to be the sane one

Ratchet: Yeah, well you'll have t go pretty crazy for this next dare. You have to fight all five ninja...at once

Ninja: CRAP!

Kai: *Still in Void* Crap!

Lord Death: come one Void, barf him up.

Ratchet: Yeah, what's he gonna see in the Underworld? The Grim Reaper?

Lord Death: *Glaring at Ratchet*

Ratchet: Oh yeah...that's right...you're the grim reaper

Lord Death: And don't you forget it boy!

Void: *Barfs up Kai*

Kai: Hey, I'm back!

Clank: *Gets up* Alright, let's just get this over with

Kai: ...Send me back please!

Void: *Smacks Kai*

Kai: Owee. Slappy.

Clank: *Smacks Kai*

Kai: *Tears in his eyes* Owee. Metally slappy.

Jay: Alright, if I just sneak up on him without him knowing, I can beat him

Cole: you just said that out loud

Jay: Oh...well then...f*ck!

Clank: RIP OFF ARTIST! *Kicks Jay in the shins*

Jay: OW! Ha, I got that reference! OWOWOW!

Cole: *Pulls out his scythe* Alright little bot, let's dance!

Clank: Okay, I'll lead! *Grabs Cole's scythe and breaks it in half*

Cole: Aw man, it's Battle Royale all over again

Clank: *Knees Cole in the crotch*

Cole: AHHHHHHHH! *Falls*

Zane and Lloyd: ...RUN! *Starts running*

Clank: Aw come back! The little robot wants to play with you! *Pulls the rug out from under them*

Zane and Lloyd: *Fall to the ground*

Clank: *Pulls out rocket launcher and blows up the ceiling above them*

Zane and Lloyd: *Ceiling pieces fall on them*

Clank: Yaay! I win!

Lord Death: ...Well sh*t

Ratchet: I know right. Sometimes I think that I should be the one riding on his back. Anyway, last dare is for...me. I have to face one of the swordians in a Pokémon battle

**-At the hospital-**

Swords: ...Hey Slendy, mind if I go to the window real quick?

Slenderman: Okay guys!

Swords: *Gets up and goes to the window* ...BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRTTTTTLLLLLLLEEEEEE! Okay, I'm good

Slenderman: *Looking at Swords' ass*

Swords: Hey skippy...want me to tear out the eyes that you don't have?

**-Back at the studio-**

Ratchet: ...IT'S NOT BLARTTLE!

Lord Death: Oh my god you scared the crap out of me!

Ratchet: Sorry, I just...heard something annoying. Anyway, let's get to the blarttle-I MEAN BATTLEFIELD!

**-At the blarttlefield-**

Ratchet: It's...it's battlefield! It's battlefield!

Guest: Hello Ratchet, you ready for a battle?

Ratchet: Finally! Someone who says it correctly!

Guest: Says what correctly?

Ratchet: Nevermind, let's do this

**(Insert Deoxys Battle Theme)**

Ratchet: Oh yeah, my jam right there. Now then, let's try out my new Pokémon team *Pulls out a Pokeball* Go Blazer!

Guest: Go Ribbon!

*Both Pokeballs open up to reveal a Flareon and a Sylveon*

Blazer: Flareon!

Ribbon: Sylveon!

Guest: So, it's the battle of the eons. Let's see which Eeveelution reigns supreme! Ribbon! Use Dazzling Gleam!

Ribbon: Syl! *Eyes glow white and white spiky lights rush towards Blazer*

Blazer: *hit with Dazzling Gleam*

Ratchet: That's one fabulous Sylveon, but I must remind you...

Blazer: *Totally fine*

Ratchet: It's not very effective! Blazer, use Flamethrower!

Blazer: *Fire streams from his mouth*

Ribbon: *On fire* SYYL!

Guest: AH! Ribbon!

Ribbon: *Knocked out*

Guest: My god, is that Flareon on steroids or something?

Ratchet: No, I Super Trained the living sh*t out of him! Now then, move on to your next Pokemon

Guest: Alright, you wanna fight fire with fire? Go! Burunboi! *throws Pokeball and out comes a Charizard*

Burunboi: Rawr!

Ratchet: Oh thank the Lord Death for Blazer's ability Flash Fire. You can't hit me with any of your fire type moves! So try hitting me-

Guest: Burunboi use Dragon Claw

Ratchet: Oh crap

Burunboi: *Slashes Blazer with a giant blue claw*

Blazer: *Knocked out*

Ratchet: Well then...that happened. I guess we'll have fun during this battle after all. Go! Rush! *throws a Pokeball and out comes a shiny Lucario*

Rush: Caruu!

Guest: Hmm...A Charizard...and a Lucario...you know what this means?

Ratchet: Oh...I do

**MEGA~BATTLE!**

Guest and Ratchet: GO! MEGA EVOLUTION! *Presses the button on their Mega Rings*

Burunboi: *Evolves into Mega Charizard X* CHAAAAAAAAAR!

Rush: *Mega evolves into Mega Lucario* CARUUUUU!

Kai: AHHHHH! NOT ANOTHER CHARIZARD X! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Lord Death: Reaper Chop! *Karate chops Kai* I'm trying to watch this!

Ratchet: Rush, use Close Combat!

Rush: *Punches Burunboi several times*

Guest: _That Mega Lucario is very strong and very fast, but everyone knows that it's made of glass_

Rush: *Defenses are lowered from Close Combat*

Guest: Let's finish quickly. Burunboi use Blast Burn!

Burunboi: *Stomps on the ground and a fire spout flares up form beneath Rush's feet*

Rush: HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Faints*

Ratchet: Oh damn, down to my last Pokémon. Good thing I've saved the best for last

Guest: What's this? Some sort of champion Pokémon? Okay, I'll play, who is it?

Ratchet: Go! Ozone! *Throws Pokeball and out comes a shiny Rayquaza*

Ozone: RAYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Guest: Oh that's a good champion

Ratchet: And now that your Charizard is part Dragon type because of it's X evolution, I can do this. Dragon Rush!

Ozone: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Becomes engulfed in a blue light and crashes into Burunboi*

Burunboi: *Fainted*

Guest: Well then...that happened. Looks like I'm on my last Pokémon as well. And I have a champion as well *Throws a Pokeball and out comes an Yveltal*

Yami: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Ratchet: Legendary vs Legendary? Well, it's the final battle, it's against two extremely badass legendaries, and we're both really tired because it's 8:25 PM. so let's just end this with one hit and which ever legendary falls will fall

Guest: Sounds nice. Yami, use Oblivion Wing!

Ratchet: Ozone, use Dragon Rush!

Yami: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *wing glowing red*

Ozone: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *body glowing blue*

Guest and Ratchet: LET'S DO IT!

**Collision in three...two...one-**

*The two Pokémon are separated and knocked out by a giant ice beam*

Swords: You two done goofed

Ratchet: Wha-wha-wha-wha

Guest: Holy crap Swords is here...and she has a shiny Suicune!

Percy: Cuuuuuuune!

Swords: No one has a Pokémon Blarttle while I'm away. So I declare the winner of this blarttle to be me

Ratchet: How do you win a three-use Pokémon battle by just beating one of my Pokémon?

Swords: F*ck you, that's how

Clank: I see that you've made a full recovery

Swords: Meh, 87% recovered

Lord Death: But you...didn't check out?

Swords: What makes you say that?

Lord Death: You're still wearing your hospital robe

Swords: *Looks down to see that she's still wearing her hospital robe* ...Wardrobe malfunction

Clank: You have dragon feet

Swords: Yes, I know, don't freaking mention them!

Ratchet: Well, we already went through all the dares

Clank: Well, not all of them *Hands Ratchet a dare card*

Ratchet: ...Oh boy

Swords: What? *Reads dare card* ...Oh boy

Lord Death: What?

Swords: *Hands Lord Death the dare card, but her robe becomes untied and falls to show some of her..."chest"*

Ratchet: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Falls back with a nosebleed*

Lord Death: *Covers eyes* Oh dear, just cover back up, I promise that I didn't see anything!

Swords: *Snaps fingers and she has her regular clothes back on*

Clank: Why didn't you do that in the first place?

Swords: I'm not quite sure

Lord Death: Anyway, Kai, you have to retell Excalibur's legend

Kai: ...*sighs* Alright, It's five hours long, so the longer I whine, the longer I'm going to be here. ANYWAY it was a warm Friday evening...or did he say it was Monday...then again, it seems nice to start a legend on a Friday...or on a Saturday morning...maybe Wednesday night...no, no, it was a warm Friday afternoon...wait, what about Thursday?

Swords: Ugh, you wanna take Ratchet to the hospital?

Lord Death: Sure *Picks up Ratchet whose nose is still bleeding*

*The three walk outside*

Swords: It's disturbing that he got a nosebleed

Clank: Well he did see you're-

Swords: Yeah, Clank, I'm gonna stop you RIGHT there

Lord Death: Are you sure that you're feeling better Swords?

Swords: Yeah, as long as I don't get another nosebleed

Kidd: *Wearing a white tank top and shorts* Whoo, it's a bit warm out today. But, good news is that it's eighty-eight degrees out! So even the temperature is symmetrical! Oh, hi Swords, are you feeling better?

Swords: Uhh...uhhhhhh...uhhh

Lord Death: Oh boy

Swords: *Falls back with a nosebleed*

Lord Death: ...*Sighs and looks at Clank* Call an ambulance

* * *

**Sorry this took so long to get up, I was VERY VERY busy**

**Also, I'm getting into two new animes: Hellsing Ultimate and Death Note. And my brother freaking loves Hellsing, so finally we have an anime to watch together!**

**And check out the new profile pic. Looks like Lord Death hacked into my account and uploaded a selfie of himself. I would kill him but I actually quite like it, so I'm keeping it like that. But it's super awkward when I go to Manage Stories and I have, like, forty Lord Death's staring at me. **

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up a complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	17. Chapter 17: Death vs Undeath

**-INSIDE THE GAME CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS-**

*Swords and Lord Death are standing around*

Lord Death: So...uh...what exactly are we doing?

Swords: We're inside the popular game, Call of Duty: Black Ops

Lord Death: Yes, I know that, but what is it that we do in this game?

Swords: Easy. There are two teams and we shoot the living hell out of someone who isn't on our team.

Lord Death: So people are going to shoot at us?

Swords: Yup

Lord Death: And we're just standing here

Swords: Yup

Lord Death: Out in the open

Swords: Yup

Lord Death: ...

Swords: ...Oh sh*t, we should probably run shouldn't we?

Random People: *Shooting at them*

Swords: RUN AWAY!

*Swords and Lord Death run...well technically Lord Death bounced and Swords ran away behind a boulder*

Swords: Well that escalated quickly

Lord Death: What do we do?

Swords: I'll tell you what we're gonna do, we're gonna take down these bitches!

Lord Death: and how are we going to do that?

Swords: We're going to use the Zane Method!

Lord Death: And how does that method go?

Swords: Throw me

Lord Death: Excuse me?

Swords: THROW ME!

Lord Death: *Grabs Swords and throws her into the air*

Swords: *Aims her gun at someone and shoots them* YEAH! I GOT ONE!

Ratchet: *shot in the chest* OW! Aw you bitch, I'm on your team!

Swords: Oh, Ratchet I didn't know it was you. Sorry about shooting you in the chest and all. But I know that if you look deep into your heart...which it currently all over that tree, you'll find a way to forgive me

Ratchet: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmm

Swords: By the way, where's Clank?

Clank: *Army helmet covering his head* I'm right here...I think

Swords: That...that is just adorable

Ratchet: Yeah, can I get some medical attention over here?

Swords: Sorry, can't hear you over all of Clank's adorableness!

Ratchet: Ugh *Lowers head* I really need to find a better job

**Dare Madness- A Parody of "Resonance" from Soul Eater, the new opening for the Diamond Dare Show (it's shorter and take sup less space, plus it's updated so Lord Death is in it)**

To dare those who know that they deserve it

A show that's stronger than words

And now the spotlights on this girl and her odd ball co-hosts

And they will not go unheard

Locked inside, we're gonna lose our minds

You will be sharing your laughs with mine

Side by side we'll dare them through the night

Until the morning sun comes up

Don't get Swords upset

Dodge Lord Death's Reaper Chop

And Ratchet's shot

Clank will stay by our side as we fall to dare madness

To dare those who know that they deserve it

A show that's stronger than words

And now the spotlights on this girl and her odd ball co-hosts

And they will not go unheard

Yeah-ah I could care less

If a user or a guest

Cause their all swordians to me

I mean from the first time that I became a hostess

I knew they would stick with me

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with me homies Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death and we're ready to bring the pain!

Ratchet: *With a crutch and a bandaged chest*

Kai: Okay...what the hell happened to him?

Ratchet: War injury

Clank: But weren't we in a holodeck?

Ratchet: What?

Clank: Yes, we were in a holodeck. So your injuries are not real.

Ratchet: Uh...oh yeah

Swords: Do you want them to be real?

Ratchet: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO *Throws crutch*

Jay: OW MY LEG!

Ratchet: Well at least the crutch won't have to go to waste

Lord Death: You silly humans and your many appendages! My spring leg here is unbreakable

Swords: Really? *Pokes Death's spring leg* Huh...it's like rubber...I wonder *Grabs an arrow and fires it using Death's spring leg as a bow*

Jay: OW MY EYE!

Ratchet: Well looks like the bandages won't go to waste either

Swords: Hey hey hey! We gotta focus bros, we gotta focus! We have lots of dares to do *Waves dare cards around* WE GOTTA DO THESE! *Dare card slips from her hand and flies to Jay*

Jay: OW MY OTHER EYE!

Ratchet: Sorry, I have nothing left!

Jay: *Lowers head* Damn

Swords: Yeah, I'm going to need that card back

Jay: ...*Pulls card from his eye* OWEEEEEE! Here you go

Swords: *Takes card* Aw gross, it's covered in you blood. Reaper, lick the blood off this card

Lord Death: Oh I get, since I'm the grim reaper that automatically makes me love the taste of blood?

Swords: ...Yes

Lord Death: ...*Sighs and licks the blood off the card*

Ratchet: Ewwww

Lord Death: Watch it, next time it'll be your blood

Ratchet: ...

Swords: He means it too Puss in No-Boots. ANYWAY, on with the dares. We have a lot of them so we'll have to do a speed dare session

Everyone: AWWWWWWW

Swords: Are you...are you guys seriously going to do this? You've done this, like, four other times and you remember what happened

Everyone: ...

Swords: Yeah, you guys just wussed out like bitches! Now then, onto the speed dares!

_**-SPEED DARES-**_

Swords: *Slams headphones on Cole's head* Hey Cole listen to this for five hours! *Turns on Bye Bye Bye by N-Sync*

Cole: Oh...ohhh...ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhhhhhh...yeah, I'm good here

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: Hey Kai, you remember Bald Guy?

Kai: Unfortunately

Swords: Well now go fight his puppy!

Kai: Wait wha-

Swords: *throws Kai out the window*

Kai: AAAAHHHHHHHHH! *Falls into Bald Guy's house* Owee. Crashy. Now, where is this puppy?

Excalibur: Glorious! Another member for my five hour story telling party!

Kai: AHHHH! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?! I thought that I was fighting a puppy?

Bald Guy: I thought that he was a puppy?

Kai: Why the hell would something look like that?!

Excalibur: I was about to say the same thing about your hair

Bald Guy: Ouch, I felt that burn

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: Here, drink this *Gives Sensei a five gallon bucket of tea*

Sensei: HALLELUJAH! *Drinks tea*

**One hour later**

Sensei: Can I go to the bathroom?

Swords: NO!

_**NEXT!**_

Kidd: Hello Swords

Swords: Errr...errrrrrr

Kidd: I believe that I was summoned for a dare to kiss you

Swords: Errrrrrrrr...errrr

Kidd: Well, here goes nothing *Makes out with Swords*

Swords: ...*Nosebleed rockets her through the wall*

Lord Death: 0_0

Clank: 0_0

Ratchet: ...Well sh*t

_**NEXT! **_

Lord Death: ...

Snike: ...

Drakel: ...

Lord Death: ...

Snike: ...Is that the grim reaper?

Drakel: Yep

Snike: Oh my gosh

_**NEXT!**_

Ratchet: Hey Swords, you ever hear of a Keyblade?

Swords: Isn't that the weapon from Kingdom Hearts?

Ratchet: Yep

Swords: Then yes, I have heard of it

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: Hey, what's going on in Ninjago right now?

Lloyd: The Overlord is back, Nindroids took over, Zane fell in love, Pythor is back, Lloyd isn't the golden ninja anymore, The Overlord became the Golden Master, and then Zane defeated the Golden Master and theoretically died

Swords: ...Neat

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: Hey Reaper, ever notice how the moon in The Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask looks like the sun in Soul Eater?

Lord Death: What? What are you talking about, I don't see any-

Clank: *shows Lord Death a picture of the Legend of Zelda Moon*

Lord Death: OH MY VARIOUS GODS!

Swords: Oh, by the way, have a special edition Lord Death toaster *Hands Lord Death the toaster*

Lord Death: ...This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life

_**NEXT!**_

Swords: Hey! Misako and Nya, eat that black syrup on the table over there!

Nya: ...Why?

Swords: Because I said so bitch, now EAT IT!

Nya and Misako: *Quickly eats the black syrup, but immediately spits it out*

Misako: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT STUFF?!

Swords: Boiled Coca-Cola!

Nya: Why?!

Swords: Because my Swordian's dares are awesome!

_**-END OF SPEED DARING-**_

Swords: Whoo, good speed daring. Now to move onto the real dares

Ratchet: Just...just like that? We're going to move on without any sort of shenanigans?

Swords: Well it is 8:53 PM and the author has to go to bed soon, so we must move along

Ratchet: ...Alrighty then

Swords: Hey, I was going to say that you bastard!

Ratchet: Heh-heh, sorry

Swords: No you're not

Ratchet: Damn right I'm not

Swords: *Growl* Death!

Lord Death: Reaper Chop! *Karate chops Ratchet*

Swords I freaking love this guy! Why didn't we recruit him sooner?!

Clank: Because the author didn't know about Soul Eater until a few weeks ago

Swords: Uh...oh yeah. ANYWAY onto the other dares! Hey Clank, you wanna fight some ninja?

Clank: Yes! Yes I do!

Swords: Uh let's see...you can fight Lloyd, Jay, and Cole

Lloyd, Jay, and Cole: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Clank: Yaay! I get to kick butt!

Lloyd: It's okay...it's okay, I think I know his battle style. I think that we actually have a chance to beat him this time!

Jay: Uh, Lloyd

Lloyd: What?

Cole: He has your sleeve

Lloyd: *Looks down to see Clank has his sleeve* ...So he does

Clank: *Swings Lloyd around and throws him into Jay and Cole, sending them out the window*

Lord Death: Oh dear, he's a strong little guy isn't he?

Ratchet: Reaper, you don't know the half of it

Swords: Well then, next dare is for all four of us

Ratchet: *Deep voice* Really?

Swords: Ha! I got that reference! Anyway, we have to journey into Slenderman's forest for three hours

Lord Death: Slenderman? I hate that guy, he was my neighbor.

Ratchet: Wait, really?

Lord Death: Yep, we both involve some sort of death so we had to live next to each other. But then he moved to the woods and I moved to Death City.

Swords: Yeah, he was once my cellmate

Lord Death: Why was he your cellmate?

Swords: Nevermind, let's go!

**-In Slenderman's woods-**

Swords: *With a flashlight* Oh god, it smells out here

Ratchet: Well, Slenderman doesn't exactly have a toilet out here

Clank: Oh...so that what I stepped...I need a wet cloth!

Swords: Ratchet, carry him so he doesn't step in anymore Slenderpoo

Ratchet: *Carrying Clank*

Lord Death: Not exactly a welcoming place now is it?

SwordS: Meh, not really. But I would love to have a picnic here

Ratchet: Oh yeah

Lord Death: Totally

Clank: Indeed

?: Hey guys!

Clank: What was that?

Ratchet: The ice cream man?

Swords: Yes Ratchet...the ice cream man is here in the middle of the woods

Ratchet: Well you never know-

Slenderman: HEY GUYS!

All four: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Slenderman: Oh my death god, is that Lord Death

Lord Death: *Lowers head* Yeah, hey Slendy...how's hanging?

Slenderman: Oh you know how it is, I kill people every once in awhile

Lord Death: Yeah yeah...that's nice...Has it been three hours yet?

Swords: No

Lord Death: TOO BAD WE'RE LEAVING! *Grabs Ratchet and Swords and runs...well hops away*

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: Well so much for that dare...I'm gonna go sing something

Ratchet: What?

Swords: Yeah, I'm bored, I'm gonna go to the mall and sing something. It's a dare anyway, GOODBYE!

Lord Death: She's weird

Ratchet: YA' THINK?!

**-At the Diamond County Mall-**

Swords: *Standing on top of a fountain* What's up mall bitches?! My name's Swords Evelyn and I'm gonna sing something

*Dollar lands on Swords' boot*

Swords: ...Th-th...thank you? Anyway, I'm gonna do something a little different...I'M GONNA SING A SONG IN JAPANESE! START THE AWESOME INSTRUMENTAL

**(Insert Paper Moon)**

_I'm falling down into my shadow_

_Iki wo hisomete_

_Matteiru deadly night_

_Don't scary majo ga egaita_

_Kabocha no basha mo_

_Sono me ni utsuseru kara_

_See you in my dreams_

_Yeah baby kowai yume da to shitemo_

_Fairy blue_

_Kimi no tame ni hoshi wo kudaki_

_Kazaritsuketa_

_Black Paper Moon_

_Shinjite kureta nara!_

_When you lost here_

_I am forever with your soul_

_Miagereba kagayaku tsuki no youni_

_Amai shinku no jamu wo_

_Otoshita kaado ni ukabiagaru moji_

_Your destiny kimi ga nozomeba_

_Donna sekai mo_

_Sono te ni tsukameru kara_

_Madowasarenai de_

_Darenimo kowasenai_

_Fairy Blue_

_Kimi ga kureta ikiru akashi_

_Kizuna to iu eien_

_Sakende kureta nara_

_I will find you my dear!_

_Doko ni itemo_

_Karamitsuku jubaku wo tokihanatte_

_Daremo shinjirarenakute_

_Hikutsu ni naru toki mo aru_

_Soredemo kimi no kotoba ha_

_Itsudemo mune ni hibiiteru_

_Fairy blue_

_Kimi no tame ni hoshi wo kudaki_

_Kazaritsuketa mejirushi_

_Yume wo miushinatte mayotta toki_

_Miagete hoshii_

_Fairy blue_

_Kimi ga kureta ikiru akashi_

_Kizuna to iu shinrai_

_Kimi ha hitori janai_

_When you lost here_

_I am forever with your soul_

_Tadoritsukeru kimi ga shinjiru nara_

Swords: Alright I'm not bored anymore, GOODBYE!

Everyone: ...

Random Shopped: Did anyone understand that?

**-Back at the studio-**

Ratchet: *Typing the song lyrics into Google Translate*

Swords: *Slaps phone out of his hand* NO TRANSLATE! YOU GOTTA DARE BOY!

Ratchet: Aww...wait, what?!

Swords: Yep, you have to fight someone

Ratchet: Oh please don't tell me that it's you

Swords: Nope

Ratchet: Ohhhhh thank Helix

Swords: Nope, you have to fight that chick *Points to a girl with light brown hair with cat ears coming out of her head, yellow eyes, a sea green shirt, gray pants, and knee high boots*

Kazumi: Meow

Ratchet: ...HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA HUMINAAAAAAAA *Nosebleed*

Lord Death: YOU!

Kazumi: Oh, well hello there Reaper, how's your scratched up back?

Lord Death: ERRRRRRRR *Pulls out his Death Scythe*

Swords: *Holds him back* Down boy, this isn't your fight

Kazumi: *Sticks tongue out at Lord Death*

Lord Death:...REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Kazumi*

Kazumi: OWWW! Oh god, it looked less painful on TV!

Lord Death: Yeah, well it's not

Ratchet: *Plugging up his nose with toilet paper* Well, this is a fight so I am going to fight you

Kazumi: And what exactly are you going to fight me with?

Ratchet: *Pulls out an omniwrench*

Kazumi: You're going to fight me...with a giant wrench?

Ratchet: Yeah

Kazumi: ...Okay then *Pulls out daggers and hisses*

Ratchet: Whoa, no more Ms. Nice Kitty

Kazumi: Damn right *throws daggers*

Ratchet: OH CRAP! *Blocks them with Omniwrench* Well that worked out better than expected, now then *Pulls out a gun*

Kazumi: Whoa...whoa man, let's all keep calm here

Ratchet: I am calm *Fires gun and shoots Kazumi*

Swords: DUDE! YOU JUST SHOT HER!

Ratchet: Uh...oh yeah...I guess I did...OH SH*T I DID! *Runs over to Kazumi* Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, what am I gonna do?

Kazumi: *Grabs Ratchet's throat* ...You're gonna lose *throws Ratchet into the wall*

Ratchet: ...Ouuuuuuch

Swords: Oh great, now there's gonna be a giant Lombax print in the wall, greeeaaaaaat. Anyway, onto the last dare. It's a fight dare for...

Everyone: ...

Swords: ...

Everyone: ...

Kai: Well...we're waiting

Swords: ...Lord Death has to fight Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate

Everyone: SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Lord Death: I have to fight Alucard?!

?: Damn right you do

Jay: *Hugs Zane* Wh-what the hell was that?

Swords: Technoshipping!

Jay: *Immediately lets go of Zane*

*A pale vampire wearing a red suit, red pants, a red hat, black shoes, and orange sunglasses fazes through the wall and into the studio*

Alucard: Hello pathetic human...and half human

Swords: Hey!

Alucard: Heh-heh-heh...so, I have to fight this ran over piece of construction paper?

Lord Death: Hey, I'll have you know that I'm the grim reaper!

Alucard: The grim reaper? Heh, I've never seen you before. I guess you must have skipped me on your Death List, because as of now I am an undead being. Basically nothing can kill me. So I laugh at you reaper, you're never going to get me. I'm not scared anyway, you don't look that menacing.

Lord Death: Well we'll see about that buddy boy. I may look like a nice guy, but believe or not but I've actually torn someone's skin right off their body. Then stuffed them into a bag of their own skin.

Alucard: That's pretty hardcore for someone with a funny spring as a leg

Lord Death: Enough talk, let's just get this over with *Pulls out his Death Scythe*

Alucard: A scythe? What, are we living in the 1800's or something? this is what a real weapon looks like *Pulls out twin guns*

Swords: *Pushes Ratchet and Clank out of the room* Come on, let's go watch from behind the bullet proof window

Lord Death: Well then *Spikes become larger and voice become deep* let's get this thing started

Alucard: Sounds like Mr. Nice Guy is gone, and let's keep it that way

Lord Death: *Raises arm* REAPER CHOP!

Alucard: *Dodges Reaper Chop* My turn! *Fires guns*

Lord Death: *Bounces over bullets* This spring leg isn't just to make people laugh! REAPER CHOP!

Alucard: *Dodges Reaper Chop*

Lord Death: *Pissed off* ERRRRRRR! I've had about enough of this! Let's go Soul Resonance!

Alucard: Hm? What's this?

Lord Death: *Raises scythe and it grows to an enormous size with a rainbow glow* KISHIN HUNTER!

Alucard: Well then, looks like you're at full power...I might as well come to my full power as well

Lord Death: Hm?

Alucard: *Symbol on his white gloves begin to glow red* Release Restraint Level One

Swords: Ratchet, cover Clank's eyes

Ratchet: Why?

Alucard: *Turns into a giant gray and black shadow wolf*

Ratchet: Oh that's why *Covers Clank's eyes*

Lord Death: *Brings down Kishin Hunter Scythe*

Alucard: *Jumps up at Lord Death*

**-One collision later-**

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

*Smoke clears*

Swords: How that didn't destroy the studio, I have no idea

Clank: Who won?

Alucard: *Gets off the ground and looks around* Hmmm...heh-heh-heh, looks like the victor is-

Lord Death: ME! REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Alucard*

Alucard: Wow, that really does hurt *Falls to the ground*

Lord Death: Never...make fun...of my springy leg

Swords: ...Well sh*t. Take a note, never make fun of Lord Death or his springy leg. Well looks like that's all we have for this episode. This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Ratchet: So...what do we do with Alucard's body. We can't really just leave him there

Lord Death: Yeah yeah, I got it *Wraps Alucard in his spring leg and fires him out the window*

Swords: What? Is there an ambulance waiting for him down there?

Lord Death: Nope

Swords: ...I still freaking love this guy

* * *

**I've saved two dares for next chapter: the one where Nya sings Reflection and the one with the ninja running 2 1/2 miles**

**Clank's birthday in 25 days! Yaaay! He'll be 13!**

**Also I'll be updating Battle Royale either today or tomorrow, it's Swords vs. ceeloogreenn**

**New Ratchet and Clank Movie screenshots were released! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (If you want to see them, there's someone who posted them on Deviant Art...don't remember who through. Just type in "Ratchet and Clank Movie Screenshots" and they'll probably show up)**

**Still waiting for the new trailer though...MAKE IT HAPPEN INSOMNIAC!**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up a complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	18. Chapter 18: So Many Nosebleeds

Swords: *Online* Hmmm, there are no good Halloween costumes on Amazon

Lord Death: And just why are you looking on Amazon?

Swords: Because the box has a smiley face on it and it makes Clank laugh! Plus it's fun to order stuff online!

Clank: But you do not pay for the items you purchase. When the delivery man comes you just beat him up and take the package.

Swords: Yeah, and it's fun!

Lord Death: What are you going to be for Halloween Clank?

Clank: *Shrugs*

Swords: What are you gonna be Death? The grim reaper? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lord Death: *Not amused*

Swords: Oh f*ck you that was funny! *Logs off computer* Well, we better get to the studio

Ratchet: *Walks in with Frank* Yeah, we can't really do that

Swords: Why the hell not?

Frank: Because a group of children from the Diamond County Elementary School is here to tour the dare show studios. They're going to be in here for at least the next hour.

Swords: Hm, this won't do, we need to start the show...hey Reaper

Lord Death: Hm?

Swords: How are you with fazing through walls?

Lord Death: Well I can make it a little over halfway through, but not all the way

Swords: Perfect. Ratchet, I need you to get me some ketchup

Ratchet: *Sighs* Oh god I don't like the sound of this

**-Several minutes-**

Tour Guide: And this is the Diamond Dare Show studio, one of the Ninjago Archive's most popular dare show. The owner, Amberdiamondswords, or Swords Evelyn as she prefers it, renovated this building with her diamond magic after being empowered by her priceless diamond sword. Right now she resides here with a Lombax, a robot, and the grim reaper

Teacher: Well, that is quite interesting *whispers* and fake. Is there anything else we should be informed about the facility?

Tour Guide: Everything you need to know was covered on the tour-

Lord Death: *Fazes through the wall with Swords in his hands covered in 'blood'* HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!

Kids: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**(Insert epic music) **

**To dare those who know that they deserve it**

**A show that's stronger than words**

**And now the spotlights on this girl and her three co-hosts**

**And they will not go unheard**

**Locked inside, we're gonna lose our minds**

**You will be sharing your laughs with mine**

**Side by side we'll dare them through the night**

**Until the morning sun comes up**

**Don't get Swords upset**

**Dodge Lord Death's Reaper Chop**

**And Ratchet's shot**

**Clank will stay by our side as we fall to dare madness**

**To dare those who know that they deserve it**

**A show that's stronger than words**

**And now the spotlights on this girl and her three co-hosts**

**And they will not go unheard**

**Yeah-ah I could care less**

**If a user or a guest**

**Cause their all swordians you see**

**I mean from the first time that I became a hostess**

**I knew they would stick with me**

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with me homies Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death and we're ready to bring the pain!

Everyone: *Staring at Swords*

Swords: What? What are you looking at?

Kai: Uhhh...we're looking at the ketchup that is all over your body...well most of us. Jay's looking at something else.

Jay: *Eyes start sinking to look at Swords'-*

Swords: *Smacks Jay* My eyes are up here boy! No wonder Nya left you!

Jay: :'(

Swords: Oh don't bother, I won't feel bad for you. Why? 1. I'm Swords Evelyn 2. I'm a Nycole shipper

Jay: Ah, so much for that

Swords: *Glare and backs away slowly* ...*Still backing away* ...*still backing away* ...Am I at my seat yet?

Ratchet: Bitch you might be

Swords: *Turns around to see Ratchet moving her seat*

Ratchet: Uhh...the media told me to do it!

Swords: ...Okay then *sits back down* Now then, we should probably get to the dares cause we have tons of them

Lloyd: *Puts head in his hands* Please don't say Speed Dare, please don't say Speed Dare, please don't say Speed Dare

Swords: So we're going to have to do a speed dare session

Lloyd: OH GOD DAMN IT!

Swords: HeheheHAHAHAHAHA!

_**-SPEED DARING-**_

**FIRST!**

Swords: Hey Lloyd, think fast!

Lloyd: What now-*attacked by a rabid squirrel*

Ratchet: Uh...there aren't any squirrel Pokémon are there?

Swords: Well...

Pachirisu: *Attacking Lloyd* CCHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *Electrocutes Lloyd*

Cole: Is every rodent in that franchise electric

Swords: Basically

**NEXT!**

Lloyd: *Escaped* Oh god...I never want to see another rabid thing again

Swords: Too bad! *Pushes a button and a hole full of rabid fangirls opens up under Lloyd, Kai, and Zane*

Lloyd: ...Aw fuck

Kai, Zane, and Lloyd: *Fall in* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**NEXT!**

Swords: Hey, Kai, you wanna listen to music?

Kai: Sure *Puts on headphones* ...Hey, this is the My Little Pony theme song!

Swords: I know

Kai: *Tries to pull the headphones off, but they're glued to his head* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swords: HeheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**NEXT!**

Swords: Hm..listen to my favorite song Nightcored...alright *Turns on Paper Moon from Soul Eater Nightcored* ...I am SO gonna play this to wake up Frank.

**NEXT!**

*A black cat wearing a witch's hat walks into the studio*

Jay: Awwww, look at the little kitty!

Ninja: Awwwww

Lord Death: Oh-no, what's SHE doing here?

Kai: Uh, what do you mean

Lord Death: There's something that you should know about that cat, she-

*The black cat turns into a half naked super hot witch*

Blair: Hey there cuties, any of you boys wanna take a bath with me?

Ninja: AAHHHHHHHHH!

Jay: *Falls backwards with a nosebleed*

**NEXT!**

Ratchet: Speaking of nosebleeds

Kidd: Man, what is it with people and making me do this? *Makes out with Swords*

Clank: Ratchet, maybe we should prepare ourselves before she-

Ratchet: Hold on, I'm tweeting this

**TriggerLombax**

**October 6th, 7:49 PM**

**_#SwordsxDeaththeKid_**

Ratchet: Alright Swords, you're good!

Swords: *Nosebleed rockets through the roof*

Lord Death: ...

Ratchet: ...

Clank: ...

Lord Death: Is she coming back down?

Ratchet: Eh, doubt it

**NEXT!**

Swords: Okay, the ninja have a lot of Pokémon to fight, so we're just going to do it this way *throws a bunch of Pokeballs*

Kai: What the hell?

Moltres: *Burns Kai*

Zapdos: *Electrocutes Jay*

Articuno: *Freezes Zane*

Cole: *Crushed by Groudon*

Lloyd: *Obliterated by Arceus*

Swords: Much pain, little wow

**NEXT!**

Lord Death: *bouncing around* You cannot fathom how much fun I have doing this...hm?

Voltz: ...

Lord Death: Hello there!

Voltz: ...

Lord Death: Uh...

Voltz: ...

Lord Death: Um...is this part of a dare or something?

Swords: I dunno, I read something about you fighting one of my Pokémon, but I threw the dare card at Jay because he wouldn't stop talking. Plus I don't like his face.

Jay: Hey!

Swords: The truth hurts dude!

Lord Death: Oh, uh, okay. So do I just crush its skull by Reaper Chopping it or-

Voltz: Pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Lord Death: *Sweat drop* Oh dear

Voltz: CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Lord Death: Oh son of a- *electrocuted*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cole: Welcome to my world!

**NEXT!**

Cole: Ugh, I'm so BORED!

Clank: *Grabs Cole's sleeve and pulls him away*

Cole: Oh okay, uh...wh-where are we going?

Clank: *Opens a closet and throws Cole into it*

Cole: OW! What the hell?

Clank: Bye bye! *Closes door*

Cole: What the hell was all that about? He didn't beat me up or anything!

Great Devourer: Grrrrrrrr

Cole: Ohhhh...now I understand...aw fuck

Great Devourer: *Eats Cole*

_**-END OF SPEED DARING-**_

Swords: *Fanning herself with the dare cards* Whoo, good speed daring everyone. Damn good speed daring!

Ratchet: Uhh, I think that Voltz gave Reaper too much juice

Lord Death: X_X

Swords: Death? Lord Death? Reaper?!

Lord Death: X_X

Swords: ...Hey look, there's a new store opening called Mandolins and Coffee Beans!

Lord Death: *Snaps back into consciousness* **Bitch you better not be lying**

Swords: I am!

Lord Death: *Lowers head*

Clank: *Pats Lord Death on the back*

Swords: ALRIGHTY THEN! Let's start the real-and-long-and-somewhat-funnier-dares! FIRST! Nya must dress up as Mulan and sing Reflection in public. Helix f*cking Fossil I love that song!

Nya: Okay but uh...where do I dress up?

Ratchet: Oh, in the dressing room with the eye sized hole in the wall

Nya: Why is there an eye sized hole in the wall?

Ratchet: No reason, well I gotta use the restroom so I might as well get up and leave-

Lord Death: *Reaper Chops Ratchet*

Swords: Come on Ratchet, don't be a pervy Lombax!

Ratchet: Oh you guys suck!

Swords: HehehHAHAHA!

Ratchet: Ugh, that new laugh sucks to

Swords: Bitch I mug people!

**-Several minutes later- **

Nya: *Comes out in Mulan's pink and red dress* So, how to I look?

All boys (except Clank and LD): *Nosebleed to the floor*

Swords: Man...we're gonna have a lot of blood to clean up after this episode

**-At Diamond County Mall-**

Nya: *Walks up on stage* Hello everyone! My name is Nya and-

Random Shopper: OH GOD SHE'S SO FREAKING HOT!

Nya: Well...uh...thank you. As I was saying, I'm Nya and I'm-

Lord Death: THE GIANT GUMMY BEARS ARE COMING!

Random Guy: SWEET FOSSILIZED HELIX! *Jumps out the window*

Swords: Hehehehahaha, nice one Reaper

Nya: I'm Nya and I'm going to sing something!

Shopper: ...Whoo!

Nya: Alright, here we go

**(Insert "Reflection" from Disney's Mulan)**

_Look at me,_

_I may never pass for a perfect bride,_

_Or a perfect daughter._

_Can it be,_

_I'm not meant to play this part?_

_Now I see,_

_That if I were truly to be myself,_

_I would break my family's heart._

_Who is that girl I see,_

_Staring straight back at me?_

_Why is my reflection someone I don't know?_

_Who is that perfect bride?_

_It's not me, though I've tried._

_When will my reflection show,_

_Who I am, inside?_

_How I pray, that a time will come,_

_I can free myself,_

_From their expectations_

_On that day,_

_I'll discover someway to be myself,_

_And to make my family proud._

_They want a docile lamb,_

_No-one knows who I am._

_Must there be a secret me,_

_I'm forced to hide?_

_Must I pretend that I am someone else for all time?_

_When will my reflection show,_

_Who I am inside?_

_When will my reflection show,_

_Who I am inside?_

Nya: Thank you!

*Dollar lands in front of Nya*

Nya: ...Someone shoot whoever did that

Ratchet: *Sighs and pulls his gun out* I'm coming, I'm coming

Swords: You can do it afterwards Ratchet...cause I wanna be there to watch!

Ratchet: You really messed up in the head, now aren't you?

Swords: Hehehe...hehehe...heheheheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YA' DAMN RIGHT I AM! AND LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY!

Clank: I don't like it when she becomes all scary like that

Ratchet: I just don't like her

Swords: Oh shut up you trigger happy kitty, we're best friends and you know it!

Ratchet: Ugh

Swords: Heh. Next dare is for all five ninja. You have to run two and a half miles

Ninja: ...

Kai: That's...that's it?

Swords: Yup

Kai: We just run?

Swords: Yup

Kai: For two and a half miles?

Swords: Yup

Kai: ...Alrighty then, come on guys

**-Out on a track-**

Swords: *In an announcer's booth* Welcome one and all to the Ninja Track Meet! We have some feisty competitors today! We have five ninja about to run the 2 1/2 mile lap. The runner are Lloyd Garmadon, Jay Walker, Cole Hence, Zane Julien, and Kai Flatass!

Kai: HEY!

Swords: The truth is rough and somewhat underwhelming...like your ass

Kai: Err, I'll kill that girl...she didn't hear that, did she?

Swords: Bitch I might have!

Frank: On your marks...get set...GO!

Ninja: *Start running*

Jay: I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!

Swords: *Calls Lord Death* Yo, Lord Death, have Ratchet tell my Groudon that bring on a drought...Groudon...GROUN-DON...Oh you are just a pain in the ass. Kai's flat ass that is.

*Sun and heat gets more intense*

Cole: *Gasping* Wow...it got really hot out...oh god...I can't...I ca-*Falls to the ground*

Kai: Whoo! I've never felt better! Yeah, I'm gonna win! *Trips over Cole* OW MY ASS!

Swords: Flat ass

Kai: SHUT UP!

*Several minutes later and all the ninja have passed out* And the winner is me!

Lloyd: How are you the winner?

Swords: Fuck you that's how

**-Back at the studio-**

Swords: *With a Cross Country trophy* Ahh, it's good to be me

Clank: That ego is looking a bit big on you

Swords: I was about to say the same thing about your cuteness, since you have so much of it

Clank: Hehehehehe!

Swords: ANYWAY! About the next dare. The last two dares are fight dares, and since I don't have a lot of time left, I might as well kill two Delibirds with one stone and make it a tag team battle.

Ratchet: Against who?

Swords: You and Lord Death against two Swordians.

Lord Death and Ratchet: Who are they?

Swords: *Snaps fingers and two girls appear. One is a female Lombax with red, pink, and orange fur and red hair that covers her left eye. Her eyes are amber (ha!) colored and her outfit consists of black combat boots and pants, a white tank top that wraps around her neck, and black fingerless gloves. The other girl just had a simple white t-shirt and jeans on with black tennis shoes. Her hair was brown with blue streaks, but it didn't cover her violet eyes.*

Ruby: Hello there Ratchet

Ratchet: Holy...oh my...uhhh...uhhhh...uhhhhhhhh *nosebleed*

Writer: You ready to get your ass kicked Reaper?

Lord Death: Can't kick what I don't have *Pulls out his Death Scythe*

Ruby: *Pulls out a pistol*

Writer: *Pulls out a bow and arrow and begins levitation*

Ratchet: ...*Nosebleed*

Lord Death: ...RATCHET!

Ratchet: Huh? Oh right! *Pulls out his omniwrench*

Swords: *Throwing popcorn randomly at her face* This is going to be epic

Writer: Ladies first *Pulls back an arrow and fires it*

Lord Death: *Splits the arrow in half*

Writer: Oh, I know what's coming next

Lord Death: *Raises arm* REAPER CHOP!

Writer: *dodges chop*

Lord Death: Grrrrr, I hate it when people dodge my Reaper Chops!

Writer: Dodging's a bitch ain't it?

Ratchet: *Snaps back into focus* You may be pretty, but I'm not afraid to hit a girl *Throws Omniwrench*

Ruby: *Shoots it away*

Ratchet: Man, fighting is much easier in my game

Ruby: I bet it is *Fires pistol*

Ratchet: *Intercepts it with his blaster* You're not the only one with cool toys

Ruby: It appears not

Lord Death: *Holding Writer by the back of the shirt*

Writer: HEY PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Lord Death: Heh-heh, you sound like Medusa!

Writer: *throws a dagger into Lord Death*

Lord Death: OWWEEEEE! STABBY! *Lets Writer go and pulls out the dagger*

Writer: Hehehe, ready to give up? You see Reaper, you have no chance against me. I am all powerful, I may even have what it takes to beat Swords

Swords: No you don't!

Writer: Anyway, you'll never beat me. Not this battle or not any battle as a matter of fa-

Lord Death: *Reaper Chops Writer*

Writer: OW! WHAT THE HELL?!

Lord Death: Always attack when your enemy is doing their monologue

Writer: *Face palm*

Ruby and Ratchet: *Firing at each other like crazy*

Ninja: AAHHHH *Takes cover*

Ruby: One of us will have to hit someone eventually!

Ratchet: Damn right, and it's going to be me! *Aims a shot and shoots Ruby in the arm*

Swords: Wow, that's the second girl Ratchet's shot

Clank: He should get help

Ratchet: *Comes towards Ruby* Listen girl, there's something you should know about me. I've been hanging around Swords for years now, so I've grown a bit bad. Trust me, I love to save the galaxy and stuff, but being bad for just that small amount of time feels so awesome! I'm not a good guy, but I'm not a bad guy. It usually depends on my mood. I am neutral!

Ruby: *Holding her shot arm* Wow...a boy lombax with some spunk...I like that *Pulls Ratchet and makes out with him*

Swords: MUST. TWEET.

Clank: Right behind you! *Pulls out his phone*

Ruby: Bye Ratchet. Hey! Can I get some bandages over here?!

Ratchet: ...*Falls over with a nosebleed*

Writer: *Keeps hitting Lord Death with arrows*

Lord Death: CHOP-OW! CHOP-OW! CHOP-OW!

Writer: You about done there Reaper?

Lord Death: Errrrrrr, you've asked for it!

Writer: Oh-ho, I know what this is

Lord Death: Let's go! Soul Resonance! *Scythe turns humungous and glows rainbow* KISHIN HUNTER!

Writer: Wow, it really is cooler in person. *Pulls back a bow* Come at me

Lord Death: *Brings down his scythe*

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

Swords: Aw, Reaper, again with the big boom?!

Writer: *Smashed up against the wall*

Lord Death: *Heavy breathing*

Writer: ...*Cracks a smile* Heh-heh...well...now I know what to work on for my Battle Royale fight. The victory is yours Death, enjoy while you still can *Leaves*

Swords: Oh dang

Clank: Indeed

Swords: Well then...I guess that's all we have for this episode! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Frank: *enters the studio* Hey Ms. Swords, I checked with the elementary school and they want to not do the tour here anymore-GOOD DEATH GOS WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!

Swords and the co-hosts: Uhhhhhhhh...

Swords: ...I BLAME THE MEDIA! RUN FOR IT!

*The four run out of the studio*

Frank: ...*Sighs*

* * *

**I saved tons of dares for next chaper due to last minute dare lists being submitted. Also, I saved one dare, and it was about battling an OC named Skye or something like that (too lazy to check)**

**Whoo, it is COLD up here in Michigan! I'm freezing my sweet ass off! **

**Now I'm gonna go play Five Nights at Freddy's and have Foxy scare the living shit out of me**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up your complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


	19. Chapter 19: Daring in the Sky

Swords: *With a map and globe* Okay, we'll drop off here for a restroom break then we'll get back on. And we should arrive within the next two hours...

*Lord Death, Ratchet, and Clank walk into the break room*

Ratchet: *Drinking a soda* Oh there she is, let's go, we gotta start the show!

Swords: In a second Ratch, I'm doing stuff

Clank: Why do you have a map? and why are you marking it? And what is with the globe?

Swords: Well, I guess I can't keep it from you guys much longer. Boys, pack your things, we're going travelling!

Clank: WHAT?!

Ratchet: *Spits out his soda*

Lord Death: *Covered in Pepsi*

Ratchet: Oh boy

Lord Death: *Reaper Chops Ratchet*

Ratchet: Ouuuuuuuch. Okay, yeah, I kinda deserved that one.

Lord Death: Damn right you did. So what's with this sudden decision Swords?

Swords: Well, what's the point of DDS staying in one place when we have the whole world to travel? THE WORLD IS OUR FREAKING OYSTER!

Ratchet: And let me guess, you're the pearl inside?

Swords: No, I'm the diamond inside the coal. Clank is the pearl. His head is round and he's shiny, so that's close enough for me!

Ratchet and Lord Death: ...

Swords: ANYWAY! I have chosen three places for DDS to travel to.

Clank: How are we going to go anywhere? We do not have a proper mode of transportation.

Swords: Yeah, that's why I bought a private jet this afternoon

Frank: *Breaks down the wall* WHAT?!

Swords: No need to worry Frank, the money came form my pocket. I'm loaded, remember?

Frank: And yet you refuse pay for a new coffee machine

Swords: SPEEDWAY'S COFFEE IS BETTER! Anyway, we will be travelling to the following three countries: France, Italy, and England. I have-

Ratchet: Aren't those the countries from Cars 2-

Swords: Interrupt me again Ratchet, SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Ratchet: ...

Swords: That's what I thought. So pack your toothbrushes and jammies boys, we leave in twenty minutes!

Lord Death: But what about the show?

Swords: Oh, right, my job. Well, I guess we'll have to have DDS on the plane

Lord Death: *Puts head in hands* Oh dear, we are so doomed

Ratchet: So doomed

Clank: Indeed

Frank: Yep

Swords: ...I'm still standing here

Boys: ...*Runs out the room to pack their bags*

Swords: HeheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I F*CKING LOVE MY LIFE!

**(Insert epic music) **

**To dare those who know that they deserve it**

**A show that's stronger than words**

**And now the spotlights on this girl and her three co-hosts**

**And they will not go unheard**

**Locked inside, we're gonna lose our minds**

**You will be sharing your laughs with mine**

**Side by side we'll dare them through the night**

**Until the morning sun comes up**

**Don't get Swords upset**

**Dodge Lord Death's Reaper Chop**

**And Ratchet's shot**

**Clank will stay by our side as we fall to dare madness**

**To dare those who know that they deserve it**

**A show that's stronger than words**

**And now the spotlights on this girl and her three co-hosts**

**And they will not go unheard**

**Yeah-ah I could care less**

**If a user or a guest**

**Cause their all swordians you see**

**I mean from the first time that I became a hostess**

**I knew they would stick with me**

_**THE DIAMOND DARE SHOW 2: THE DARES STRIKE BACK**_

Swords: Hello my diamond swordians! Amberdiamondswords here with me homies Ratchet, Clank, and Lord Death and we're ready to bring the pain!

Eveyone: 0_0

Swords: What? What is it?

Kai: Wh...why are we on a plane?

Swords: Oh yeah, about that, we're going to France

Darable Characters: WHAT?!

Swords: Yep, DDS is going worldwide bitches! France, Italy, and England!

Jay: Oh god, I think I'm going to be airsick! Is there anything for me hurl in?

Swords: PICK A HOOD! ANY HOOD!

Clank: *Holding Kai's hood* Except for this one

Kai: Hey, give that back!

Clank: *Slaps Kai*

Kai: OWWWWW! *Whimpers like a puppy while placing a hand on his cheek*

Ratchet: Oooh, that looked that it hurt

Kai: It did!

Clank: Hehehehehehe *Hugs Kai's hood*

Lord Death: *Looks around* Hey Swords, where is Frank?

Swords: Oh he's downstairs

Lord Death: Isn't that the cargo hold?

**-In the cargo hold-**

Frank: *Inside a suitcase* I HAVE A FEAR OF THE DARK, FLYING, AND TIGHT PLACES!

**-Back up in First Class-**

Swords: Now then, if we're all done with the questioning and the vomiting, let's start the dares. We have a ton of them so it might take awhile.

Kai: *Twirls finger sarcastically* Whoo

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Kai*

Kai: *Holding head and cheek* I was already hurting enough

Swords: HeheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. My god you cannot fathom how much I love this reaper! But we'll talk about that later. Hey Ratchet, you know what my three favorite thing about DDS is? Third is the money, second is the fans, can you guess what the first is?

Ratchet: Speed Daring?

Swords: *Claps hands together* Nailed it! Let's get started shall we?

Lloyd: Oh son of a-

_**-SPEED DARING-**_

**FIRST!**

Swords: Hey Kai, put this on! *Throws clothes at him*

Kai: Uh...okay *Puts on clothes and he's dressed as Anakin Skywalker* Now what?

Swords: Meh, go around and challenge people to fights. Here, have this *Gives Kai a lightsaber*

Kai: *Turns on lightsaber* ...oh f*ck the hell, yes. *turns to Clank*

Clank: *Still has his hood*

Kai: IMMA KILL YOU YA' METAL DEVIL! *Jumps over Clank*

Swords: *Intercepts attack with diamond sword* You see now I'm gonna have to stop you RIGHT there *Grabs Kai's arm and twists it around his back*

Kai: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

Swords: *Throws Kai down the aisle*

Kai: AW! Now my ass hurts!

Swords: You mean your flat ass?

Kai: SHUT UP!

**NEXT!**

*A black cat wearing a witch's hat crawls onto Lloyd's lap*

Lloyd: Uhhhh...don't I know you?

*Black cat turns into Blair, the super hot witch*

Blair: Hey there little boy, wanna join the Mile High Club?

Lloyd: HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH

Blair: I'll take that as a yes *Makes out with Lloyd*

Swords: I have the most uncomfortable feeling right now...probably because people ship me and Lloyd

Ratchet: WAIT WHAT?!

**NEXT!**

Swords: Hey Kai and Jay, think fast! *Throws Pokeballs*

Kai and Jay: Oh boy

*Voltz, a Tynamo, Eelektrik, Eelektross, Raikou, Jolteon, Zekrom, and Zapdos come out*

Jay: Uhhhh...those are a lot of Electric Type Pokémon

Kai: Wait, I thought that a Trainer could only carry six Pokémon with them

Swords: You seem to be forgetting Kai, I'm Swords f*cking Evelyn *snaps fingers*

Electric Pokémon: *Attack Kai and Jay*

Kai and Jay: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cole: HA! Suckers!

Voltz: *Jumps on Cole's head* Pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Cole: ...I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing this coming

Voltz: CHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cole: Oh son of a-BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**NEXT!**

Swords: Hey Dareth, wanna do something cool?

Dareth: Of course I do. Being the brown ninja, doing something cool is normal to me. So basically you're asking me if I want to do something normal.

Lord Death: ...I want to kill him

Dareth: UGH! No one simply wants to kill the brown ninja, I am loved by all! Everyone who loves the brown ninja, raise your hand!

Everyone: *Doesn't raise their hand*

Swords: Okay, everyone who wants to shove the brown ninja's hood down his throat, raise your hand

Everyone: *Raises their hand*

Dareth: ...Oh what do you guys know?

Swords: I know how to do this *Shoves Dareth into a cannon*

Dareth: Whoa! A cannon?! Okay, Swords, let's just put the cannon away and leave the brown ninja alone

Swords: Oh, I can't do that Dareth. Haven't you heard Alucard's new sensation sweeping the nation?

Dareth: Uhhh

Swords: *Grabs the cannon rope* Bitches love cannons *Fires Dareth out of the plane*

Dareth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Lands onto the island*

Ratchet: ...Alright, I'll bite. What's on the island?

Swords: Wait for it...

Dareth: OUUUUUUCH! Oh god, I think I broke something!

?: *Growl*

Dareth: *Looks up to see a Raikou, Entei, and Suicune*

Clank: Who are they?

Swords: Oh, that's Magaru the Entei, Tigerclaw the Raikou, and Percy the Suicune

Clank: ...Do you mean Percy as in Percy Jack-

Swords: Yes I mean Percy as in Percy Jackson! They both control water, I couldn't help myself!

Dareth: Uhhh...good doggies...good giant doggies

Magaru, Tigerclaw, and Percy: *Attack Dareth*

Dareth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**NEXT!**

Ratchet: Hm, next one is for Death the Kid

Swords: Sweet, I'll go get him

Lord Death: Uhhh...I didn't bring him with me

Swords: *Narrows eyes* That's what you think

Lord Death: *Sweat drop*

Swords: *Opens an overhead compartment and Kidd comes falling out*

Kidd: *Gasp* Where am I? What day is it?

Swords: In a plane, same day as when I stuffed you in there

Lord Death: Hello Kidd!

Kidd: Dad, you have to get me out of here!

Lord Death: No can do, kiddo. We're way above the ground and on our way to Paris, France!

Kidd: ...

Ratchet: Kidd? You alright?

Kidd: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Swords: Stop screaming, I need you to tell me the qualities you look for in a girlfriend!

Kidd: She needs to be smart, loves the color black, and her hair and clothing must be symmetrical! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Swords: Reaper, can you shut the sexy boy up?

Lord Death: *Raises hand* ...Aww, I'm afraid I can't hit him

Ratchet: I can *Hits Kidd on the head with his Omniwrench*

**NEXT!**

Skales: *Chugs a whole bottle of hot sauce*

Everyone: ...

Skales: ...AAAAAHHHHH! *runs to the bathroom*

**NEXT!**

Cole: Alright, three jumps, three co-hosts. TRIPLE TIGER SASHAY! *Jumps onto Ratchet's head*

Ratchet: OWWWWWW!

Cole: *Jumps on Lord Death's head*

Lord Death: OWWWWW! MY SPRING HEAD!

Cole: Last one!

Clank: *covers head*

Swords: INTERCEPTION! *Tackles Cole*

Clank: ...Yaaay!

**NEXT!**

Ruby: *comes out of the cockpit*

Ratchet: HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH *Nosebleed*

Ruby: Hey there tiger, we'll be arriving in Paris in about an hour

Ratchet: HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH HUMINAH *Nosebleed*

Ruby: And I'll be arriving at you right now

Ratchet: HUMINAH HUMINAH-*Makes out with Ruby*

Swords: Pff, and people ship me with him

Kidd: *Looks back and forth between Swords and Ratchet* I can actually see some symmetry between you two

Swords: Oh be quiet you sexy reaper, people ship me and you too

Ratchet: WHAT?!

**NEXT!**

Swords: My favorite Pokémon Lake Guardian is Mesprit...also, someone gave me diamond knuckles *Punches Kai*

Kai: OWWWWWWWWWW WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE TO PUNCH ME?!

_**-END OF SPEED DARING-**_

Swords: Whoo, good speed daring as always! Damn good speed daring

*Lloyd, Ratchet, and Kidd staring at Swords*

Swords: ...Can I help you boys with something?

Ratchet: Well...

Swords: Well what?

Lloyd: You said that swordians ship us with you

Swords: Yeaahhh...?

Kidd: So who do you ship yourself with?

Swords: ...DEATH!

Lord Death: REAPER CHOP! *Karate chops Lloyd and Ratchet* I'll let you off with a warning Kidd

Kidd: *Backs away slowly* Right, well...thank you father

Swords: Alrighty then, is we're all done being Ship Curious Weirdoes, I'd like to get the other dares done. First dare is for a person of my choice. I get to choose who gets to go into the horror game Five Nights at Freddy's

Everyone: *Hides beneath their seat*

Swords: Hmm...I choose...Garmadon!

Garmadon: SON OF A DEATH GOD!

Kidd: Are you talking to me?

Garmadon: No!

Swords: Hey, don't yell at the sexy reaper with the amazing hair!

Kidd: Thank you Swords...is your nose bleeding?

Swords: *Plugging her nose with toilet paper* N-n-n...no. Come on old man, get to it!

Garmadon: *Angry tone* Mmmmmmmm

**INSIDE THE GAME FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S**

**An old man has been hired as the overnight security guard at the popular kids restaurant : Freddy Fazbear's Pizza**

Garmadon: *Inside a small office* Okay...okay where am I? am I inside an office? An office for someone being paid minimum wage?

*Phone rings*

Garmadon: *Picks up the phone* Hello...yeah...well someone had to take the job so-what? What do you mean the animatronics like to wander? How can they wander? What? Stuff you into their suits? Bonnie? Chica? Freddy? Foxy? WHAT IS GOING ON?! *Looks up at the camera to see Bonnie off the stage* WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE'D THE BUNNY MAN GO?! *Checks more cameras and sees Foxy in the cove* Whoa, hello there. You must be Foxy. Now you just stay in there you little creature. *Checks more cameras and finds Bonnie in the diner* Oh, there's the bunny man! Well, everything seems to be going well. Chica and Freddy are on stage, Bonnie's in the diner and Foxy is...*Sees that Foxy is out of his cove* Where did he go? Where the hell did he *Sees Foxy running down the hallway* OH-NOOO!

Foxy: *Enters the room and screeches* SCRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Garmadon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**-Back in the airplane- **

Swords: Helix freaking fossil I love Foxy!

Clank: He reminds me of Ratchet

Lord Death: Yeah, you're right! He does remind me of Ratchet!

Ratchet: HEY!

Swords: HeheheHAHAHAHAHA! It's funny because he's pissed. ANYWAY! Next dare is for the five ninja, you have to fight one of the Swordians OCs

Ninja: AWWWWWWW!

Swords: Nun-uh-uh, no complaining

Ninja: *Sighs and lowers heads*

Swords: HeheHAHAHA! *snaps fingers and a seventeen year old girl wearing a yellow tee, denim overalls, and a black converse and black and yellow hair.*

Skye: Hello boys

Ninja: Whoa

Skye: ...So are we gonna fight or are you just going to stand there

Ninja: RIGHT! *Get into fighting position*

Skye: Alright, let's do thi-wait, are we on a plane?

Swords: We're going to Paris

Skye: Ah, I heard that it's a nice vacation spot

Swords: It is, it really is

Skye: Well, enjoy your time there. No time to kick some ninja's butts!

Cole: Zane and Kai. You hit her down low while me and Jay hit her up high. Lloyd, go from behind.

Ninja: Got it!

Kai and Zane: Let's go, Soul Resonance!

Swords: Wrong show!

Kai and Zane: *Look at each other in embarrassment, then slide on the floor towards Skye*

Lord Death: Oh yeah, like they could do a Soul Resonance *Twirls Death Scythe in his hand*

Cole and Jay: *Jumps in the air*

Jay: I BELIEVE I CAN-

Cole: *Punches Jay* Don't start!

Lloyd: *Jumps to the other side of Skye* I'm still waiting for the waitress to offer me peanuts!

Ninja: *About to attack Skye* HYAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Skye: Oh you five are just making it too easy

Ninja: Wha?

Skye; *Raises hands and blasts ninja away with magic powers*

Kai: WHAT THE HELL?!

Skye: I'm the ninja of magic!

Kai: *Lowers head and sighs* Of course you are

Swords: And this round goes to Skye!

Everyone: ...

Sensei: Whooo

Swords: Now get up you lazy ninja, you have another person to fight!

Ninja: *Twirl fingers sarcastically* Whoo!

Kai: Who is it?

*A girl with royal blue hair, crimson red eyes, dark blue-ish green lips, red long sleeve crop top, black shorts over ripped white leggings, and a green lightsaber walks in*

Xamela: ME!

Jay: Sweet fossilized helix she's hot

Swords: ...

Ratchet: ...

Lord Death: ...

Clank: *Reading a book* ...

Jay: ...What?

Xamela: *Pulls out her lightsaber* Shall we battle or sit around watching Disney movies?

Zane: Well, I do enjoy a good Disney movie every now and- *lightsaber thrown between his legs* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Xamela: Crap, I missed!

Swords: Something tells me that we would be good friends

Xamela: *Swings her lightsaber around*

Ninja: AHHHHH!

Kai: Don't worry boys, I'll handle his *Draws his Fire Blade out* NOW WE SHALL SEE WHO'S SWORD IS-

Xamela: *Cuts Kai's sword in half*

Kai: ...Well sh*t

Xamela: *Kicks all of the ninja's asses*

Kai: *Face against a window*

Cole: *Head in the toilet*

Lloyd: *Under a chair*

Zane: *Up in the storage compartments*

Jay: *Head stuck in a cup holder* HELP! HELP! BLUE NINJA IN DISTRESS!

Swords: Dude, we should totally hang out

Xamela: Totally

Swords: HeheheheHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, looks like that's all we have for this episode! This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!

Pilot: Hello passengers, this is your captain speaking, we are now landing in Paris, France

Everyone: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swords: Let's go sightseeing and buy every single piece of cheese in the city!

Everyone: ...WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jay: Yaaaaaay! My head is still stuck! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

* * *

**DDS is going worldwide (and by that I mean that they're going to three different countries) ! Next chapter: PARIS!**

**Also, I saved a dare for next chapter. It's the one where the ninja have to fight an OC named Sabrina (Kidd's OC sister)**

**Also, more Ratchet and Clank Movie screenshots were released! The main villain, Drek, was revealed with his new design...let me say that...yeah, Drek's new design will give you nightmare**

**Make sure to leave a truth/dare while picking up you complementary toaster!**

**This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!**


End file.
